My Life Doesn't Revolve Around Food

Have you ever realized how much we integrate food into our lives?

While I've been trying to focus on eating only when I'm hungry and stopping when I'm full, I've really come to realize how much everything we do revolves around food. If you stop and think about it, you'll realize it, too.

Birthdays. Much time is spent finding the right birthday cake. We often celebrate birthdays by going out to eat at a favorite restaurant. On your birthday, you might indulge with that favorite food or dessert because it's your birthday and you deserve it!

Holidays. Valentine's Day is coming up. One of the top gifts for Valentine's Day is food. Chocolates, cakes, chocolate-covered strawberries, candy. And what do you do for Valentine's Day? You go out to eat! At least in my family, Christmas and Thanksgiving are huge family gatherings with enormous meals. Independence Day and Memorial Day are chances to grill outside and have homemade ice cream.

Special events. Somebody's last day at work? Let's take him out to lunch. Having a baby? Let's eat! Just got that promotion? Just graduated? Let's have a party! The parties I've been to have all been focused on food. We can't just get together and play games or watch a movie, we have to have food and lots of it.

Vacations. Have you ever been on a cruise? There is so much food there I'm surprised the boat can stay afloat. When you plan a vacation, how much time is spent on deciding where to eat? If you're like me, quite a bit of time is spent on that. I've taken quite a few business trips to England over the years, and what do we talk about when we reminisce about those trips? The food, the restaurants, the crazy desserts that we never would get normally but because we're out of town (and on an expense report), the sky's the limit!

This is just the tip of the iceberg. I'm sure you can think of many more if you actually sat down and gave it some thought. And when food encircles so many different aspects of your life, it's hard to make lasting changes. Plus, you have to think about other people and their feelings.

What do I mean by that? When my grandparents were alive, I'd go over to visit them, and my grandmother would always have a cake or pie made and sitting on table. She didn't even know I was coming over, but somehow she always had food ready. It was amazing. And these weren't just run-of-the-mill cake mixes that I'm talking about, either. "Come in," she'd say. "You look hungry. Have some cake."

The hard part about eating only when you're hungry is actually realizing when you're hungry. Just looking at that cake would start my stomach growling. My mouth is watering as I type this. Would saying no hurt my grandmother's feelings? I don't know, probably not, but I imagined it would. And truth be told, I looked forward to going over and seeing what new treat she had waiting for me.

Let's say you come home from work and your wife has made a fantastic meal for dinner. But you're not hungry, not even a little bit. So do you hurt your wife's feelings and say that you're not hungry, or do you sit down and have a plate? I know what I would do. Happy wife, happy life. The real answer is probably to take smaller portions and engage in conversation so that you slow down and don't eat as much. Luckily my wife and I are working on this "eating when you're hungry" thing together, so we understand each other.

As I get better and better at this, I think it will start to even out. And I can plan ahead, too. For example, we're going over to a friend's house Sunday evening for a Bible study and meal. If I can eat a lighter lunch, I should be hungry by the time dinner rolls around. That way I can eat dinner because I'm hungry for it and not have to worry about hurting anyone's feelings. Plus, if you don't eat at things like that, then you get the Questions. You know the Questions. "Is everything alright?" "Are you OK?" "Why aren't you eating?" The real answer seems so unbelievable, doesn't it? "I'm not hungry." "So. What does being hungry have to do with it?"

But as the pounds come off and people start to see a difference, maybe they'll start to understand. Maybe they'll figure I'm on to something. Maybe moderation is a good idea after all.

I'd like to take a minute here and say a thank you to Katie. She's been my editor for these articles here at That's Fit since I started last summer. She's been giving me very valuable advice and feedback and has been a very helpful part of my weight loss journey. She's leaving That's Fit to focus on other projects, but I just wanted to publicly thank her for her help with these articles. She'll be missed!

Hopefully someone took her out to lunch on her last day ...


After decades of dieting only to gain it back, two That's Fit readers have decided to finally rethink their relationship with food and exercise over the next year to move toward a lifetime of fulfilling, healthy living. Come by every week as Ashley and Lee share their successes and challenges as they tip the scale.