That's Fit

Do you sometimes feel like marriage problems are inevitable? They might be -- recent studies show that marriage problems have been linked to a specific gene variation in males. The gene variation, involved in brain signaling, affected the ability to mate for life in rodents and experts believe that it may produce similar results in humans, based on findings that showed that men with the gene were more likely to be unhappy in their relationships.

Still, don't let these findings get you down. Marriage is hard but a little compassion, understanding and quality time goes a long way. Our Life Fit expert Laura Lewis has some valuable tips on how to make love last -- check them out!

Prenuptial agreements are traditionally drawn up to protect parties in the case the marriage fails and they need to divide their assets. But according to Michelle Andrews, over at U.S. News & World Report, lawyers are increasingly seeing prenups that include clauses related to health.

Some potential spouses want to be assured their betrothed won't gain weight or pick up smoking. Others want a guarantee on how many times a week they'll have sex or, in one case, put a weight restriction on physical intimacy. Of course, these clauses aren't legally enforceable, but I suppose if your fiance asks you to agree to them, then you know up front exactly what you're getting into.

We all want our spouses and partners to take good care of themselves. But putting healthy habits on a legal contract? That feels controlling and manipulative to me, not emotions you want to feel when you're saying "I do, till death to us part." I'd have run, far and fast, if my husband had approached me with one of these.

What about you? Are you willing to put your health requirements on paper? Or does this give you the same icky feeling it does me?

In June, Chris told us that married people are generally healthier than their single counterparts. A new study confirms that the statistic is still true, but single men's health is on the rise.

Researchers from Michigan State University wanted to see if the changing trends in marriage and lifestyle -- such as waiting to get married until older -- have had an effect on the long-reported statistic about married couples being healthier.

The researchers reviewed 32 years of data from the National Health Interview Survey. Over time, the health information reported by never-married singles improved dramatically. The self-reported data by married women also indicate an improvement in health. Married men, however, remained relatively the same which narrows the gap between the health of never-married men and married men.

Being happily married doesn't just mean you and your spouse can go out to dinner without arguing about the most asinine issues you can think of, it also means being the recipients of better health.

Brigham Young University researchers discovered that happily married couples, on average, experience lower blood pressure than singles with supportive social networks. The study involved the 24-hour evaluation of 204 married couples and 99 single adults, all of whom wore portable blood pressure monitors at all times for the duration of the study. Evaluation of the monitors' results revealed that the blood pressure of happily married adults lowered more during sleep than that of single people. And, since high blood pressure at night is a sign of increased risk of cardiovascular problems, this finding was particular important.

The full results of the study were published in the March 2008 edition of the Annals of Behavioral Medicine.

We've all seen those lists of top stressors. And it's always struck me that the lists include events that are both happy and horrible. Moving, divorce and marriage are always on them. But putting these in context is important.

Take my friend's recent separation from her spouse. The 10-year relationship was far more stressful than filing the paperwork and finding a new apartment. And speaking of finding a new apartment, moving is always on those top lists. But, let me tell you, I've never seen my friend so happy as when we were moving her new red leather sofa into her bachelorette pad. As for marriage, I'm one of the fortunate ones who can say that promising to be with my husband forever was one of the least stressful things I've ever done. And 10 years later, I feel the same way.

My point is this: there is plenty of joy to be found is these supposedly high-stress events. And from my experience, it can offset most of the negative elements involved in planning a wedding, moving a big piece of furniture or facing life alone. I think this guy's got the right idea. There are fates far worse than moving.

Science has shown us in the past that being married has it perks. Those people are more likely to be healthier, and some folks even attribute longevity to their marital status. But a new study shows that being in a happy marriage can keep your blood pressure in check too. Otherwise, you're healthier off being single according to researchers!

Couples who reported a low level of satisfaction, meaning that their relationship could be turbulent, had a higher systolic blood pressure reading than couples that were happy. Those people in a stressed marriage were shown to have blood pressure approaching an unhealthy level.

