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self-talk-related stories

Body Image - Stop the Negative Self Talk

Motivation



Jess Weiner blogs about body image on Seventeen.com, and she does a great job of cutting right to heart of the self-esteem issues young girls face. Now, I'm a far cry from 17-years-old. Heck, I have sweatshirts that are older than that. But as I was watching Jess's videos, I realized that a lot of those teenage body image issues stick with us through our very non-teenager years.

I know that I engage in negative self talk sometimes. A while ago, I was shopping with my sister and I tried on a skirt that I knew was flattering. Instead of simply saying I liked it, I asked her if it made my butt look big. I don't really know why ... maybe I was fishing for a compliment or maybe saying things in the negative is just a bad habit. Jess has some tips for breaking the negative thinking:

  • Stop making negative comments about yourself because you're seeking attention. Negative comments, even when we know they aren't true, usually come from a lack of self-esteem. Put negative thoughts of yourself out there and they'll come back to you.
  • Don't define yourself by your size. Find better adjectives about your health, your talents, your intelligence and your positive qualities.
  • Cut off negative comments. If you have people in your life who are critical about your appearance, directly tell them that their comments are hurtful and that you need them to stop.

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How to use self-criticism for good

Motivation

We all have a little voice that reminds us every time we're wrong. While, for the most part, it's good to self-aware (no one wants to be completely blind to their faults), this critical voice can really hold you back.

While it might sound trite, it's important to remember that there's no point in beating yourself up over every little mistake. It's not easy, but the more you work at accepting the principal that there are no complete failures, only learning opportunities, the more you can turn your self-awareness into a productive part of your personality.

As noted on the Life Coaches blog, "the critical voice will have some pretty smart suggestions. Just gotta remember to stop him from being such a crank."

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How to beat procrastination

Healthy Habits, Stress Reduction, Diet & Weight Loss, Motivation

One of my biggest causes of stress is procrastination. I'm a fairly busy person, so there's always something I could be doing -- which makes it easy to put off the less-desirable tasks until they have to get done...or else.

But do those things really "have to" get accomplished?

Apparently, using that kind of language -- even in my thoughts -- may be part of what's causing my procrastination in the first place.

According to Litemind, "we engage in mental dialogs with ourselves all the time," and those of us that procrastinate try and force ourselves into action by thinking we "have to" go to the dentist, or fill out tax forms, or do whatever unpleasant activity we've been avoiding.

However, instead of helping motivating us, language like this is actually counter-productive, as inherent in "have to" statements are other messages, like "I don't want to do it," or "they're making me do it" -- both of which are detrimental.

Instead, Litemind recommends giving yourself the power of choice -- accepting that, on some level, you're choosing to do everything (even avoiding trouble with the government by paying your taxes on time). So, next time, try "I choose to" as opposed to "I have to" and see if makes those chores a little less oppressive.

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Quit that negative self talk

Motivation

We're often our own worst enemies. When I did my minor in Psychology in university, we learned about the 'Self-Fulfilling Prophecy' -- 'a prediction that, in being made, actually causes itself to become true' (Wikipedia.) If you tell yourself that you're a hideous fat beast, you will start to believe it, and you'll lose confidence in yourself. So you have to find a way to reverse this thinking, as difficult as that might sound to people.

The Diet Blog suggests this
: For every negative thought you have about yourself, think a positive thought. And instead and emphasizing what you dislike about your body, talk about what you like. I know it seems like it's impossible that something so small would have a difference on your weight but it will, by boosting your self confidence.

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