That's Fit

• Women's hormones shift and change throughout their lives. These shifts can physically cause a decreased desire for sex. Lowered progesterone levels is often found in those women who seem to have zero desire for being intimate with their partner. Low testosterone may also be a factor in both men and women whose interest in sex has waned. Instead of taking the rejection personally, where many men often do, seeking a solution is so extraordinarly wise of you to do. Biochemistry makes or breaks libido in men and women. I would recommend that your wife seek advice from a health care professional whose expertise is in this area. I found this link as a nice resource for more information.
• Poor nutrition and fitness can lower one's desire for "romance". A diet high in refined carbohydrates such as foods made with white flour and sugar and are low in fiber, vitamins and minerals essential for optimal health may upset the human "biochemical apple cart"! In order for humans to feel vivacious and alive, we need to consume a diet rich in fresh fruits and veggies, lean protein (vegetarian or animal sources) and most importantly, "good fat", essential for optimal hormonal production and balance. Omega 3 fatty acid sources such as fatty fish, walnuts and flax seeds or oil, consumed daily, can positively effect hormonal balance...plus, side benefits of ingesting Omega 3's are improved heart health, decreased inflammation and elevated moods. Working out, especially resistance exercise, can elevate "youth hormones" naturally. Increasing muscle mass is directly correlated to elevation of testosterone to healthy levels which may help in the "love" department for both men and women.
• Emotional intimacy. As a woman, I can tell you that if I don't have an emotional connection with my partner, my desire for him is just not there. Simply having a "real" conversation with your wife may help. And listen to her....really listen. If you show your wife that you are truly interested in how she thinks and feels, it can be a positive turning point in your relationship. Give it a try. It works...trust me. When my boyfriend asks me how I am, looks me in the eyes and actually responds with words that tells me he cares, my attraction to him increases.

Hopefully w.b.r, my words of "woman's wisdom" will help point you in the right direction. There is no one "magic bullet", regardless of all the spam you might receive expounding upon the benefits of sexual enhancement products! We women are complicated to say the least. But having a partner that will hang in there during the challenging times in a relationship, which for you is now, has potential to present great rewards in the long run!

Best of Luck in Love!

Healthfully Yours,

Laura Lewis, Life Fit Expert for That's Fit!

If you need guidance and motivation in making positive changes in your life, send your questions to "Ask Laura" in the comments section of this post!

Life Fitness is a process of continuous growth: physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Need motivation
and guidance to facilitate positive changes in your life? Ask Life Fit Expert

Dear Laura,

Why do you think, when I am with my boyfriend or even out with my friends that they all try to tempt me to eat things that would blow my diet? It has gotten worse the more weight I lose. Last month I lost ten pounds and was feeling really proud of myself. And then my boyfriend shows up with a 1 pound bag of my favorite candy. He said it was a "reward." My friends also always try to get me to have dessert when we are out to eat. How do I deal with this? And why do you think they are doing it? And what can I do?

Thank you.

D. S., Newark, N.J.

Dear D.S.,

The "sabotage" of your diet program by your friends and loved ones is something that unfortunately happens to many people. Especially when the person losing weight starts looking and feeling more confident.

I really don't believe those who care about you are really conscious of this behavior. What I theorize is that it "rocks" their boat of what is normal in their lives and the comfort level they had before with you is changing as your physical appearance changes as well as your eating habits. Let's face it. Most people really don't want change. Change to many feels threatening, even "good" change as it is not in the realm of their familiarity. So what they end up doing, more than likely originating from a subconscious level, is try to bestow upon you your favorite snacks and treats. Seeing you enjoy them would be, well, familiar. Right?

Action Tip: Be strong, smile and say no thank you. If they say why, you have three choices. One, you tell the truth. "I am on a diet and I really am not going to blow it. I am feeling too good!" Or two, "I really am not that hungry" or three "My stomach is feeling a bit off right now." (yes, I know, it's a white lie but many a well-meaning friend or loved one has been shut down with this last one!).

Then I have another theory about some men who do not want their sweetheart to lose weight. (Guys, I apologize for the stereotype and I know there are many wonderful, loving , supportive men out there, so please know this is not intended to put all men in this category). Could it be possible that the better you look the more threatened they might feel that another may try to woo you away? This my dear, is basic insecurity.

Action Tip: Reassure your man. Tell him you are crazy about him. And smile and keep on keeping on! After all, you are doing this ultimately for you and no one else! For your health and happiness. Stay on the path.

Healthfully Yours,

Life Fit Expert, Laura Lewis

PS To read more about healthy living and relationships check out the AOL Body Relationship site!

Life Fitness is a process of continuous growth: physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Need motivation
and guidance to facilitate positive changes in your life? Ask Life Fit Expert Laura

Dear Laura:

What do you think about fasting? I have been on all sorts of "diet" programs and really can't seem to lose weight. I am thinking about fasting...the kind where you don't eat at all for a few days. Or is there a better alternative?

Signed,

Debbie G., Atlanta, Ga.

