By Mary Kearl
AOL Health: In your book you list some "fat-girl" beliefs that made you feel bad about yourself for being overweight. What are they?
Reid: I was apologetic for existing, for taking up so much space. I saw my whole life through my fat [blinders]. I'd walk into a meeting and think people were making judgments about me. As visible as I was, I felt invisible too -- that I was inferior to people who were skinnier than me. I was an extreme case. But some of the feedback I've gotten from the book is that I'm not alone in this.
Photos: Shauna on her 21st birthday, weight: 310 lbs (Left); In 2005, Shauna trying on her old size 26 jeans, weight: 189 lbs (Right).
Courtesy of Shauna Reid
AOL Health: Can you describe some of the guilt and anxieties you had as you were gaining weight and topping out at 351 pounds? Do you still feel that way?
Reid: I think for me, it was feeling out of control, like I was watching my life happening to me, like I'd built this prison of fat. I couldn't do things my friends took for granted -- walking, going out at night, clubbing. I felt like it was hopeless. I would look at my body in the mirror and say "What have you done?" I thought that fat was my most defining characteristic.
Photo: Shauna, 20-years-old at her graduation, weight: 310 lbs.
Courtesy of Shauna Reid
AOL Health: What was your relationship with food like when you were at your lowest point and highest body weight?
Reid: It was an all-consuming relationship, me and food. It was a kind of chicken-and-egg thing. I don't know which came first, the weight or the depression. Food was everything to me in some ways. Because I felt antisocial because of my size, shopping for food was something I looked forward to and something that took over my life.
Photo: Shauna, age 23 at her sister's graduation, weight: 351 lbs.
Courtesy of Shauna Reid
AOL Health: How has your relationship with food changed?
Reid: Basically, getting a life helped. When I started going to the gym, I stopped letting my weight dictate everything I did. I had a life, and so I didn't need to binge to feel good anymore. I'm still passionate about food. I love cooking, but I love planning healthy meals.
Photo: Shauna reaches her goal of losing half her body mass, weight: 175 lbs.
Courtesy of Shauna Reid
AOL Health: As you started to lose weight, did it become easier to ditch your "fat girl" beliefs?
Reid: You kind of have this hope that you'll lose the weight and this amazing person will emerge, but really you're just a smaller version of who you were. For me, it was exercising that really turned me around. I remember when I was still over 300 pounds and I decided to take a weight-lifting class at the gym. I was scared. But I was lifting the weights, and I was really quite good at it because the size of my thighs helped me do squats. I thought, "Wow I can do stuff, I'm not a useless lump of lard." I felt capable. I felt more bold and adventurous. I wanted to try new things. It was more the stuff I was doing that gave me this boost.
Photo: Shauna trying on her old size 26 jeans, weight: 189 lbs.
Courtesy of Shauna Reid
AOL Health: Which posed more of a challenge, adopting a healthy lifestyle or being happy in your own skin?
Reid: Definitely being happy in my own skin. To an extent, you can follow the rules -- you can follow a diet or instructions at a gym class. Being fundamentally happy -- only you can do that. For me that was the hardest thing. I would get these little boosts of confidence from the scales going down, but it's hard work to get over.
Photo: Shauna at her wedding in 2005, weight: 196 lbs.
Courtesy of Shauna Reid
AOL Health: In the book you describe a lot of secret eating, bingeing and gorging -- do you ever sneak and eat now?
Reid: It's funny, when I'm feeling down it goes on autopilot, heading to the fridge like a zombie, and before you know it you're looking down at an empty wrapper. I still do it, but now the portions are so much smaller. The way I learned to [eat this way] was by savoring it -- rather than scarfing it at my desk, to appreciate it and taste it properly. It took years to learn to do that.
Photo: Shauna at a wedding party in 2005, weight: 189 lbs.
Courtesy of Shauna Reid
AOL Health: How has blogging about your diet experiences helped you lose weight?
Reid: Before, I would never tell anyone that I was on a diet. When I started writing about it, it was the first time I was actually getting it down and publishing what my actual goals were. I started with about three readers, and then eventually there were hundreds of readers. In the early days, it was mostly people who Googled "weight loss stories" and like me, were looking to hear how real people were doing it. Word of mouth spread and the rest followed. Just sharing it made me think, "I'm not a freak." Hanging around mates online, it normalizes it. I'm always reading other blogs -- getting new ideas for exercises to try and recipes to try.
Photo: The cover of the UK edition of the published format of her blog.
Courtesy of Shauna Reid
AOL Health: What would you say to people who are struggling with their own body images and weight loss?
Reid: I know it's clichéd, but just try to appreciate yourself for who you are now. Work with what you've got. I'm never going to have skinny hips, but I dress the way that's flattering to me. I know I'm never going to be a runner because I'm hopeless at running, but I try other things. Deciding to do what makes you feel good, that will help you rebuild your self-esteem.
Photo: Shauna in 2007, weight: 175 lbs.
Courtesy of Shauna Reid
AOL Health: What were some of the weight-loss struggles you faced when the honeymoon period of your dieting ended? How did you overcome them?
Reid: Probably boredom. Since I had so much to lose, I'd think, "I'm just sick of this." I guess complacency, too, because I thought, "I know what I'm doing, yeah it'll keep coming off every week." But I had this kind of list of why I was doing this, and I would read it to myself to remind myself. I would also pick a new goal, like doing a 5k race.
