That's Fit

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Dear Laura,

Why do you think, when I am with my boyfriend or even out with my friends that they all try to tempt me to eat things that would blow my diet? It has gotten worse the more weight I lose. Last month I lost ten pounds and was feeling really proud of myself. And then my boyfriend shows up with a 1 pound bag of my favorite candy. He said it was a "reward." My friends also always try to get me to have dessert when we are out to eat. How do I deal with this? And why do you think they are doing it? And what can I do?

Thank you.

D. S., Newark, N.J.

Dear D.S.,

The "sabotage" of your diet program by your friends and loved ones is something that unfortunately happens to many people. Especially when the person losing weight starts looking and feeling more confident.

I really don't believe those who care about you are really conscious of this behavior. What I theorize is that it "rocks" their boat of what is normal in their lives and the comfort level they had before with you is changing as your physical appearance changes as well as your eating habits. Let's face it. Most people really don't want change. Change to many feels threatening, even "good" change as it is not in the realm of their familiarity. So what they end up doing, more than likely originating from a subconscious level, is try to bestow upon you your favorite snacks and treats. Seeing you enjoy them would be, well, familiar. Right?

Action Tip: Be strong, smile and say no thank you. If they say why, you have three choices. One, you tell the truth. "I am on a diet and I really am not going to blow it. I am feeling too good!" Or two, "I really am not that hungry" or three "My stomach is feeling a bit off right now." (yes, I know, it's a white lie but many a well-meaning friend or loved one has been shut down with this last one!).

Then I have another theory about some men who do not want their sweetheart to lose weight. (Guys, I apologize for the stereotype and I know there are many wonderful, loving , supportive men out there, so please know this is not intended to put all men in this category). Could it be possible that the better you look the more threatened they might feel that another may try to woo you away? This my dear, is basic insecurity.

Action Tip: Reassure your man. Tell him you are crazy about him. And smile and keep on keeping on! After all, you are doing this ultimately for you and no one else! For your health and happiness. Stay on the path.

Healthfully Yours,

Life Fit Expert, Laura Lewis

PS To read more about healthy living and relationships check out the AOL Body Relationship site!

This past Saturday after marathon training with friends, I'd like to tell you that we hit an organic cafe for bean sprout sandwiches and wheatgrass juice. Instead, I hate to admit that -- fueled by each others' hunger and pious attitudes about the 10 miles we just did -- we justified a drive-through at a fast food restaurant for cheeseburgers and fries. Let me say that again: Cheeseburgers. And. Fries. After all, it was the much-needed protein and carbs we needed to "re-charge." Then my friends laughed at me for ordering a Diet Coke, like that would negate the 1,000 calories we were about to consume. I realized in the moment that we were self-sabotaging ourselves but I didn't care. I craved a cheeseburger, and I could run off the calories tomorrow.

Whether we're talking about diets or dating, why do we sabotage ourselves so easily when it so goes against the very result we want? Is it really just a matter of instant gratification at war with the desired-for, more healthy long-term result? Over at BellaOnline, weight loss editor Monica Neave identifies clues to let us know if we're self-sabotaging, and how we can get past the self-sabotage plateau. I learned that my biggest justifier is, "I worked hard, I deserve it!" If you've uttered similar words and are still confused because you're not seeing the results you want, then take some time to consider how self-sabotage might be playing a role. I'm pledging to do the same. I realize that means fewer cheeseburgers in my future but I hold on to the vision of me in my skinny jeans and I suddenly feel stronger.

What are your self-sabotage triggers and how do you side-step them?