Flirting With a Fitness Instructor - Put the Kabosh on Your Crush
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Q. I take a serious interval class on Friday mornings and get along well with the instructor. I have taken the class for over a year and actually exchange e-mails with her on various topics, fitness and otherwise; she's cool, competitive, and likes challenges. I admit, I'd like to ask her to arm wrestle (she's cute and wicked fit), but am somewhat afraid to do so. I'm happily married and so is she, so I don't want to come across as asking something inappropriate. Any advice on how I should handle it? Mark
A. Hi, Mark. Thanks for the question. Look, normally I wouldn't consider it an odd request to ask an instructor you're friendly with for a simple physical challenge. But the fact that you've mentioned she's hot and that you're married leaves me to believe your intentions aren't completely innocent.
I've taught a million group classes over the past few years and have had the great fortune of meeting some of my best friends through instructing. It's quite natural for instructors to become buddies with the folks attending their classes on a regular basis. I wouldn't push it with yours though; she may be able to read into your request and then everyone will feel weird.
As a wife, I also want to take a moment to defend yours. This minor flirtation with your instructor is not OK and would make the woman waiting for you at home feel sad. You should put the kabosh on your growing crush immediately.
Lastly, what good could come of this? If she beats you, you'll look like a dork. If you beat her, you'll still look like a dork. Find a man of equal size to challenge. Maybe your instructor can pair you up with another guy in the class. Take your eye off of "that prize" and put it back on the real one. Buy your wife some roses and get your focus back on your fitness. Now get to work!
Punches & Kicks,
Note: The content presented in this Q & A section is for informational purposes only and should not be viewed as medical advice or substitute for professional medical care.
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
Stephanie 2-25-2009 @ 3:16PM
Fitz, I have to agree with you here, this guy needs to back off and focus his interests purely in staying fit, and the pretty girl he has at home. It's fine to enjoy the view sometimes, but if I knew my husband was getting that close to someone he found physically attractive, I would feel incredibly threatened!!
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Tawnia 2-25-2009 @ 5:36PM
I like your reply to "Mark's" question. If more people would be considerate of others feelings, reputations, etc., other than their own self gratification, we'd have a happier & much better world to live in & there would be a lot less divorce. I commend you.
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Pat 2-25-2009 @ 5:39PM
Good to ask the question because it helps you create a barrier to keep your distance.
You might want to change classes if you are not able to keep your boundaries in place. Do what ever it takes to protect the trust between you and your wife.
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Mike 3-10-2009 @ 2:26PM
Here's my question for Fitz:
My wife and I had been doing a fantastic job of getting into shape, but then I sprained my foot, and she got pregnant. Our daughter is 9 months old now, and it's still really hard for us to find time to go the gym in the evenings.
I've got a big of a gut, but it's not much, and my wife thinks I'm smokin', so I'm not really concerned about weight loss. I do worry about my cardiovascular fitness, though. It's not unusual for my heart rate to top 100 bpm while I'm just sitting working at my desk, and that's pretty much all I do all day.
Because of my sprained foot (it's healed, but prone to reinjury), the treadmill is not recommended, but the rowing machine is fine. I've recently started going to the gym on my lunch hour a couple of times a week, but I only end up getting about 20 minutes actually working out. If I plan well, I could probably stretch that to 30 minutes.
What should I be doing to get maximum bang for my buck in terms of cardiovascular fitness? I want to have the endurance to keep up with my daughter as she grows up, and I want to be around a long time after that as well.
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