That's Fit

Do you avoid the camera's lens? Do you avert your eyes when you walk past a full-length mirror? It's time to take a look and learn to love what you see.

My son has attended the same summer camp for two years now. Throughout the summer there are specialty camps kids can opt to attend. Last summer he signed up for an intense biking camp. At the beginning of the week, there were more than 30 kids signed up. By day three, the numbers had dropped to about 12. By the end of the week, only 6 kids remained.

On the first day of camp, the kids and their counselors rode a total of 10 miles. But the rides were short and they stopped at several fun locations to play and rest in between rides. Still, my very fit and athletic son needed to take a bath that night to relax his muscles.

The second day, the kids rode about the same distance, but with only one, longer break in between. It was a hard day, evidenced by the fact that more than half of the kids dropped out after day two. My son mentioned that he thought maybe he'd like to quit, too. But day three was too intriguing for him to give up.

Jennifer Love Hewitt has dropped 18 pounds and she looks great. She says she feels great and that her energy level has increased, so that's obviously a good thing. And I'm certainly not against anyone shedding a few pounds if it improves their health and makes them feel good. But, I have to admit, I'm a bit disappointed.

Late last year, Hewitt was totally lambasted by the media for some less-than-flattering photos of her in a bikini. Whether you, I, or the paparazzi think she needed to lose any weight then is immaterial. Her response to all the bikini-related press was, in my opinion, nothing short of beautiful. Hewitt said "I've sat by in silence for a long time now about the way women's bodies are constantly scrutinized. To set the record straight, I'm not upset for me, but for all of the girls out there that are struggling with their body image." She appeared confident and happy with her appearance. I thought she really set a great example for being healthy and confident with your body -- even if you have some flaws.

Hewitt said "If I do work out more it will be for my health." I sincerely hope that her health was the only motivation for her current weight loss and that media pressure or any insecurities that developed as a result of it had nothing to do with it.

Pop quiz: On a scale of one to 10, how attractive would you rate yourself? Got a number in your head? Ok, now take that number and add 2. That's how attractive you are to others.

No, seriously! Research out of the UK has shown that on average, others see you as 20% more attractive than you see yourself. Why? Well, it's no secret that many of us are our own worst enemies. But there's another reason: When you look in the mirror, all you see is your looks. When others look at you, they see your personality shine through. Think about it this way: When you look at a photo, you only see a person's physical features. But when you meet them in real life, they're much more dynamic and that ultimately affects how you view them.

How attractive you appear is largely based on your confidence. Take this as a mini ego-boost and hold your head a little bit higher today.

It often seems like Hollywood's leading ladies get sucked into the "thinner is better" mentality, but not Charlize Theron. The A-list actress gained almost 30 pounds for her Oscar-winning role in Monster, but she also lost nearly the same amount for a different role in Sweet Sixteen, and she didn't like either extreme.

Charlize said, "I hated being fat but I also hated being so thin. I went down to a size six and just felt completely uncomfortable." She recalled feeling ribs and bone when wrapping her arms around herself, which made her feel "totally unsexy."

Despite the pressures of Hollywood, Charlize remains insistent that her curves belong on her body, and that "women have to work out what makes them feel comfortable, whether it's about their weight or their clothes." And, while it's not like Charlize's curves are out of control by any means -- she's always looked very slender to me -- it's still refreshing to hear her say that she prefers healthy curves to skin and bone.

Does your kid have an internal locus of control? If so, it's a good thing because kids who have one by age 10 are less likely to be overweight at age 30. They also grow up to be healthier adults and are less likely to describe their health as poor or show high levels of psychological stress. Despite childhood IQ, education, and family income, these tendencies remain.

A locus of control is the extent to which people think they can influence events through their own actions. Each of us has one. It's a natural component of a person's personality and is shaped by childhood experiences and interaction with parents. Those who are shaped to believe they are in charge of their lives have an "internal" locus of control. Those who are not have an "external" locus.