But a good level of satisfaction helped the blood pressure of those other couples. This seems like common sense to some people, but it's interesting to observe concrete feedback regarding the heart health of stressed individuals. Of course, there's also that one guy who lived to 100 allegedly thanks to staying single (if only he knew that couples who fight together live longer together).

Valentine's Day is the perfect time to tell you partner you love them. Did you know, however, that how you act the rest of the year can have an impact on your partner's health? For instance, Bev recently told us that a spouse's personality can have an effect on how well you recover from surgery. And Adams shared a study with us that found that fighting (or sharing your feelings, at least) in a marriage can prolong your life.

In that vein, Forbes recently put into pictures several ways to help your spouse live longer. Studies have found that when one spouse kicks a bad habit, like smoking or binging on Doritos every night in front of the TV, the other is more likely to follow suit. Another study found that when one spouse is healthy, the other is more likely to be in good health as well. Finally, when one spouse is obese, the other's chance of obesity goes up 37%.

Oh, and men? Researchers found a nearly instant decrease in the flight or fight response among women when they held their husband's hand. Such a simple gesture, really.

So go ahead and buy those roses, but if you think of your spouse's health the rest of the year, you just might have them around a little while longer.

Valentine's Day is not for everyone. Some people love it and some people loathe it. I don't think that whether or not you're a fan of Cupid's big day necessarily has anything to do with your dating/marriage status. Sure, there are single people who hate it and attached people who love it, but I also know happy couples who feel that any time is a good time to let their other half know that they love them and single people who consider the day a great time to let their friends and family know that they care.

I don't think that you should need an excuse to pamper a loved one (or yourself) but, let's face it, sometimes we all need a reminder. If you're an annual celebrant of Valentine's Day and can't wait to spoil a loved one (or spoil yourself for the benefit of a loved one!) check out the sites that follow for a range of ideas on how to do it. And if you're normally anti-February 14th, why not try altering your thinking slightly this year and use the day as an excuse to take a break and pamper yourself?

Think it's women who are dying to get married? Not exactly. It turns out that men who don't get married tend to die sooner than married men, according to research by the Center for the Study on Aging.

Statistically speaking, taking that walk down the aisle can be a major contributor to better health and a longer life expectancy. Married men are less likely to have drinking problems, commit suicide, and develop mental problems. They also tend to eat healthier and exercise more frequently, all of which increases their chances of living a longer life.

A separate study published in the American Journal of Sociology found that 88% of married men live to the age of 65, while only 63% of never-married men, 65% of divorced men, and 69% of widowed men live to that age.

So, for all you ladies out there who are waiting for your man to pop the question, maybe you can tell him that he better ask you soon -- his life depends on it.

As fabulous as we at That's Fit think this blog is, the truth is there are hundreds of wonderful blogs on healthy living to be seen all over the blogosphere. So in this feature, Fit Links, we'll introduce you to some that have caught our eye.

Tonight, my husband and I are going on a date. To Home Depot. To look at new kitchens. Ah, romance -- it changes as you get older. Lingering over romantic dinners has led to lingering over oak cabinetry and arguing over whether we really need to replace the floor, or not. But hey, if we're fast, we might get to catch a movie when we're done, so there's that.

Though I joke, I know that without care, day-to-day life can have a negative impact on the relationship between two people no matter how much in love they might be. Though grand romantic gestures aren't required or even really necessary after years of marriage, the little things really do count. So with Valentine's Day just around the corner, here are the blogosphere's tips for spicing up your love life, whether your relationship is brand new, or you just want it to feel that way.

Healthbolt's Quick Tips to Fire Up Your Love Life

The New Homemaker's Fifteen Ways to Spice Up Your Love Life

Our own Laura Lewis's 10 Tips for Fabulously Fit Sex

Don't keep all those emotions and feelings bottled up! We've all heard this from the mental health community, and married couples are now hearing it again.

