14 Active Dates For Valentine's Day
Benjamin Committed To A Gym Routine And Lost 245 Pounds
Body-Image - Are You a Good Role Model for Your Kids?
Posted on Apr 9th 2009 2:00PM by Mary KearlDara Chadwick, author of "You'd Be So Pretty If..."
That's Fit: Why did you choose to write this book about "teaching our daughters to love their bodies"?
Chadwick: This book was born out of a column I wrote for Shape magazine as its 2007 Weight-Loss Diary columnist. In it, I reflected on how my body image had been shaped by my mom's feelings about her own body and how my feelings about my body were shaping my daughter's body image. I realized that I could have an enormous impact on my daughter's body image through my behavior toward my own body -- how I treat it and talk about it. As moms, we're often quick to make negative comments about ourselves, and our daughters pick up that self-critical behavior. I wanted readers to know that they don't have to be perfect or look like supermodels to help their daughters feel good about themselves. Little changes can have big effects.
Chadwick: This book was born out of a column I wrote for Shape magazine as its 2007 Weight-Loss Diary columnist. In it, I reflected on how my body image had been shaped by my mom's feelings about her own body and how my feelings about my body were shaping my daughter's body image. I realized that I could have an enormous impact on my daughter's body image through my behavior toward my own body -- how I treat it and talk about it. As moms, we're often quick to make negative comments about ourselves, and our daughters pick up that self-critical behavior. I wanted readers to know that they don't have to be perfect or look like supermodels to help their daughters feel good about themselves. Little changes can have big effects.
That's Fit: Did you ever diet as a teenager?
Chadwick: I never really consciously dieted as a young teen. But one day, when I was 15, I ate something that made me feel sick and I wasn't interested in food for a few days. When I stepped on the scale and saw that the needle had dropped, I decided, "Hey, I just won't eat for a while." So I didn't. I dropped about 30 pounds very quickly and was soon treading into dangerous territory.
That's Fit: In your book "You'd Be So Pretty If..." you describe a moment where you realized as a parent you were a "body-image role model" for your kids. What are some of the ways parents can become better "body-image role models"?
Chadwick: First and foremost, watch what you say about yourself. If you're constantly berating yourself for eating a cupcake or not getting to the gym, that's sending a strong message to your kids. Moms, I think, have to be especially careful about the criticisms they throw at their bodies, particularly if their daughters share a similar shape. You're planting a seed with each comment and when her body starts to look like yours, she'll remember those comments and apply them to herself.
Also, remember that you don't have to make grand pronouncements or a big deal about eating healthier and being more active -- start by serving a salad with dinner and inviting your kids to join you for a walk. It's all about modeling healthy behavior and the best way to do that is to just incorporate it into your lives. Same thing with treats... if the family's going out for ice cream, then have an ice cream without a single comment about how you shouldn't eat it or that it's going directly to your thighs.
Finally, let go of the need to be "perfect" or to measure up to some ideal that you hold in your mind. Do what you can to look your best, then forget it. Dance when you want to, swim when you feel like it and show your kids that "perfection" isn't required to live a happy life.