"I think it is quite probable that a major explanation why children with a more internal locus of control behave more healthily as adults is that they have greater confidence in their ability to influence outcomes through their own actions," says Dr. Catharine R. Gale, of the University of Southampton in the UK. They may also have higher self-esteem, which can encourage healthy habits.

We're our own worst enemies. I think most of us are harder on ourselves and our appearances than anyone else is. I know that's how I am. With the exception of my mother (who would prefer I never wear another sweatshirt again), I know I'm more judgmental of my appearance than anyone else.

With a constant stream of media telling us how we should look and a culture fixated on looks over health, it's no wonder we stand in front of our mirrors and criticize. Having confidence in your own abilities is accepted -- even expected -- in today's culture. If you're interviewing for a job, confidence is a quality your interviewer is likely to look for. But confidence in your appearance isn't as widely accepted. In fact, some people think confidence in their appearance will be misconstrued as arrogance -- but that's not the case. Feeling good about yourself, having a positive body image, and being confident in your appearance can elevate your mood and benefit you in many ways.

AOL Body has an article that can help us all feel more comfortable in our own skin. It's high time we stop looking at ourselves with such a critical eye and start being a little more forgiving. Some tips:

Years ago, when I was a slightly chubby pre-pubescent, I met the deaf sister of the friend. She signed 'hello', looked me over and then said something in sign language to my friend that I didn't understand. After a but of prodding, my friend fessed up; 'I didn't want to tell you this, but she said you'd be really pretty if you lost weight.' Ouch, huh? A few years later, I grew tall in a hurry and lost the baby fat--and then some. I was eating pretty sparingly at the time and while I didn't have an eating disorder, I probably wasn't far off. And I'm sure the comment didn't help -- I'm over it now but I have to admit, I sometimes still think about it as I eye myself up in the dressing room mirrors.

A while ago, I asked if it was better to be honestly blunt when it comes to talking about someone's weight. The results were pretty clear -- being blunt is better than being sweet (and fake.) But there are limits. Think about what you're saying -- it can make a lasting impression on someone's self confidence. Here are some tips:

Have fitness questions? Fitz has your answer. Our ThatsFit.com fitness expert -- and now your own virtual personal trainer -- will help you get fit, increase your overall health and do it in a fun way. Drop your questions here in the Comments section below and we'll choose two per week to publish on That's Fit! Learn more about Fitz here.

Q. Hi Fitz! I am 29 year old male and I am thinking about starting a workout routine. However, I don't know where to begin. I have a treadmill and that's it. I am 5'11 and about 160lbs. I don't have a lot of muscle, have a low self esteem towards my body shape and would like to change it. Something simple I can do at home with or without the treadmill would be OK. Any suggestions? Jared

A. Sweet Jared. So sorry you're feeling down in the dumps. Hard to know exactly what is causing it all, but getting yourself in shape can certainly be a grand opportunity to increase your physical fitness, confidence and self esteem. It's proven to help people live better and longer. I can help you with your physical goals. If you feel like there may be something else adding to your low self-esteem, please don't feel shy to talk to your medical doctor or a counselor.

Having said that, it sounds like you are long and lean. What a lucky place to start! Let's get you going with a very simple routine which should get you on your way towards the athletic body you so desire. Make that treadmill your home for at least thirty minutes a day, five days a week. Jog for as long as you can, take a two minute walking break, and then repeat. Continue this jogging/walking training until you can jog for 30 minutes straight. Once you get there....increase your time, distance, speed or all three. Up to you! When you feel like you have bricks in your shoes, just walk! It's OK to have some slower days here and there.

Maybe so! I just got done chatting with the host of TLC's Trading Spaces, which by the way...is a lovely thing to do. Paige is saucy, fun and really very sweet. The type of girl you want to live right next to. I was interviewing Paige for a future Celebrity Fitzness Report and she was totally open and honest.

We talked health, fitness and show business. We also talked a bit about nudity. One of my reader's suggestions was to ask Paige if she'd ever pose in the buff. She didn't say no. In fact, under the 'right circumstances' she would do it. She didn't say she would do it to show off her fantastic figure (which she has) though......

