Overcoming My Fear of the Gym

Great news: I signed up for the gym! For those of you who have been reading my struggle to get my eating and moving habits back on track, you know that this is a big -- no, huge -- accomplishment.

I've got an unnatural fear of the gym. Maybe it's due to the fact that I was always picked last in phys ed, but I've convinced myself that other people will sense that I'm a fitness imposter. Which is completely untrue. Just like massage therapists and doctors, trainers are employed to see how your body moves the right way. They are also there to tell us what we are doing wrong. "Sure, I notice people's fitness levels," said a friend, who is a spin instructor at Crunch in New York City. But he insists: "For me, helping people look and feel good is all about being a better person."

Although I personally love to be pushed and corrected by a pro, it's the other gym-goers that I'm really hesitant about. I'm pretty sure that they may prefer to be surrounded by able-bodied fitness devotees and not people like me who have been told their whole lives that they are not athletic. (True story: I was asked to leave the tennis program and pursue something that required less coordination as a child)

So in my hunt for a gym, I looked for a quiet no-name spot with clean machines and less than 80 members. There are no showers or locker rooms, which means there's no pressure to get undressed or hang out unless it is to do exercise. There are also a few classes a week. One is Pilates -- my favorite -- so I'm pumped that I'll have something that makes me feel comfortable. The other is a much-needed, high-intensity boot camp. I'm sure it will be a toughie, but if I stay in the back, maybe the only one who will notice when I'm messing up is the one I want to notice -- the teacher.

On the eating plan front, I'm still sticking to the whole foods plan. I have found that prepping winter veggies isn't as time consuming or complicated as I once though. And Husband has been enjoying my experimenting with them for dinner throughout the week. I've cut down my pasta meals to once every two weeks, and I've swapped out tomato sauce for a mix of sauteed greens (spinach, broccoli rabe and asparagus). But most importantly, I've seriously curbed my alcohol intake. Who needs those empty calories and sugars? Not me! Instead of having a glass of wine before, during and after dinner, I have only one, if that, and only when I'm out with friends. There's no more toasting because I made dinner or chose a healthy alternative for takeout. Today, I celebrate myself by feeling and looking better.