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Q. Hey Fitz, Long time reader here. We've got a problem in our family, and it's that my dad is incredibly obese. He has a fairly athletic build, but in recent years became "potbellied." He's the only obese person in his family, and his health is REALLY starting to suffer.

He's having problems with his knees, joints, back, and worst of all -- his attitude. He cannot exercise because he's already so inactive, and every diet he's been on (reluctantly) he's just put the weight back on afterward. Sometimes he does it intentionally, for fun (a la Dunkin Donuts trips ... how awful!)

This is a huge problem for my family because we've warned him nonstop that his health has really gone downhill, and we have our own lives to keep up with in the future. My mother and I are both slender and in fairly good health, but my brother takes after my dad. Seeing how he's turned out, my brother's already become extremely health-conscious. I think my father needs to see some sort of specialist so that he can turn around his life and health and therefore LIVE LONGER. Right now he's setting himself up for an extremely unpleasant and uncomfortable old-age!

I really need your help with this, please write back. I think he'll be much happier to be back like his former self, but needs to go on some sort of program that motivates him to be a healthy and strong person again. Thanks, Ben

A. It's painstaking to watch a family member destroy his or her own health. Whether your loved-one smokes, drinks, abuses drugs or eats recklessly, it's a scary and frustrating situation. I feel for you.

Diets are often difficult and usually lead to failure, which is why I never recommend them. Companies have made billions selling short term programs which promise big results to people just like your dad. Unfortunately, those "big results" usually only last until the diet is over, and then the diet's victims are left regaining lost weight.

Look. I know you love your dad, but he has to be the one to want to lose weight. Trust me. I've been in the honest weight-loss business (eat right, exercise) for 20 years and people NEVER see results until they put their own feet down and make a deliberate decision for their life.

Your father's doctor may be able to have an impact, though. Privacy laws may restrict him from sharing any information with you, but that doesn't mean you can't notify him of your concerns. Write a letter as a concerned child. I've found that straight talk from a physician tends to go a long way. One of my favorite clients, Jeff, was put on notice by his doctor that he wouldn't survive very long if he didn't make drastic changes. In just a matter of months, Jeff has lost 60 pounds, enjoys healthy food and has embraced exercising with his wife. He's excited, proud and past the point of silly diets. He's just focused on living well. I'm elated for him.

Interestingly enough, my father also lived on the edge of death's door. No matter what I, as his fancy fitness expert daughter, said, the man was hell bent on devouring as much cheese, butter and soda as he could. Even a heart attack didn't deter him from nearing 300 pounds. And then one day, he just changed his mind. At 67 years old, my dad decided to be fat no longer and began walking several miles each day and eating a bit better. He's now under 200 pounds. So ... it's never to late, right?

Ben, your father is so lucky to have a loving and concerned son like you. I recommend you avoid nagging or arguing about his weight, as he will probably only change on his own accord. Instead, invite him to join you for active fun and stick to bringing only healthy foods in to your home. Remind him of how much you love him and want him in your life. I wish you many wonderful years together! My thoughts are with you!

Punches & Kicks,

Fitz

Fitzness.com

Note: The content presented in this Q. & A section is for informational purposes only and should not be viewed as medical advice or substitute for professional medical care.