Tired of being the guy on the beach who gets sand kicked in his face? Years ago, you could have bought the Charles Atlas dynamic tension muscle-building system to help you fight back. These days, adding some muscle to your frame requires far less effort (outside the gym, anyway).

No longer do you have to mail a check or money order, wait six to eight weeks for a package to arrive, only to then realize that your order was accidentally switched with a woman in Appleton, Wisconsin who ordered a new bird feeder (but let me tell you, that lady is jacked now!!)

Instead, there are hundreds of reputable magazines and websites a person can turn to for some weight room guidance. Needless to say, seek out publications and wellness sites that are most applicable to your particular fitness goals. To that end, and since the goal -- insofar as this particular post goes -- is to bulk up, you're already at the right place, my friend. Try the following quick-tips on for size ... literally.

Don't skip breakfast. Fill up on fruit, some whole-grain carbs, protein, and healthy fats. For a quick fix, try mixing a chocolate protein shake with some steel cut oats and a tablespoon of natural peanut butter.

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If your goal is to get jacked, resist the urge to only focus on your vanity muscles. Though it may seem like hitting the gym every night and performing a bunch of bicep curls and tricep press-downs will help build the buff bod you're yearning for, by following this approach you're actually doing yourself a disservice.

Aside from the fact that an imbalanced physique is at greater risk of injury, focusing only on these smaller muscle groups deprives your body of its full release of testosterone. Because such a large percentage (60 percent) of your overall muscle can be found in your legs and back, working these areas will actually benefit your whole body. And, when you tax these larger muscle groups, your body releases greater amounts of natural growth hormone, causing you to grow all over.

So, the next time you're at the gym, rather than hammering out your umpteenth set of dumbbell curls, try performing some sets of deadlifts and squats. Your body -- even your vanity muscles -- will thank you with the muscle growth you've been hoping for.

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Picture a group of fourteen-year-old boys, all about as skinny and as awkward as ... well, most fourteen-year-old boys, standing in front of a weight bench, trying to figure out how to work out. That was my friends and I many years ago. Our goal was to add some size and strength to our Beetle Baily-like frames, but we had no idea how to go about doing it.

So, we picked up a muscle magazine. We figured, There's this huge dude on the cover and there's a bunch of jacked guys featured inside, so we should do whatever they're doing. What a mistake! No word of a lie, we did EVERY SINGLE EXERCISE featured in that magazine. By the end of the workout (close to three hours later!), we knew something wasn't right. Besides, we were fourteen; we didn't have that kind of time to spare.

Fortunately, one of my friend's older brother worked out regularly, and later that evening he overhead us talking about the workout. After basically telling us we were a bunch of morons, he drew up a far more appropriate workout for the neophytes that we were. The rest, as they say, is history.

The point of me mentioning this is that it's easy to get confused by the overwhelming amount of fitness information out there, especially if you're new to it all. My advice is to stick to the basics. When you are just starting out with a resistance training routine, you really shouldn't be performing drop sets, utilizing rest-pause or pre-exhaust techniques, or any other advanced training methods. Instead, focus on multi-joint exercises, such as the bench press, the squat, pull-ups, deadlifts, and the overhead press. Always be sure to warm up with 5 minutes of light cardio to raise your body temperature and stretch before and after your weight training. Perform 3 sets of 10-15 reps of each exercise at least two or three days per week and you'll start seeing results in no time. And, as an added bonus, nobody's older brother will call you a moron.

It's easy to step into a gym for the first time and feel somewhat intimidated. There are a bunch of people you don't know (many of which may be more fit than you), countless machines that look like torture devices, and a language being spoken that is oftentimes difficult to follow.

With regard to the last of those factors, I've started offering a virtual classroom here on that's fit that I call "Gym Lingo." Although much of what is covered may be old hat to some of you, others will benefit from this crash course on gym speak and will have you fitting in with the locals in no time.

The bell has rung. Please find a seat...

This week we'll focus the various ways people tend to describe the various ways a fit body can be built. Here are just a few to help you along with your gym vocab.

Cut. Generally speaking, this means that a person has a very low body fat percentage and a great deal of muscle definition. (synonyms include: shredded, sliced, diced, ripped, carved)

Jacked. When a person is both large in overall muscle mass and still maintains a good deal of definition, suffice to say that this term certainly applies. (synonyms include: diesel, stacked)

Soft. Not really directed at unseasoned lifters, but more so at veteran exercisers who have lost some muscular definition due to an increase in body fat.

Pumped. Not so much a body type as it is a state of swelling the body experiences from the rush of blood brought on by resistance training. Still, you may frequently hear use this term to describe how someone looks or how they feel.

There are several other ways you may one day hear someone describe a fit body, but these are certainly among the most common. If you have any others that you'd like to add, please be my guest and add them in the comments section below.

Hopefully this helps you the next (or first) time you go to the gym.

Class dismissed.