One of my all-time favorite goals in life is to feel good about myself. I want to feel good about my state of mind and the state of my health, about my family and my job. I want to feel at peace about the decisions I make and the manner in which I relate to others. I want to feel upbeat and positive about the curve balls life throws at me. And toward the top of my feel-good list is this: I want to feel good in my skin.

I don't have the magic recipe for achieving all this goodness. But SHAPE magazine offers 25 tips that I might just borrow. Here are 12 of them.

• Find balance
• Show off
• Achieve exercise
• Get sleep
• Find support
• Seek mentors
• Take a break
• Write it down
• Do tell
• Forget envy
• Go positive
• Celebrate success

Christmas party season is here -- it's probably one of the only times each year that you can get all gussied up for a night out on the town. So you want to make sure you feel--and look--your best. Here are some tips on boosting your body image from WebMD:

• Wear your sexiest lingeries under your clothes. Maybe no one will see but you'll feel like a million bucks and it will show.
• Take a day for yourself beforehand to do a whole-body grooming session. Get a mani, a pedi, a wax, the works!
• Put on a touch more make-up than usual.
• Workout hard before -- it's easy to feel confident when you've tackled one of your fitness goals.
  
• Look at old photos of you with friends. It will bring back lots of positive memories.

Pretty much everyone was bullied at some point in their childhood. Whether it was by the dominant kid in a social group who never let anyone else decide what games to play, or the traditional big kid on the playground who terrorized every other child, chances are you've had to deal with some form of bullying when you were little.

Many of us think that all gets left behind when we grow up into confident adults, but unfortunately that's not always the case. Have you ever been to one of your kids' sports matches and seen another parent blow up at a referee? Or perhaps you're a part of the PTA and one of the other parents consistently refuses to listen to your suggestions or ignores you altogether? Maybe you dread going to work every day because a gossipy co-worker tries to belittle you with the information he or she spreads to your fellow workers?

According to this, all of the above constitute adult bullying. Even as a grown-up there are people who will try to boost their own confidence by intimidating others and trying to cut them down. If you think you may be a victim of adult bullying, take a look at the piece for suggestions on how to deal with it. If you know someone at work or in your social circle who is being picked on, stand up for them. Much like when with kids, a bully will often back down if they know that no one else is willing to stand for it.

Loving yourself is so important. Self-esteem is at the root of every experience in your life, and if you lack confidence in yourself, you'll have a hard time achieving your goals and dreams, whatever they may be. So today, take a few moments to work on yours, whether you're dieting or not. Today's guest blogger at Back in the Skinny Jeans recommends a few things, including making a list of 10 things you love about yourself. Here's mine:

• I love my ankles
• I love my (mostly) straight teeth (thanks to the orthodontist)
• I love my tattoos
• I love the freckles on my arm that form an 'M'
• I love the birthmark on my thigh because it's one thing on my body that has remained constant since I was a child
• I love the way I talk with my hands; Until a friend pointed it out recently, I didn't even notice that I have the exact same gestures as my father
• I love my two-toned eyes
• I love my small lips, because they're a sign of my heritage
• I love my inner strength
• I love my resilience; the way I don't let things get me down for long.
  

What do you love about yourself?

I know so many people who will do anything to avoid exercise, whether they're losing weight or not. I don't really understand it -- I love exercise and I'd rather work out lots than have to cut out certain foods, but to each their own, right? I'm glad I love exercise because it is so, so good for you. Here are just some highlights of the ways exercise can improve your life:

• It increases your energy level
• It helps you sleep better
• It reduces tension in both your mind and body
• It improves concentration and decision-making skills
• It boosts self-confidence
• It helps clean waste from your body
• It reduces symptoms of depression and anxiety
• It improves your sex life

It sounds like some sort of snake-oil 'miracle' drug that's being marketed on late-night TV but exercise does all this and more. Since I established a regular routine, I've experienced all of these benefits. For example, I used to be an insomniac, but since I started working out, I haven't had a sleepless night in a year at least. I feel better than ever and I know you will too if you get off the couch and start getting active. So what are you waiting for?