That's Fit

Child-rearing is a sticky subject: one that will drive people to shout, scream and preach about the right and wrong ways to do it. I don't believe anyone has the perfect answer. But that doesn't stop people from debating it! Articles like this pose a big question for parenting. Is it effective to let a child "cry it out" for a better night sleep? Or should parents be co-sleeping with their babies?

One method points to something called "ferberizing." Many people may consider this tough love, but Dr. Ferber begs to differ. He states that leaving a baby to cry by itself is not recommended by his system. Instead, he suggests using his time chart for crying only when all other possible solutions have been exhausted. In other words, "ferberizing" should be used to try and fix severe sleeping problems with a baby.

Other people don't identify with his methods. Instead, they co-sleep with their child. Call it attachment parenting if you will, but this basically is the opposite of Ferber's system. Parents and baby share a bed, but they say parents need to have a clearly defined end for this stage. Controversies aside, this seems like an argument that can't be solved using one definite practice over another. As any parent will tell you, every child is different and should be dealt with on a case-by-case basis.

I went to acting school, where you're regularly asked to do move your body and use your voice in ways that you probably haven't before. Our teachers would warn us that, during these exercises, we might "release" something that would make us suddenly burst into tears. Honestly, I assumed this was only because we were a bunch of over-dramatic college students, but apparently this can happen to anyone.

According to this MSNBC article, all of us "use our bodies to tense up against pain or negative experiences," and during exercise we often release these pent-up emotions. Therefore, it's not uncommon for people to cry during yoga, Pilates, or other workouts categorized as "body-mind."

There's a few different explanations for why the body needs an emotional release to coincide with a physical one, but, regardless of the why it happens, it's important to remember that it's OK. The tears are normal, and, chances are, you'll feel better afterward.

Can crying be good for you? Over at Parent Dish, Sandy Maple recently blogged about her daughter's need to cry, and how he daughter always feels better when she's done. Sandy also pointed to research that found that emotional tears actually contain more protein and hormones than allergy or reflex tears, making researchers believe that emotional crying may actually help the body rid itself of waste and prevent depression.

I came across this clip from the Today Show that discusses crying, why we do it, and why it's beneficial. Turns out Sandy was right on target and that crying really does release pent up emotion. What stuck with me though, was that crying for many is really the second part of the flight or fight response. Crying, some experts believe, isn't actually in response to stress, but instead they believe it's a function of the body returning itself to normal following strong emotions.

Other benefits of crying? Better communication (you can't fake real tears, so loved ones know you're feelings are serious when they see you crying), a higher level of intimacy with others, and knowing you're in touch with your emotions. One statistic claims that women cry at least 5 times a month, so the next time you need a good cry...go ahead, and know that you aren't alone.

Unfortunately, teary eyes and tantrums are a very common part of a child's earliest years. Around the first birthday, it is common for kids to develop separation anxiety, getting upset when a parent tries to leave them with someone else. Separation anxiety occurs when a child is fearful of being left with someone else. While these feelings are normal, parents may not know how to react when a child becomes this upset. Understanding what your child is going through and having a few coping strategies in mind can go a long way toward helping both of you get through it. Here's a few helpful hints to help ease those tantrums.

Try not to begin child care or day care between 8 and 12 months of age, when separation anxiety is most likely to start and practice being apart by gradually introducing your child to being alone with other people they trust like family members or special friends. Try not to leave your child when they are tired or hungry and try to schedule your departure after a meal or nap. Be calm and consistent when leaving your child but firmly tell them that you're leaving but that you'll be back, and give them a time frame. Be sure to follow through on promises you make and don't show up late after you've promised your child to be back at a certain time.

I know this may seem like a strange topic but I've been thinking lately about the benefits of crying. As an emotional, Type-A person, I cry about twice a month. Nothing dramatic or depressing; just a good old-fashioned cry. It's the perfect release valve on my pressure-cooker life, enabling me to take a moment to check in, clear my head and craft a new game plan.

It's pretty obvious that crying helps us relieve overwhelming emotions when we can't verbalize our feelings. But did you know there's a difference between emotional tears and chemical tears, like when you cut onions? Emotional crying actually serves a physiological purpose that chemical tears can't, like flushing out toxins and bringing on an increased feeling of well-being. I learned this -- and much more -- when I landed on the Brigham and Women's Hospital website.

Crying can be the result of a problem but it rarely should be considered the problem itself. Crying serves a purpose. It can be curative, healing and natural. So the next time you feel the waterworks coming on, don't be embarrassed or try to stifle your feelings. Grab the tissues and go with it. You're doing your soul -- and body -- good.