Photo: float, sxc.hu

Four weeks into Weight Watchers and everything is perfect -- my journaling is exact, I'm making all the right eating choices, I've never gone over my points limit and I've reached my goal already. So take that last 20 pounds! OK, so all those things really do apply, in a perfect world.

Here's what's going on in my real world: Four weeks into Weight Watchers, and I've attended three out of four meetings, still eating right up to the points limit and borrowing as needed from other days. I journal on occasion and have gained as much as I've lost. I was down 2.2 pounds and back up 1.1 pounds.

No doubt, I am only enjoying half of the benefits of the program because I'm only halfway trying. I can't lie ya'll, I like to eat. And for as many posts that I write with tricks, tips, pointers and expert advice, I don't always do the things that I should. I can hear experts, trainers and nutritionists in my head saying, "Karla, you don't have to deprive yourself, you can enjoy -- in moderation." A single Nutter Butter cookie never brought me no joy. I need at least two to crack a smile and at least three to show some teeth -- four and I'm bordering on elation. Some days, I just can't talk myself down. I try to gauge when I'm weakest and when I'm strongest, but then I get nervous because I can't identify and well, I need a snack to think it over.

I'm only human. I make no excuses, and I take full responsibility for all the wrong I've eaten. On a much lighter note, my exercise routine has not waned. I've continued faithfully with my trainer and am working hard. I've graduated to male push ups and various other exercises that months ago were only a dream. All of this is in preparation for the big day, August 1st.

I've got an upcoming date with Tony Horton's P90X extreme fitness program. I'm excited about it and am expecting great results. However, P90X also includes its own nutrition plan so although Weight Watchers may be on the shelf for now, there's no running from good nutrition. Tony Horton stresses the signifcance of proper eating as it relates to building muscle mass and removing fat. There's no way around it, exercise and diet go hand in hand. Lastly, it all boils down to me really wanting the body that I say I want and the willingness to work hard for it. I understand that I will need to right the wrong that I've allowed to remain a staple of my diet. I have no choice. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know--Nutter Butter's in moderation. Right. <sigh>