Many people who need to lose weight look at their goal weight like it's the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. As if, when they lose the weight, they'll have great self-esteem and better relationships, and life's stresses will magically be solved. Sound familiar?

Reaching a healthy weight is a positive thing. Your well-being, strength and energy will all be improved. What's more, by dropping excess pounds, you'll be reducing your risk of a host of chronic conditions such as high blood pressure, high cholesterol and type II diabetes.

But weight loss isn't the solution to all problems. In fact, the process of losing weight can affect relationships in both positive and negative ways.

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Every couple fights from time to time, but I think it's safe to say we all wish we would fight less. "CafeMom" reports that sex may be the surprising answer. What's more, when you stop focusing on the little things that annoy you and ask yourself how you can put sex back in your marriage, you'll reap the other benefits of a healthy sex life, including reduced stress, improved immunity, better cardiovascular health and higher self-esteem. All that, plus you're burning calories!

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Valentine's Day is right around the corner. You know that the over-sized, heart-shaped box of chocolates doesn't do your hips any favors, but did you know that simply being in a relationship might make you fat?

Several studies have indicated that people tend to gain weight after getting married. Joy Bauer, the nutritionist and diet editor for The Today Show, reasons that married people no longer feel the pressure of the dating scene. Plus, you might pick up on your spouse's unhealthy habits. Joy's husband, for example, has an affinity for Mallomar cookies, buffalo wings and Cap'n Crunch. Obviously, she steers clear of these treats.

Check out the gallery for some of Joy Bauer's tips on staying fit once you're hitched.

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Let's face it. Most of us have those days where we're tempted to use the old "I have a headache" excuse. But wouldn't it be a heck of a lot more fun just to take care of your sex drive like you take care of other aspects of your health? Try these tips:

• Exercise. Aerobic exercise gets your blood flowing, boosts your energy, and triggers endorphins. And when you incorporate exercise into your daily routine, you'll just feel better about yourself and confidence has everything to do with feeling sexy.
• Relax. A stressed-out mood isn't exactly made for the bedroom. In addition to your cardio workouts, try yoga or tai chi -- they offer mind-body benefits that can help you relax.
• Add a little novelty. And I don't mean novelty in the bedroom (although that's not a bad idea, either). Spend some quality time with your significant other doing something different -- go for a hike, play a game of tennis, or try your hand at a rock climbing wall. Any activities that have you working together will help increase your physical awareness of each other and will strengthen your relationship.
• Get your vitamins. Some supplements, such as Ginkgo biloba, have been linked with sex drive, but the science is sketchy at best. You're better off just sticking to a healthy diet including a wide variety of fruits and vegetables.
  

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The whole dinner and a movie thing is so played out. We've all been there, done that, haven't we? The next time you go out on a date -- whether it's with your spouse, existing boyfriend/girlfriend, or a brand new love interest -- why not plan on something more active?

• Jogging. Be like Jake Gyllenhaal and Reese Witherspoon. Drive to a local park or nature preserve and lace up your running shoes. A jog along a path is a great way to spend quality time together. You can unwind later by unpacking that healthy picnic lunch you have waiting in the car.
• Bowling. So it's not the most strenuous activity there is, but bowling can be a lot of fun. Besides, bowling gives you a chance to check out your date from (ahem) all angles. Hopefully you're not as serious about your game as Mario Lopez is, though.
  
• Yoga. There go Reese and Jake getting all fit again ... not to mention Orlando Bloom and his model girlfriend. A yoga class is a perfect way to spend time together and do something a little different.
  
• Adventure sports. Rock climbing, mountain biking, and other adventure sports are a great date choice for the physically fit. Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens recently went kayaking together -- another fun activity.
  
  

The options are limitless. Opt for exercise the next time you have a date -- it's way more rewarding than dinner and a movie.

Ladies, sometimes it just doesn't seem fair -- we have to deal with PMS cravings, monthly bloating, child-bearing hips and more fat cells than men. We seem to gain weight just by looking at a piece of chocolate cake. It seems our gender just isn't conducive to weight loss. But according to recent studies, there's another very good reason we struggle with our weight: Men.

According to this article, a women's weight fluctuates according to the cycles of her relationships.

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I'm a bit of a sucker for memoirs. I even read A Million Little Pieces after James Frey was deemed a fraud. (He's still working, by the way. No such thing as bad press, right?) I just finished The Middle Place by Kelly Corrigan.

Jacki Donaldson read and posted about the book a while back. But I read it after a new friend of mine recommended it. She recently went through the excruciating experience of losing her mother to ALS while living an airplane ride apart. I am currently going through the same thing.

The Middle Place instead involves dealing with cancer, but the themes involving parent-child relationships, distance, disease, and faith are the same. Kelly, who survived her cancer, struggles with all of it, but particularly faith. She is baffled by the Buddhist truth of detachment, "even to people." She still struggles with faith to this day, several years later. I struggle with it a bit as well and I suspect all of us do to some degree. It's the very nature of faith, after all. It's transparent, intangible.

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Would you loan your husband out to a single friend for the night? Let a friend in need use your car? Invite house guests to stay for an indeterminate amount of time? Though these may seem like generous sacrifices you can make for friends and family that you love, a marriage and family therapist at Canadian Living lists them as some of the six sacrifices you should never make.

Why? Because these kinds of sacrifices invite trouble. An accident may wreck more than your car, it could wreck your driving record. And sharing your house can lead to stress and damaged relationships. And doesn't everyone fight about money at some point in their life? Though it feels rewarding to help people in these big sorts of ways, think long and hard, says this therapist, before making a sacrifice you just might not be able to afford (in more ways than one).

I think that much of it boils down to trust. There are friends for whom I'd do almost anything, because I know without a doubt they'd never take advantage. But those are people in my innermost circles, not even just good friends or acquaintances.

