Life Fit with Laura Lewis: 6 Mistakes Straight Men Make ... in bed
Being Life Fit is about your total health, including the health of all of your relationships. Life Fit is a journey, not a destination. It is a process of continuous growth: physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Check in each Tuesday to Life Fit with Laura Lewis, author of "52 Ways To A Healthy You," as we explore our total life fitness. Then, weigh in with your own thoughts over at Laura's "Life Fit Chat" each Wednesday and Thursday for further discussion on the week's topic. Or check out "Ask Laura" every Friday for answers! For more information visit Laura at www.LauraLewis.com.Does your bedroom romance sometimes feel more like a workout than a make-out? Ya know ladies, men rely on us for feedback, and when we don't provide that we can set ourselves ... and our guys ... up for some less than fantastic lovin'. Fortunately, the well-respected WebMD invited two acclaimed sex educators, Tristan Taormino and Lou Paget, to share the most common sex mistakes men make with women. Drum roll please ...
- This worked with the last girl so ... Just like you guys, no two women have the same physical, or physiological, make up. What made your last lover over the moon crazy for you may not make the next all that crazy. Taormino explains, "You develop a repertoire as you mature sexually, but you should never assume that what worked for the last person is going to work for this person." The same is true for sexual predilections as for relationships. Some women become attached after the first sexual encounter while others are perfectly happy with no-strings-attached sex. Pay attention to the subtle cues your partner is sending.
- You got all the goods ... While our egos -- both men's and women's -- want to believe that we are all our partner needs, the reality is some times some battery operated assistance is needed. Some women can climax within seconds of penetration while others need the RPMs only one thing can provide. Rather than taking that as a slant to your manhood, allow yourself to pleasure your partner in what ever way pleases her. Taormino urges men to consider the vibrator as an assistant rather than as a replacement. Taormino explains, "While you're doing one thing, or two things, the vibrator can be doing something else."
- You know how she feels ... Trust me on this guys ... sex does not feel the same for women as it does for men. Paget claims that there is a a "huge disconnect" between men and women in the ways that sex feels good. She says, "When a man has intercourse with a woman, and his penis goes into her body, that sensation is so off the charts for most men, they cannot imagine that it isn't feeling the same way for her." The reality is that the vagina is less sensitive than the outer parts of the body for most women. And, because some men are larger than the space they occupy inside a woman, the woman may need to re-acclimate herself with each sexual encounter. Paget goes on to say that if a man's penis is too long, deep thrusting can feel like a kick in the stomach ... over and over again. Again, follow your partner's cues, and let her guide you and follow her lead.
- Her body is a wonderland ... John Mayer could not have stated that more eloquently. Believe it or not, the female body is often as big a mystery to the woman as it is to her lover. Just because you can find the clitoris does not mean you have won the game ... finding The Spot is just the roll of the dice, you still have to navigate your player around the board game. Every single woman experiences clitoral stimulation different. Some women are incredibly sensitive while others need more aggressive stimulation. The only way to know what your partner likes -- and needs -- is to ask her. And please don't strum her like a guitar!
- Wet means turned on and visa versa ... Not so! As a matter of fact, how wet a woman gets changes day by day as her hormones change. Factors such as a woman's menstrual cycle, as well as the amount of stress and/or medications will all impact her natural lubrication. KY is not a cop out.
- Get outside your head ... Silence is not golden. Just as much as you need your partner to communicate her desires to you, she also wants to know what you like, how you like it, and when you like it. Talk about it! She will listen.
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