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Biggest mistakes men and women make in bed

by Maggie Vink (Subscribe to Maggie Vink's posts)
Aug 8th 2008 4:00PM

Categories: Motivation

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couple kissingWe've all heard the old "Men are from Mars..." saying. While we certainly aren't planets apart there are some critical differences in the way most men and women express their needs and in what their needs actually are. There's nowhere where those differences can be more apparent than in the bedroom.

Today interviewed two top sex experts, author Ian Kerner and iVillage correspondent Tracey Cox , to come up with a list of mistakes men and women make when it comes to sex:
  • Women don't understand why men don't like to cuddle. The two experts disagreed on this, but I'm going to side with the guy who said that most men want to crash after sex, where most women want to connect and cuddle. Guys? Want to weigh in with your opinion on this one?

  • Women don't understand the extent to which body image, self-esteem issues, and performance anxiety can affect the male sex drive. Men have anxiety issues just like women do, and it would serve us well to be a little more sensitive about that.
  • Women think men are ready to go at a moment's notice. Men aren't sex-crazy robots that are raring to go the minute they look at a woman.
  • Women don't understand how men can differentiate between love and sex so easily. During sex, women create a hormone called oxytocin that subsequently generates an emotional response. So, hormonally-speaking, women are more apt to tie emotions with sex.
  • Men assume that women have a lower desire for sex. Not true, not true. However, women don't tend to have as consistent of a desire for sex. Also, the emotion thing comes in to play.
  • Men assume that all women want romance. While romance and soft, sweet sex have their place, sometimes women like things on the naughty side, too.
  • Men assume that women want guys to perform like porn stars. Women would much rather have a man take the time to figure out her needs.
  • Men assume that when he's ready for sex, she's ready too. Most men get aroused more quickly.
If you want a few more tips on what not to do, check out Laura's post on six mistakes straight guys make in bed.

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