Lessons From the Twinkie Diet

I guess it would be irresponsible not to make a comment on a recent news story that has everyone buzzing: The Twinkie Diet.

If you've had your TV off in the past few weeks, here's what happened: An overweight professor of nutrition at Kansas State University went on a junk food diet for two months and lost 27 pounds.

His diet consisted of mostly Twinkies, with a smattering of Little Debbies, Doritos, sugary cereals, Oreo cookies. So as not to set too bad an example in front of his kids, he also ate a small amount of canned vegetables at family dinners and a daily protein shake.

The fact that he lost weight isn't really the part that's puzzling. You can lose weight on any low-calorie diet, and you can also lose weight mainstreaming methamphetamine.

What's surprising is that some of the things your doctor measures and that are considered indicators of good health -- i.e. cholesterol and triglycerides-also improved. His "bad" cholesterol dropped 20 percent and his "good" cholesterol" went up by the same amount.

(And no, let's not have the cholesterol discussion right now.)

So basically, what the guy proved is that you can lose weight eating a diet that consists mainly of sugar, partially hydrogenated vegetable oil (trans-fats), more artificial flavoring and coloring than I can list here, and the other 37 ingredients that make up a Twinkie. Plus whatever is in Dorritos and Little Debbies.

The take home point -- at least according to this professor -- is that the most important thing in weight loss is calories.

Well, maybe. (Though a fair amount of compelling evidence exists to show that calories are not the whole picture, even when it comes to weight. But I digress.)

By the way, this isn't the first time that someone went on one of these cockamamie experiments. A few years ago a very interesting fellow I know named Chazz Weaver went on an all-McDonald's all-the-time diet as his way of rebutting the conclusions of the popular film, "Super Size Me."

And it's true, after 30 days, Chazz looked great. But Chazz is a committed bodybuilder who put in about 2 hours a day of incredibly hard training. I'm not sure his being able to look great after eating 30 days of crap really proves much, but you be the judge: he made a film about the experiment called "DownSize Me.")

The point is that you can lose weight (or stay slim) on Twinkies, McDonald's or, like many models in the 90's did, on cocaine, aspirin, coffee and one stalk of asparagus. So what?

When are we going to realize that losing weight isn't the only way we should measure the success of these idiotic diets?

The puzzling part about the Twinkie Diet experiment is that the good professor saw his cholesterol numbers (and triglyceride numbers) change for the better. Putting aside my view that cholesterol is a much-overrated measurement that tells us very little, the fact is that weight loss -- no matter how you do it -- always improves those numbers.

But health is not measured simply by cholesterol numbers or even triglyceride numbers and certainly isn't measured by the number of pounds you lose. (Ask anyone who was in the concentration camps.)

If there's any take-home point to this silly story at all, it's probably to emphasize the fact that calories do count (though they are not the whole story, as the "Twinkie Diet" professor and other mainstream nutritionists would have us believe).

That doesn't mean I want to spend those calories exclusively on Ho Hos.

Long-range health and vitality can't be measured by what your cholesterol numbers did over the course of 30 days. Or by the fact that you are thin (are you listening, Kate Moss?)

In fact, the whole "Twinkie Diet" episode brings to mind one of my favorite old sayings:

"If you run through a dynamite factory with a lighted match and manage to get out the other side, that doesn't mean you're not an idiot."

Jonny Bowden, author, nutritionist and weight loss coach, cuts through all the misconceptions about diet and fitness to help you transform your body, your health and your life. Visit his website to learn more or follow him on twitter at twitter.com/jonnybowden.


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