Fit for Love

by Karla Carrington (Subscribe to Karla Carrington's posts)
Aug 21st 2009 3:00PM

Categories: The Good, The Fat and The Hungry, Diet & Weight Loss, Nutrition & Supplements

Photo: sxc.hu

I met a guy! Not just any guy, but a guy who could eventually "be" something. From one professional to another, he has real potential. As most women do, I had to compare him to my "He Must Have" check list. I'm happy to say that he stacks up pretty well.

He's self employed, very attractive and although a bit rough around the edges, he is a gentleman. He makes me laugh and can even laugh at himself. Oddly enough, he is not bothered by my quiet moods and that is huge for me. There are times when I don't want to hear a sound, nor do I make one, and that can be a bit unnerving when you're accustomed to me being Chatty Cathy, but he doesn't mind one bit.

It's still very early on, so I'm not making any bets. Quite simply, I like him (sigh). But wait just one minute before you ask about the registry. Although I like him and enjoy his company, I hate his diet. Shortly after we met, we were on the phone and he asked me to hold briefly. As I am holding, I heard him order a double cheeseburger with extra bacon. I almost gagged thinking how many calories that was. Hoping that first incident was a fluke, I promised to keep a gentle watch to see if his poor eating was habit. Well, hell yeah, it is, and I am completely disgusted! This guy eats whatever, whenever, and however -- and he's not even fat! I have on more than one occasion looked at his plate only to wonder where he puts it all. Is he still just a growing boy?

Look, I love love. Nobody loves love nor the concept of love more than me. These single years have been precious to me and although I'm not chomping at the bit for a mate, I am open to it. But can I love and live with someone with a life devoid of good diet and exercise? Sure, some folks say that may be a small difference to separate us but knowing my fight to stay fit, in no way is it small to me.

In my mind, it's the equivalent of dating an addict while I'm in recovery. I'm not saying that he's a food addict, but I am saying that I am. The challenge would be who is the biggest influence. Often, in my own personal struggle, I am able to resist negative urges, but add a sexy man feeding me mashed potatoes with extra gravy and I just go Ga-Ga. I'd be fat again before things even get hot! I don't want to broach the subject prematurely, but is there ever a good time to say I can't date you because your eating sucks? How long do I wait before I tell him that I'm afraid to eat with him for fear of his arteries popping out and running down the street because of abuse? Should I wait months before I tell him that his couch potato-ness is a turn off? Or do I simply keep it moving and find a guy who wants to move too?

Signed,

Still waiting to exhale.

Are your partner's eating habits driving you crazy? AOL Health helps you navigate the troubled waters.

Comments (7)

Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)

deadharbor 8-21-2009 @ 3:52PM

Aw ... Karla. I was going to tell you to just let him be a normal guy and not impose your fitness standards on him until I read your reasons.

I say give him and most importantly yourself a chance. Be confident in your ability to stay focused. Good luck!

Carolyn 8-22-2009 @ 7:57AM

Karla,

My advice is to be open and honest. "I do not have the right to tell you how to eat, but I am trying my hardest to make the right choices. I would appreciate if when you are around me you avoid some of my trigger food [then tell him what they are]." Then tell him that because you could trust him enough to tell him this, you know he'll take it seriously. Then when he does choose veggies over nachos thank him for his consideration.

If he is a good guy he'll be okay with this. If he's just not that into you he'll eat like a pig and not care.

u262f 8-22-2009 @ 9:38AM

Good luck, Karla, and be strong! If you've just met him and feel the need to change him already, there is probably somebody better out there for you. Also, underneath our self-proclaimed "personality", we human beings are also a bag of biological chemicals. If people's eating habits change, other aspects of them might change as well.

Troy 8-22-2009 @ 11:20AM

Good luck Karla, u262f write true !

Benoit - Webmaster : http://www.forumados.fr/

Chikichan 8-23-2009 @ 10:38PM

Karla, don't give up before you try. Expose him to the world of healthy eating and fitness by giving your shiny example of healthy lifestyle and suggesting sites, book, events, restaurants that are healthy. He may end up being so grateful to you. It did happen to my boyfriend. Don't give up, be nice to him and respect him. He will see a new world through your eye, a beautiful world, where spending on medicine and doctors is saved and used for romantic dates instead (great healthy restaurants or picnics and lots of sports included). If you make him love you so much, he'll gladly change his eating habits just to be able to be up to your standard.

Stephanie 8-24-2009 @ 11:39AM

Oh, babe, that's so tough. I was already married before I started down my healthy lifestyle, and while I ADORE my husband, he doesn't have much initiative to eat healthy and exercise like I do. And at times, his laziness wears off of me, and we eat pizza instead of grilled chicken and veggies.

Don't shun him just yet, he may not have seen the light yet! Offer to cook for him, and cook something healthy. Slip into conversation how much you love eating food that makes you feel good. Have exercise dates!! You just might influence him to be a better person!

But if he continues to resist you, you may have to broach the topic of your lifestyle together. Love is grand, but you have to be happy!! Getting into a relationship that's a constant struggle as you attempt to avoid eating the way he does sounds so stressful!

I know whatever decision you make will be the right one!

Karla Carrington 8-24-2009 @ 11:45PM

It's funny how so many comments all said the same thing!!! I don't normally get 2 people to agree so 5 or 6 is unheard of. I thank you all and will follow your advice---I'll give him a chance and stay focused on my fitness goal. Time will tell how it will play out...of course, I'll keep you all posted! "-) --Karla