That's Fit

Recently, my son's fourth grade class had been learning about bullying. They've had several continuing lessons on the subject and I think it's a great thing. There are kid-drawn posters all over the school describing exactly what bullying is such as name calling, trying to make another kid feel bad, ganging up on one kid, and being intimidating. It's good for the kids to get specific examples so they know when they're being bullied and also so they know if they are being a bully themselves. I know that my son has fallen on both sides of the spectrum. He used to go to an after-school program where one kid in particular bullied him mercilessly. On the other hand, I've seen him interact with kids on sports teams and at the park and he can be a bit of a bully himself by being bossy and demanding -- but he doesn't realize it until I point it out so he can learn. I think that's the case for most kids when they're young. Sometimes they're bullied and sometimes they become the bully themselves. It's a natural part of learning how to behave socially. And it's up to teachers and parents to help kids learn and to make sure things don't get out of control. But sometimes, like in the case of Billy Wolfe, they do get out of control.

Bethany recently wrote about the case on ParentDish. Billy is a 16-year-old that's been dealing with extreme bullying since he was 12. He's been beaten up (they even have video of it), he's received mean phone calls, and there's even a Facebook site titled "Everyone that hates Billy Wolfe." His parents are finally fed up with the situation and they're suing one of the kids that has been bullying him and they may decide to sue the school district as well.

Do you monitor your kid's internet activities? Although online predators and inappropriate websites abound (as scary as that is), one area some parents are ill-informed about fall in the age-old area of bullying.

We're not talking beating up kids for lunch money, but ridiculing them over email, instant messaging or MySpace pages. It's an emerging problem known as cyberbullying and it's not going anywhere as kids shift more activities online.

Recent estimates put one in three U.S. kids as being victims of cyberbullying, which is not all than unexpected seeing as how so many kids are "plugged in" these days. The only problem is that this kind of bullying is silent and hard to detect.

Cold and flu season is definitely gearing up to be in full swing, but what if you have a nagging suspicion that your child isn't really sick? Health experts say that up to 10% of kids "fake it" at least once over the course of their childhood. CBS News has a few tips to help you decide if your child's illness is real, or if there is something else going on:

Signs of Cold and Flu

• cough -- dry or productive
• runny or stuffy nose
• fever
• red throat
• body aches
• fatigue
• napping

Signs of "Faking It"

• symptoms that don't have staying power
• perking up after the call to school has been made
• vague symptoms that move around the body (but be careful, because sometimes symptoms are vague)

Keep in mind that just because a child isn't really sick doesn't mean that something isn't wrong. Children may be avoiding school for a serious reason, like bullying, anxiety, depression, or high-pressure to succeed. If you find your child is faking on a regular basis, it's time to get to the bottom of the issue.

Bullying was a definite part of my childhood, though other students were either the victim or the perpetrator much more often than I. Even when you try to stay away from it, it affects you -- at least, that's the lesson I learned throughout my school years. Do you agree?

A government official in Britain, Tim Gill, agrees that's it's a part of life, but he goes on to say that it's a necessary part of life -- it prepares children for the hard knocks they'll encounter later in their adult life.

I can see his point -- sort of. But I don't see how tearing someone down over and over again until they have no shred of self-esteem and are on the verge of depression, suicide or worse is constructive later in life. Minor teasing is one thing, but if you ask me, full-on bullying is something that has very little use to someone at any point in their life. What do you think?

Pretty much everyone was bullied at some point in their childhood. Whether it was by the dominant kid in a social group who never let anyone else decide what games to play, or the traditional big kid on the playground who terrorized every other child, chances are you've had to deal with some form of bullying when you were little.

Many of us think that all gets left behind when we grow up into confident adults, but unfortunately that's not always the case. Have you ever been to one of your kids' sports matches and seen another parent blow up at a referee? Or perhaps you're a part of the PTA and one of the other parents consistently refuses to listen to your suggestions or ignores you altogether? Maybe you dread going to work every day because a gossipy co-worker tries to belittle you with the information he or she spreads to your fellow workers?

According to this, all of the above constitute adult bullying. Even as a grown-up there are people who will try to boost their own confidence by intimidating others and trying to cut them down. If you think you may be a victim of adult bullying, take a look at the piece for suggestions on how to deal with it. If you know someone at work or in your social circle who is being picked on, stand up for them. Much like when with kids, a bully will often back down if they know that no one else is willing to stand for it.

Bullying is not a new thing but there has been increased attention in the U.S. since the Columbine shootings and if ignored, it can be devastating. There are different kinds of bullying such as hitting and pushing which is physical bullying, name calling or teasing which is verbal bullying, social exclusions or intimidation which is emotional bullying, and phone or computer messages that are insulting or cyber bullying. Verbal bullying is the most common although boys are more likely to experience physical bullying and girls are more likely to experience social isolation.

Most bullying occurs where there is less adult supervision like school buses, cafeterias, hallways, bathrooms, locker rooms and playgrounds. Schools should have policies in place to deal with bullying and parents should listen closely to their children and report bullying. Some children however will not talk about it for fear of repercussions so some warning signs that parents should look for are unexplained cuts and bruising. Your child seems afraid to ride the bus and has lost interest in schoolwork or other activities at school. Your child may complain of headaches or stomach aches or other physical ailments and might have trouble sleeping or may experience bad dreams while sleeping. These signs are all worth exploring. Share your concerns with your child's teacher because they are the ones that can better observe how your child reacts with other children. If that conversation gets you no where, then make an appointment with the school principle or guidance counselor.

If your child is doing the bullying explain that bullying is a serious problem and that it will not be tolerated. Because bullying often stems from unhappiness or insecurity, try to find out if something is bothering your child. You may also have a greater impact if you express disappointment and not anger toward your child but be stern. Teach your child that they should respect all people no matter how different they are.