
It's been a looky loo week in the world of celebrity fitness, friends. There was lots of heart-pounding working it out that had nothing to do with exercise. Regardless, after an overdose of VMA talk, nudey picture speculation and loaded accusations, I think we're all ready to let the healing begin. Before I hand out the hugs and heart rate monitors, I'll need a few things:
Can I get HOLLA for the premiere of The Biggest Loser, complete with my soulmate and brand newish BFF Jillian Michaels? What is about
a rock solid fitness phenom screaming at folks
to carry big old truck tires that gives me the chills? Sigh. I guess it is not to question, just to inspire me to get out and dismantle my car for a morning workout.
Can I get a do-over for Brit-Brit? Yesssss, the VMA thang was enough to make Lindsay Lohan cringe and hand over some depressants to
this guy (kidding
kidding), but do we really need to have a conversation about her weight in the middle of that dance disaster? People!
She's not fat. She's completely wackadoodle/one the sauce/in need of a big old mama hug/quite possibly all of the above, but the Collector of Ripped Fishnets and Marlboro Lite Cartons
is not starving and is not overweight. So, can we just get back to talking about her extensions and broken acrylic nails now?
Can I get a reality show reunion for Kid Rock and Tommy Lee? The
two had words and fisticuffs at the VMA awards, momentarily giving pause to all those "Fat Brit" flaming bloggers (see above). The only reason this gets a mention at all is that I have a sneaky suspicion this scuffle was a big boost in cardio for the two rockers. Well, at least since they each had their (ahem) days in the sun with Pamela Anderson. Next time add some intervals with handweights, bros and you'll have yourself some real sweat and possibly, find a way to love each other up on national television. I'll totally have Montel and Maury on the phone in like, 30 seconds.
Can I get a round of applause for Brooke Shields? She tells Fitness magazine that
she's committed to an hour of working out everyday. EXCEPT when one of those beautiful babies has done what beautiful babies often do and cry a lot in the night. She gets through, not by doing The Hundred to boost her energy and inspiration, but by downing a bunch of coffee and then crashing for a nap. I love her for taking care of her body, which sometimes calls for a big cup of reality and self-care.
Can I get a towel ovah here for Vanessa Hudgens? The
High School Musical star and recent canceller of many late-night interviews, was
caught working out WITH HER CLOTHES ON! What?! The horrors! Is she even allowed to walk around full-clothed? Someone please use that towel to wipe the triple (and possibly quadruple, apparently) threat's brow?
Can I get a corner of that towel for Natalie Portman? She's busy not making tabloids (which I salute) and possibly, getting her Bikram on. Nat, I somehow knew you were a
centered, yoga-type of lady.