Image is Something - But What?

Welcome to the Good, the Fat and the Hungry. I'm Karla and I have been -- or am -- all those things. Here, I will share with you my lifelong struggle with my weight, and I hope you'll follow along on with my determined attempt to lose the last 40 pounds. I promise to tell you every Wednesday about every win and setback along the way.

A mind is a terrible thing to waste -- especially on thoughts that don't promote or propel you. At times, my thoughts about my body image are downright destructive. Image is defined as a mental representation, idea, conception. If that's the definition, then somehow, my mental representation, idea or concept of how I look has become jaded.

Three surgeries in three years have given me greater issues about my look. I've swapped scars for excess skin removal, I've swapped morbid obesity for normalcy and through it all, my perception has not changed very much. There are times when I still see the same fat girl.

I feel like a million bucks, when I am dressed. The moment I disrobe, my ego sounds like Pac Man, and he's just been captured. I think positive thoughts and remind myself of how far I've come, but in an instant, I'm sulking as if I've never lost a pound. I feel pretty sure the feelings I experience about my image are born in my fears of re-gaining weight. I've been a victim of self-sabotage in so many ways but have tried to suppress old behaviors to give my weight loss a happy ending. As with most things, I began searching for ways to improve my image and approach my expectations realistically. My research reveals that I am not alone. Many women have the same thoughts about themselves and their appearances, some justified; others not. Fortunately, I found a wonderful book that has helped turn things around for me, "Bodylove: Learning to Like Our Looks and Ourselves -- A Practical Guide for Women."

Following are some helpful tips from Dr. Rita Freedman, the author of this wonderful book, which really has helped me separate what is true and false in my self perception. This book encouraged me to wade through the wasteland of my thoughts, throw away the negative feelings that have no benefit and focus on positive self talk that motivates and spurs me into action.

• Listen to your body. Eat when you are hungry.
• Be realistic about the size you are likely to be based on your genetic and environmental history.
• Exercise regularly in an enjoyable way, regardless of size.
• Expect normal weekly and monthly changes in weight and shape.
• Work towards self acceptance and self forgiveness -- be gentle with yourself.
• Ask for support and encouragement from friends and family when life is stressful.
• Decide how you wish to spend your energy -- pursuing the perfect body image or enjoying family, friends, school and, most important, life.
  

Think of it as the three A's:

• Attention. Listen for and respond to internal cues (i.e., hunger, satiety, fatigue).
• Appreciation. Appreciate the pleasures your body can provide.
• Acceptance. Accept what is, instead of longing for what is not.

This book has been a great tool for re-establishing my faith in fitness and the pursuit of good health. My old thoughts held a negative image of myself. However at 400 pounds, many of those thoughts were true. Those old thoughts have no place in the new me. Image is important, but it's nothing if it's not the truth.