The Good, the Fat and the Hungry - Food is an addiction, too

Welcome to the Good, the Fat and the Hungry. I'm Karla and I have been -- or am -- all those things. Here, I will share with you my lifelong struggle with my weight and I hope you'll follow along on with my determined attempt to lose nearly 40 pounds. I promise to tell you every win and setback along the way every Tuesday and Friday.

Hi. My name is Karla and I am an addict.

I'd heard this line a thousand times. In support of a friend in recovery, I would go to NA and AA meetings with him and in my own way feel superior to those unfortunates who'd let any substance derail their hopes, dreams and destroy their families. I would secretly look down my nose at them and think, what a shame.

My friend died two years ago. Even though he was well-educated, had been a pastor, husband and father of five, he'd say his greatest accomplishment was living his last years clean and sober.

Shortly before he died, I took him to a meeting to collect his seven-year sobriety chip. I listened as other people shared their stories. This night was different because I began to see that my behavior with food at times was akin to that of an addict.No, I never hit any old people over the head for a Twinkie, but pushed far enough, I just might have. Listening opened my eyes to the euphoria I felt when I'd secretly binge. It made me aware of the butterflies I felt when ordering two double meat sandwich super size combos at the drive-thru, all for me. Anticipation over what I'd binge on that night would often get me through the day. Slowly but surely I began to see that I, too, was an addict.

No sneaking around in back alleys is required when your drug of choice is on every corner. A food addict never has to turn tricks or pawn jewelry so the lows we sink to are not evident. But are they any less real?

There are no tales of businesses going belly up nor ravings about wild antics used to secure food. But does that make food addiction any less relevant? I think it makes it more relevant. In drug addicts, the cry for help is displayed in many ways, but addiction to food is often our own personal, deep, dark secret.

I alone knew of my addiction. Nobody else knew that I'd cry myself to sleep in a crumb-filled bed, ashamed of my lack of control. And no matter how many nights I spent like that or how many times I promised myself that this was the last time, I always did it again. These are the telltale signs of a true addict.

Hi. My name is Karla and I am a recovering addict. The first time I used my name and addict in the same sentence was difficult. But it was also liberating because what I was experiencing finally had a name -- food addict. Once you identify you can rectify. The first step to recovery is admitting that you have a problem. Step one, check.

Now I have learned to set boundaries about what and how much of something I can eat. I am sensitive to feelings of euphoria over food and will turn it away if I think I am headed for relapse. I have been empowered through education. I accept that some things I will never eat again because I have no control and I'm okay with that. I have learned portion sizes in comparison to my hand so I always have a measuring cup within arm's (or hand's) reach. I know on sight that if meat is larger than a fist (3-5 oz.), it's probably more than I should have. I also know and avoid my trigger foods, like all things salty. If I see a potato chip, I have to eat the first one and all his cousins in the bag so he won't be lonely. Hence I stay away from potato chips. Instead, I eat Glenny's soy chips. They taste pretty good and I can eat the whole bag without buying the (fat) farm.

Of course I'd love to say I've made these changes on my own, but not so much. A wonderful nutritionist, Keri Glassman, has changed my life and how I think about food. She has taught me about portions, good and bad fats, calories and carbs. Thanks to her support and commitment to help me reach my goal, I am in recovery. Keri helped me make some great substitutions in my diet to keep me from feeling deprived and to keep me energized throughout the day. Keri I could kiss you!

In so many ways and for hundreds of different reasons, I have my friend and his NA meetings to thank for the revelation. He put me on the road to recovery without even knowing it. Because he's not here, all I can do is look up at the sky and say thank you to him and the God that gave him to me. Needless to say that this friend holds a very special place in my heart. Not only was he my friend, he was my 74-year-old father.

Thanks Dad! You taught me well. I don't know if you can see me from heaven but if you could, you'd know that I look and feel great!

I'm still going strong. Check back on Friday for my new weight!