The Good, The Fat and The Hungry - Trick or Treat?

Welcome to the Good, the Fat and the Hungry. I'm Karla and I have been -- or am -- all those things. Here, I will share with you my lifelong struggle with my weight and I hope you'll follow along on with my determined attempt to lose nearly 40 pounds. I promise to tell you every win and setback along the way every Tuesday and Friday.

Is desire alone enough to attain a goal? Or does it take more? What separates those who get it from those who don't?

Too often I wonder why I continue to struggle with my weight loss as much as I do. I try not to beat myself up, but maybe I should I do it more. I mean, why do I pat myself on the back for even the smallest accomplishments? How is it possible that as much as I exercise and know of its benefits that I still make it borderline optional?

On occasion, I will buy myself a "treat." I absolutely love Tootsie Rolls and have bullied my fair share from kids on the playground. (Note: being the biggest kid in school wasn't ALL bad). For whatever reason, I easily justify to myself why I "deserve" a treat, be it in the form of Tootsie Rolls or something else not included in my daily diet. But seriously, even typing the word deserve is almost comical because I'm just not that good. And saying on occasion is almost as funny. Deserve translates to justify and on occasion really means several times a week. I call it treating but I'm really tricking -- myself.

Sure I could say I deserve to treat myself because I work hard, because I make mostly good choices, because it's Monday, because the sun is shining. Not sure why I deserve a treat on Mondays and sunny days. I think those treats go to God. But I'll eat them for Him, if you let me. I have considered putting "treat dates" on the calendar to minimize the frequency. Another consideration is a treat scale ranging from a new designer handbag to a spa day to, what else: Tootsie Rolls. Of course, the scale is based on monetary value with more expensive treats being a reward for something big. In reality, the Coach bag and the Tootsie Rolls would need to switch places. Yes, I can afford the Tootsie Rolls far quicker than the handbag, but my waist cannot afford them at all. So many questions and so many answers. That's right. I ask the questions, but I also have the answers. Answers with no action are useless.

Is desire alone enough to attain a goal? No. Faith without work is dead. I really, really want to get to my goal. But I already know that if I don't eat right and exercise, the goal is that much farther away. Too many bad choices will keep me from ever seeing my goal.

What separates those who get it from those who don't? Commitment and willingness. Being a singer in New York City, I've witnessed other singers go from open mic to the Grammy stage. They've got talent, and I've got talent. What separates me from them is their daily hustle to make it big. They juggle CD sales on the subway. I take the subway to work. They sell CDs at every venue. I don't have a CD. They are committed to their music. I am committed to my day job that pays bills. They are at every open mic seizing the opportunity. I stay home and venture out when I feel like it. I say I want it. They say they do too. They get it. I write about it. I'm determined to not let that be "the end" of my music career, but that's another story.

Here is where I recommit to stay on track and get to my goal. Writing about it brings accountability because I know of at least two people who read this, and I feel their four eyes permeating through my useless excuses. I am thankful for this place where I can be real and refocus.

I look and feel better than I have since birth. I am running for the first time in my life. I can cross my legs and do all things girlie. Isn't that treat enough? Seriously.