Photo: Biking with her husband in NYC in 2007.
Courtesy of Shauna Reid
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 2)
Natasha 10-23-2009 @ 5:07PM
This was a good story! Congrats for losing so much weight....now if only the people who were praising the bariatric patients for their indiscipline and inability to do the right thing would read this...then the world would be a better place. You look great and glad to hear you learned to control your eating and it the right way - I am sure you appreciate the value of a calorie.
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Lori 10-26-2009 @ 7:46AM
Shame on you for thinking that people who have the bariatric surgery have it easy!!!!!! When did you take the easy way out and have life threatening major surgery to lose weight?! You have to follow every rule and regimen before and after you have that surgery and if you have been overweight your entire life....let me tell you it is NO EASY WAY OUT!!! You must only consume liquids for several months after surgery...you must exercize daily, you have to measure and keep track of everything you put in your mouth and if you screw up....guess what? You PUKE your guts out and it is very painful post surgery to vomit.....spoken from experience. This is a wonderful story, it truly is but don't talk like having the bariatric surgery is some sort of miracle because it is NOT by far. I lost 180 20 years ago with bariatric surgery and have shamefully gained back every pound and then some. I would never do that surgery again, too painful, risky and it is NOT easy by any means!
Rachel @ Shedding It 10-23-2009 @ 7:10PM
Hers is an amazing story, but that's a really poor headline. She's healthier now, but she was still beautiful and completely worth of love before!
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B.london 10-26-2009 @ 4:03AM
Actually your right , what a poor headline
watch all saw movies 10-24-2009 @ 9:30AM
Wow thats amazing.. she was fat! lol
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Lobster Loverf 10-25-2009 @ 6:20PM
Why doesnt your screenname surprise me? You moron. Your comment, Wow she was fat! lol! says it all
She lost the weight, you will be stupid the rest of your life.
tony 10-25-2009 @ 2:12PM
Wonderfully executed product placement advertisement!
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LittleAl 10-25-2009 @ 2:20PM
Uh... I know plenty of morbidly obese women who have boyfriends and lots and lots of sex. What a retarded and offensive article --- coming from a HWP individual, let me just say that the fact that this was posted here disgusts me.
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Franksfoil 10-25-2009 @ 10:49PM
Hear, Hear! Big girls are not hurting for guys. It's a matter of whether you are going to go out and put yourself out there with confidence. Don't let the odd comment affect you as the same guys are making remarks about others based on whatever they think is wrong with everybody else, as well. Those are usually the guys involved with their own little bromance and they usually go home by themselves.
Kira 10-26-2009 @ 12:36AM
I agree 100% I myself and a bigger sized girl and I didn't have to lose weight to find a man. I was a size 16 jean when I met and married my husband. Sounds to me if anyone is shallow its her and her boyfriend. Would he still be with her if she was still fat? Guess what, you dont have to lose 150 pounds to find the love of your life. If its meant to be they will love you and think you are beautiful no matter how you look. I mean obviously her boyfriend likes her even tho shes a butterface...just like my husband still loves me even tho I am considered fat.
mebobafett 10-25-2009 @ 3:37PM
[She] proudly declares: "I'm never going to go back to how I was."
Statistically, she will probably eat those words (pun intended). Some studies show up to 95% (!) regain their weight back at some point. Fluff like this is OK, but show how people lose weight and keep it off. Or is diet, discipline and exercise a boring story?...
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LIZ 10-25-2009 @ 3:54PM
she's not model thin yet. and her boyfriend is terribly ugly. ugg. i think she should lose him and go back to the gym- lose more weight and pick up a hot gym-rat. ;)~~~
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cyndi 10-25-2009 @ 8:45PM
Who wants to be model thin? They weigh about 5 lbs, and are anorexic. Size 0 does NOT look good, and is not realistic. And who cares what YOU think about her boyfriend? As long as she loves him, that's all that counts. You sound shallow as he**.
Rachel @ Shedding It 10-26-2009 @ 9:53AM
What is wrong with you?! How rude.
cathy 10-25-2009 @ 4:29PM
I hope she can keep it off. Most people who lose weight gain it all back (plus extra) in a few years. Unfortunately, diet and exercise only work to a certain point. Eventually you have to eat even less and exercise even more because your body gets used to it. If you don't, the weight comes back with a vengeance. It's tough, I've been there.
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Cynthia 10-25-2009 @ 5:31PM
Bravo ..you go girls !
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Lynne 10-25-2009 @ 6:08PM
She was doing so well, why did she go ruin it by getting a boyfriend??
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Pa 10-25-2009 @ 8:39PM
She found someone to love, and show her the respect she deserves. Your comment makes light on her situation. You should be ashamed of yourself.
Geoff 10-25-2009 @ 6:37PM
I personally think she looks pretty hot. Way to go girl :)
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carriemccm79 10-25-2009 @ 6:53PM
I have struggled with weight for my whole life and finally have a grip on it after 30 years of suffering from diet-itis!! It really helps to know what you are doing and you don't have to work nearly as hard when you do. Go to this site cli.gs/lifechangingweightloss It was recommended to me by a friend and it really changed my thinking and helped me turn the tide and finally lose weight and keep it off without the constant struggle and fluctuations. I have lost over 50 lbs and kept it off. I finally have enough energy to keep up with my children. Best of luck to every one of you who knows what it is like to struggle to lose weight...hope this makes your life easier!!
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