Win a Samsung 22-inch LCD monitor from Joystiq!

Ask Laura! Infidelity! Is Monogamy Natural?

Posted: Jun 27th 2008 6:30AM by Laura Lewis
Filed under: Ask Laura!

Life Fitness is a process of continuous growth: physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Need motivation and guidance to facilitate positive changes in your life? Ask Life Fit Expert Laura Lewis!


Dear Laura,

I aspire to live a balanced healthy life. I am a successful 29 year old woman who has a wonderful career. I workout, I eat right, I have wonderful friends and am basically satisfied with my life.Yet, I want to get married, but I am afraid of being with the same person romantically for the rest of my life! I feel that it is not natural to just "be" with the same person "forever." As a matter of fact, I was reading that monogamy is not natural. This is a big issue for me. I want to live a really great life. What do you think?

Signed,

Kathy G, Plano, Texas


Dear Kathy,

What an interesting question. As you know I preach living a "balanced, happy, and healthy life." And since I have a science background, I love contemplating the research associated with this subject. Is it natural for humans to be monogamous? I can honestly say, I don't know. How can we explain all of the infidelity occurring in our society? What exactly is going on with that?
Scientific researchers dedicated to studying human and animal behavior note one very interesting thing that occurs naturally when females go beyond their mate to "get it on" with others. Sarah Hrdy, Professor of Anthropology Emeritus at the University of California, Davis has studied this topic extensively and gave a very interesting keynote at the Radcliffe Institute for Advanced Study's first major symposium, entitled "Gender and Inquiry" in 2000. What was so interesting is that she studied the Langur monkeys of India and noticed that females who sought out dominant males of the "enemy" tribes and became pregnant with their offspring that ultimately it had to to with the survival of her offspring and ultimately her tribe! Hrdy discovered, that this infidelity of sorts has to do with the tendency of dominant males to kill babies that are not their own. Since dominant males are dethroned by rivals every 27 months or so, these infanticides are quite common, so common, in fact, that, if unchecked, they would be detrimental to the langurs as a species. But males from the opposing tribe during such an "attack" will recognize their own offspring and not kill them and hence, allow for the continuation of that specific gene pool. So polyandrous behavior, or mating with multiple males among the Langur monkeys, is actually a strategy that is deemed maternal and assists in survival of the species!

David P. Barash, one of the authors of The Myth of Mongamy found that the only species that had a zero percent chance of mating with another after a "commitment" was the Diplozoon paradoxum, a flatworm that lives in gills of freshwater fish. "Males and females meet each other as adolescents, and their bodies literally fuse together, whereupon they remain faithful until death."

How does that relate to my opinion on monogamy within the human experience? I always like to look at the scientific animal research as correlated to human behavior. Are we animals? Well, in a sense yes! We do have a primitive side to us that drives us if we let it. Yet, I feel a highly evolved human, who is spiritually connected to the divine in some way considering delving into "forbidden waters" must make the choice to either go the primitive route or to go the evolved, spiritually connected route! To choose to be with one mate is highly evolved. I am not sure what others think and feel but you know, with such a high rate of infidelity, that indeed, many factors need to be evaluated. So, with the wandering eye of both males and females of the human race is this related to the survival of a specific genetic pool? Actually, I am not sure. What do you think? What is an explanation for the high rate of infidelity in our society?

Thank you Kathy for your question! Feel free to write again!

Healthfully Yours,

Laura Lewis


For more information on healthy relationships check out AOL Body's Healthy Relationships section! Until next time!!

Related Headlines

Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)

Add your comments

Please keep your comments relevant to this blog entry. Email addresses are never displayed, but they are required to confirm your comments.

When you enter your name and email address, you'll be sent a link to confirm your comment, and a password. To leave another comment, just use that password.

To create a live link, simply type the URL (including http://) or email address and we will make it a live link for you. You can put up to 3 URLs in your comments. Line breaks and paragraphs are automatically converted — no need to use <p> or <br> tags.

New Users

Current Users



That's Fit Features





Life Fit with Laura Lewis

How many calories burned? What is my BMI?
More weight loss tools!


Features
AOL Health Bloggers (57)
Ask Fitz! (73)
Ask Laura! (21)
ATIO: Summer Quick Fix Challenge (6)
ATIO: Wednesday Weigh-In (4)
ATIO: Weekly Weight-loss Results (4)
Celebrity Fitzness Report (39)
Daily Fit Tip (399)
Fit Beauty (87)
Fit Factor (92)
Fit Gadgets (28)
Fit Links (94)
Fit Mama (10)
Fit Pregnancy (22)
Fitku (13)
FitSpirit (43)
FitTV (6)
Fitzness Fiends (52)
Good, Fat, and the Hungry (0)
Gut Busters (4)
Healthy Handful (11)
How Many Calories? (103)
Jogging for Normal People (17)
Jumpstart Your Fitness (89)
Life Fit Chat with Laura Lewis (106)
Life Fit with Laura Lewis (57)
Meet the Bloggers (20)
One Small Step (7)
Podcasts (43)
Recipe Rehab (23)
Retro Review (3)
Road To Fitville (15)
Stress Less (34)
Taking Off Ten (12)
That's Fit In The Field (3)
The 5 (41)
The Daily Turn On! (108)
We Love To Gawk At Fit Celebs (56)
We Love To Gawk At Fit Celebs Weekly Roundup (31)
Week In Review (58)
Working In the Workouts (52)
Workplace Fitness (90)
You Are What You Eat (68)
Your Turn (21)
Healthy Living
Alternative Therapies (299)
Book Reviews (98)
Celebrities (822)
Cellulite (222)
Diet and Weight Loss (2378)
Eco-Travel (81)
Emotional Health (1274)
Fit Fashion (82)
Fitness (3592)
Food and Nutrition (4300)
General Health (5466)
Health and Technology (663)
Health in the Media (1264)
HealthWatch (465)
Healthy Aging (740)
Healthy Events (158)
Healthy Habits (2103)
Healthy Home (451)
Healthy Kids (1533)
Healthy Places (248)
Healthy Products (939)
Healthy Recipes (322)
Healthy Relationships (309)
Men's Health (1511)
Natural Beauty (231)
Natural Products (242)
Obesity (292)
Organic (217)
Spirituality and Inspiration (277)
Stress Reduction (540)
Sustainable Community (236)
Vegetarian (288)
Vitamins and Supplements (279)
Women's Health (2045)
Work/Home Balance (189)

RESOURCES

Powered by Blogsmith

Daily Fit Tip

Getting a pedicure is one of the best ways to relax after a hard day, but hitting the salon every time you feel stressed can get expensive. But no worries!...

 

Featured Stories

Sponsored Links

Most Commented On (60 days)

Recent Comments


Aches, pains? Find out what your symptoms mean:

Sites We Love

Other Weblogs Inc. Network blogs you might be interested in: