Image is Something - But What?
Categories: The Good, The Fat and The Hungry, Motivation
A mind is a terrible thing to waste -- especially on thoughts that don't promote or propel you. At times, my thoughts about my body image are downright destructive. Image is defined as a mental representation, idea, conception. If that's the definition, then somehow, my mental representation, idea or concept of how I look has become jaded.
Three surgeries in three years have given me greater issues about my look. I've swapped scars for excess skin removal, I've swapped morbid obesity for normalcy and through it all, my perception has not changed very much. There are times when I still see the same fat girl.
I feel like a million bucks, when I am dressed. The moment I disrobe, my ego sounds like Pac Man, and he's just been captured. I think positive thoughts and remind myself of how far I've come, but in an instant, I'm sulking as if I've never lost a pound. I feel pretty sure the feelings I experience about my image are born in my fears of re-gaining weight. I've been a victim of self-sabotage in so many ways but have tried to suppress old behaviors to give my weight loss a happy ending. As with most things, I began searching for ways to improve my image and approach my expectations realistically. My research reveals that I am not alone. Many women have the same thoughts about themselves and their appearances, some justified; others not. Fortunately, I found a wonderful book that has helped turn things around for me, "Bodylove: Learning to Like Our Looks and Ourselves -- A Practical Guide for Women."
Following are some helpful tips from Dr. Rita Freedman, the author of this wonderful book, which really has helped me separate what is true and false in my self perception. This book encouraged me to wade through the wasteland of my thoughts, throw away the negative feelings that have no benefit and focus on positive self talk that motivates and spurs me into action.
- Listen to your body. Eat when you are hungry.
- Be realistic about the size you are likely to be based on your genetic and environmental history.
- Exercise regularly in an enjoyable way, regardless of size.
- Expect normal weekly and monthly changes in weight and shape.
- Work towards self acceptance and self forgiveness -- be gentle with yourself.
- Ask for support and encouragement from friends and family when life is stressful.
- Decide how you wish to spend your energy -- pursuing the perfect body image or enjoying family, friends, school and, most important, life.
Think of it as the three A's:
- Attention. Listen for and respond to internal cues (i.e., hunger, satiety, fatigue).
- Appreciation. Appreciate the pleasures your body can provide.
- Acceptance. Accept what is, instead of longing for what is not.
This book has been a great tool for re-establishing my faith in fitness and the pursuit of good health. My old thoughts held a negative image of myself. However at 400 pounds, many of those thoughts were true. Those old thoughts have no place in the new me. Image is important, but it's nothing if it's not the truth.
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
Anne 4-30-2009 @ 3:21AM
But the psychological hint for everyone is not effective, right?
http://www.000health.com
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Tamara Albright 6-23-2009 @ 7:19AM
Wow Carla. Thanks so much for your article. The depth and honesty in your sharing is profound. I believe all women can relate. I know I certainly can. There's so much pressure on women to look a certain way and unfortunately this starts at an early age.
The tips posted are powerful indeed. I finally found an exercise that is fun and helped my really gain an appreciation for my body exactly how it was. Nia is pleasure based fitness that includes using sensory awareness that really helped me appreciate the pleasures my body can provide. One of the things I love about Nia is that you see all ages and body shapes in class - and that women are smiling while participating. Here's a link to an article about connecting to your body in a loving way that beautifully ties in to what you so eloquently shared: http://albrightcreative.wordpress.com/2009/06/22/seduction-through-sensation/
My wish for all women and girls is that they find meaningful and profound ways to love their bodies, freeing us all to celebrate the wonder of the human form and all it provides. It's clear this is your intention as well. Thank you.
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