What do you think about these six sacrifices? Do you think she's right when she says that people should never make them, or do you think there are instances when you just need to help another person out?

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We've all heard the old "Men are from Mars..." saying. While we certainly aren't planets apart there are some critical differences in the way most men and women express their needs and in what their needs actually are. There's nowhere where those differences can be more apparent than in the bedroom.

Today interviewed two top sex experts, author Ian Kerner and iVillage correspondent Tracey Cox , to come up with a list of mistakes men and women make when it comes to sex:

• Women don't understand why men don't like to cuddle. The two experts disagreed on this, but I'm going to side with the guy who said that most men want to crash after sex, where most women want to connect and cuddle. Guys? Want to weigh in with your opinion on this one?
  

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Do social networking sites like MySpace and Facebook put youth in "mental risk?" At least one London-based psychiatrist thinks so. Dr. Himanshu Tyagi thinks kids who have grown up with the internet and who frequent social networking sites may have a skewed view of how true social interaction works. He warns that kids involved with social networking may place less value on their real lives and that this can lead to impulsive behavior.

Of social networking sites, Tyagi says "It's a world where everything moves fast and changes all the time, where relationships are quickly disposed at the click of a mouse, where you can delete your profile if you don't like it, and swap an unacceptable identity in the blink of an eye for one that is more acceptable."

Other experts disagree. While most concur that overuse of social networking sites can be harmful, some experts like psychologist Graham Jones feel that moderate use is perfectly healthy. In Jones' opinion, many people who use social networking sites tend to be quite social in their real lives as well. Their online presence is just an extension of their real-life social behavior.

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Breaking up is hard to do, isn't it? An Australia man recently found that breaking up with his wife was so painful that he wanted to start over with a completely clean slate. So Ian Usher put his entire life -- including his home, car, possessions, even his friends and a trial period at his job -- up for sale on eBay.

It sold, but for considerably less than he was hoping for. The final bid was about $384,000, which Usher said was about $100,000 less than he was hoping to get. Still, he intends to move on and restart his life with whatever is left.

His rash behavior may have cost him financially, for sure. But I'm wondering if he sold out his support system too. Obviously, you can't sell friends on eBay, but by symbolically lumping them in with the rest of his possessions, was he saying goodbye to them too?

If you've suffered a break up recently, Help Guide has some excellent information on how to cope.

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When you start dating someone new, it's easy to get a little lax in your eating habits. After all, you're going to swanky, romantic restaurants, sharing appetizers and desserts, drinking more wine than normal. Or, if you're past the "wooing" stage, you might find yourself staying in, cuddling, and chowing down on pizza and Chinese takeout.

Dining is such a social occasion that it's no wonder you want to share meals with your sweetie. However, you don't need to sacrifice your figure, wardrobe, or health in order to go on a food-related date. Check out the gallery for some fun, food-y ideas!

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You've heard that old phrase "never go to bed angry," right? It never seemed reasonable to me. Maybe I'm too hot-headed, but I just couldn't imagine being married and never going to sleep upset at my husband. Heck, there are days that I'm annoyed or angry with my son and we don't end the day on a good note. It's amazing how a night's sleep can wash away bad feelings.

According to an article on Revolution Health, it's OK to go to bed angry once in a while. If you think about it, staying up for hours on end talking over everything you're annoyed about could actually be counterproductive at times. Sometimes calmer heads will prevail in the morning after having a good night's sleep.

The article also recommends sleeping in the same bed as you usually do, even if you're angry. If you're up to it, you can even try making love. So what if you're a bit angry? Turn the energy into something a bit more fun than fighting. Also, sometimes it's necessary to agree to disagree. Stating something like "I'm angry with you right now, but I love you very much" can help put a temporary stop to an unresolved argument. For more healthy relationship tips, see AOL Health.

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I think it's safe to say that men and women are a bit of mystery to each other. I'm single, but even my married friends often puzzle over things their spouses have said or done. The Kinsey Institute conducted a study that sheds some light on what turns men on.

The research team set up six focus groups with men ranging from age 18 to 70. The one thing they found is that what turns one man on may not turn on another. As a woman, I'm glad to hear that. It's nice to know that all men aren't looking for that stereotypical "beautiful" girl.

Some turn ons included women who were confident and felt good about themselves. Not surprisingly a good body and a pretty face were listed as turn ons, but so was intelligence. Feeling emotionally connected to a woman is also a turn on for many men, as is a woman's scent.

Want to learn more about sexual health? AOL Body has resources for both men and women.

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I'm friends with a lot of fit couples, and I've noticed that, while they all enjoy working out and have memberships to the same gym, they rarely follow the same fitness routines. They might jump on the elliptical together, or spot each other on weights occasionally, but more often than not, they do their own thing.

As long as they're both happy with their individual routines, generally, it works. However, what if your sweetie is far more dedicated than you are, or vice versa? For example, Spice Girl Geri Halliwell has recently been kicking butt in the fitness department, and she's looking fantastic. However, her dancer boyfriend, Ivan Velez, is reportedly getting fed up with the amount of time she spends working out, and isn't a fan of being roped into her early morning fitness routines.

It's not easy -- if he's naturally thin and you put on weight easily, you might feel compelled to hit the gym hard every day, and he might be perfectly happy going two or three times a week. If you really want to work out together, That's Fit posted some suggestions last year for involving your sweetie, but one thing I would suggest is that you be flexible and figure out whether it's more important to you to have a long, hard workout, or to work out with your partner. If you're willing to take a brisk, two-mile walk instead of a four-mile run, he or she might be more likely to join you. Or, if there's something your sweetie enjoys, give it a shot -- there are plenty of ways to burn calories, after all!

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