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The Power of Words
Posted on Dec 9th 2009 12:00PM by Karla Carrington
Death and life are in the power of the tongue -- Proverbs 18:21a. But for me, so are thin and fat.
I saw a cousin that I hadn't seen in eight years at a funeral. Once he realized that it was me, his ex-fatty-now-thinner cousin, the strange look suddenly turned familiar. So familiar in fact, immediately after his tongue said "what up cuz?. You look good." He had to follow it up with, "but your face is too thin." Damn. The tongue was doing so well, but in true hater fashion, the "but" squashed all that preceded it.
I just smiled because I've never heard him say anything nice in 40 years. I took this tongue wagging with a grain of salt. I figure once he's been out of rehab for more than a week and his head starts to clear, he'll see the truth. It was a funeral so I graciously moved on to the casket opting to spend time with the forever silenced tongue of my aunt, his grandmother, who also never said anything good.
I have a girlfriend named Patty. She's a true Brooklyn girl who carries the truth on her tongue at all times and wouldn't dare mince words to water down the truth. Recently one Monday morning, Patty said, "wow, your face is looking a bit thin." She didn't say it in a malicious way but in her own Brooklyn-born, matter of fact way. Although Patty is not related to me by blood as my cousin is, her words weighed much heavier. His words came from the tongue of a hater, Patty's tongue is that of one who loves me.
Two "too thins in the face" was more than I could stand. My worst nightmare is to have worked so hard to get fit and look good but instead, not look good, or even worse, to look worse. Unbeknownst, to them, the power of their words sent me into an eating frenzy. I stopped exercising and gave little thought to the things I was eating.
I am sure their intentions were pure, or at least Patty's were. However, I blame myself for the downfall because of my jaded response. Having picked myself up and gotten back on track, I'm turning my inner volume up and outer volumes down. When I look in the mirror, I don't see too thin, nor do I see too fat. I see me trying. I see me living a fuller life and being happy with who I am and how far I've come. Surely what I see with my own eyes outweighs the tongues of others. So am I too thin, too fat, what? The answer to that question is, I'm just me and I'm okay with that.