In fact, those married couples who express anger regularly may even outlive those that don't, according to a new study out of the University of Michigan. In other words, express and don't suppress.

Getting anger out into the open and resolving it was found to be much more healthy than bottling up anger and failing to provide any resolution at all. Dr. Ernest Harburg went on to say "If you bury your anger, and you brood on it ... and you don't try to resolve the problem, then you're in trouble."

Now there's a headline liable to shake things up a bit! However, it is not as sensational as it appears to be. The University of Michigan followed nearly 200 couples over the course of 17 years and found out that when a spouse feels attacked, they're more likely to die earlier by keeping it bottled up inside.

This is opposed to expressing their anger and voicing the problem. Most people like to avoid conflict, so this comes as a very interesting study. The findings support getting into the fray when it's called for. Why? Because couples bottling it up are twice as likely to die earlier than their less timid counterparts.

Resolving conflict is always part of being in a relationship, so perhaps living longer is not just the only benefit to settling a dispute. Building up resentment due to keeping problems on the inside can make a person less healthy. After all, it chips away at medical vulnerabilities that are already present. Of course, couples shouldn't use this study as a reason to put on the boxing gloves!

FitSpirit explores the mind-body connection and the intangible benefits we gain from our efforts to stay physically fit.

I'm a fan of talking. I'm not someone who'd ever be labeled a "talker," and by this I mean I don't talk for the sake of talking. I don't hold people captive with endless chit-chat, and I don't need to hear myself speak. I'm as much a fan of silence, really, as I am of talking. Still, when I've got something to say, I say it, especially when not speaking up keeps my feelings and emotions hidden.

In one 10-year study cited in the January 2008 issue of Reader's Digest, about one in four women and one in three men said they held back during a spat. That's what I don't do, can't do, never do. Holding my peace makes me feel sick. According to this same study, this is a natural reaction to suppressing strong emotions. And it's exactly why women who didn't fess up to their feelings in the study were four times as likely to die during the study period. Health wasn't measurably affected for the men in the study.

As we head into a brand new year, with the hope of brand new health, why not resolve to talk more. It might save your relationships -- and your life too.

Healthy relationships are an important aspect to our mental health. But knowing that is one thing -- actually having a healthy relationship is quite another. Are there rules to a healthy relationship?

According to eDiets, there are, and they've outlined them in this article. Here are a few of the 'relationship rules' they specify:

• Choose your partner wisely -- find someone who shares similar beliefs and values.
  
• Don't confuse sex with love -- the two are quite different, though sex is an important part of love.
  
• Know your need and speak them clearly.
  
• Respect your partner -- and respect yourself.
  
• Consider yourself a team, one that is stronger because of your differences.
  
• Know how to manage your differences healthily.

Want to know more? Click here to read the rest of the article.

By the time I reached my mid teens, it seemed as though almost everyone I knew had divorced parents. I thought at first that it was just a local trend; parents filing for divorce and kids, at least seemingly, being forced to deal with it. But, this was far greater reaching than the streets of my neighborhood, for the national divorce rate at that time hovered around 50 percent and exhibited signs of inexorable increase. However, just like all things, this too has changed.

Based on U.S. Census Bureau statistics, divorce rates have stabilized in the past decade, neither decreasing nor increasing to any significant degree. However, statistics from The State of Our Unions, an annual report published by the National Marriage Project at Rutgers University, show that divorce rates are actually declining. The researchers speculate that this may be due to a concurrent decline in marriage rates.

What is on the rise is the rate of cohabitation among partners. Many couples are opting to live together for extended periods of time before marrying, something that was not nearly as common with past generations. Because a 'break-up' does not constitute a legal divorce (in most cases, anyway), couples that split are not accounted for in the statistics, thereby making it seem as though the total number of divorces may be in decline, when in reality, the total number of marriages are also in decline.