Dear Debbie,

When many people think of fasting they might correlate it with not eating any food at all. When in reality there are all sorts of ways that people fast. Heck, I have even heard of the "air" diet. Um, something that I probably wouldn't want to do since I actually enjoy eating!

But here is what I know from personal experience having conducted many workshops on health, fitness and nutrition. People I met who have been on the "metabolic roller coaster" by going for hours without eating and then gorging themselves once a day, end up having slower metabolic rates. Why? Because your body is quite intelligent. If you deprive it of fuel, your body says "Hey...you know, if you are going to starve, I want to survive, so I will slow my metabolic rate down or the rate I burn calories. Cool? Oh, by the way, if you start eating normally again, I will still have a slower metabolism...and you will end up gaining back your weight and more!"

I do like the concept of fasting and "cleansing" or detoxing. But not for long periods of time. I would rather see you go on a "mono diet" for a day, such as eating watermelon all day, for one day only. Your kidneys will ultimately thank you for the cleanse! Oh, if you are diabetic and need to eat a well-balanced diet each and every day, eating watermelon is probably not the best thing to do! I do believe there is something to letting your internal organs rest, such as your liver, kidneys and bowels! They play an integral pary of your health. I usually encourage others, if they are on some sort of self-prescribed food program that they only really need to eat every four to six hours! In that time you may hear a rumbling stomach, but, you know...your stomach may get a chance to "wake up"!! And it will help you not to eat so much in the future if you actually deprive it of being full all the time! What a concept!

Here is what I propose overall. If you want to lose weight, you need to get serious. Serious about your workouts by doing interval training cardiovascularly, 4 to 5 times per week for 15 to 20 minutes at a time. Or by walking or running for at least thirty minutes. I personally love the Eliptical trainer and change up the levels from easy to very difficult like in interval training. Working out with weights three to five times per week will build your muscle, which in turn will crank up your metabolism. Next, eat three balanced meals per day that include lean protein, lots of steamed or fresh green veggies and a few fresh fruits, plus a good complex, nutritious carbohydrate such as lentils or black beans. Oh and let's not forget the "good fat!" Consume olive oil and either flax oil or fish oil/omega 3 fatty acids.They are so good for your overall health, assist in balancing hormones and reducing inflammation. Avoid refined products such as white bread, soft drinks, cookies, chips and more. Like I said previously, if you still have the "hankering" to fast, why not go on a "mono diet" of watermelon all day long? And if you really don't want to eat for an entire day, drink herbal teas with lemon or lime, rest, don't overexert yourself and take it easy!

Do I support starving yourself for days at a time? No. One or two days? Yes. But I really would prefer for you to just eat sensibly, drink plenty of water, throw olive oil on your salad at least once a day and work out! Hope this helps! Most importantly, check with your primary health care provider about not eating and how it might effect you!

Healthfully Yours!

Laura Lewis

Send your questions to me, Laura Lewis for this column! Life fit is all about fitness, nutrition as well as mental, emotional and spiritual issues! I would love to hear from you! LL

Life Fitness is a process of continuous growth: physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Need motivation
and guidance to facilitate positive changes in your life? Ask Life Fit Expert Laura Lewis!

Dear Laura,

I have been married to a wonderful guy for twelve years. We have two children, ages 10 and 7, who take up a lot of my time. I am female, 36 years of age and my problem is, I just don't feel like being romantic with my husband any more. Here's a little bit about me: I could stand to lose about thirty pounds, I am always on a diet, stressed out and don't have time for myself either. I feel as if I have lost the old "me". I really could just take it or leave it when it comes to havng sex. Do you have any suggestions on how to reawaken the passion that used to be a part of me but is nowhere to be found now?

Signed,

Tired and Passionless

Dear Tired,

Not being in the "mood" for romance is a common problem with many couples. Although the frequency of how often couples engage in romantic actitivites varies from couple to couple, the important aspect is that both partners agree on how much is "enough" and "not enough". I have a few ideas for you that may boost your interest in having more "sexy time" with your hubby.

Life Fitness is a process of continuous growth: physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Need motivation
and guidance to facilitate positive changes in your life? Ask Life Fit Expert Laura Lewis!

Dear Laura:

I am a 45 year old male and about a month ago I decided to really get serious about working out and eating a healthy diet. I started out about forty pounds overweight and have lost fifteen pounds so far. So, I am feeling really great regarding my progress. But I have a problem. My wife and my teenage daughter, who are both at least fifty pounds overweight could care less about getting healthy. They eat all sorts of junk food, fast food, chips, candy and drink several soft drinks every day. Since I love them both and would like to see them both become healthier and more fit, I have tried to convince them to workout and eat better but without success. Do you have any suggestions for me? Oh and by the way, Type II diabetes runs in my wife's family.

-"Frustrated but Getting Fit"

Dear "Frustrated",

First of all, congratulations on your progress. You have obviously made a commitment to yourself on taking the steps necessary to what I call living a "fit life". To become so dedicated you have to not only experience a mental shift from the old way of thinking to a new way of thinking, but also make a "heart felt" shift too. What I mean is you really must feel in your heart and soul the desire to move in this new direction. And it sounds as if you really have made that shift.