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Talking to your partner about weight loss

Posted on Jun 20th 2008 11:00AM by Maggie Vink

Filed Under: Diet & Weight Loss, Motivation

When you enter into a relationship, you fully expect your partner to have some excess baggage -- past loves, insecurities, and worries about your relationship's future. Most of us are equipped to deal with that. But what do you do when your partners excess "baggage" also includes baggage in the form of extra pounds?

Dr. Rovenia Brock says that to best help an overweight partner you need to stop criticizing and start caring. Criticizing a partner's weight will most likely be counterproductive. That doesn't mean you can't talk to your partner about your concerns, but you need to approach it with a little TLC. Let your partner know that you're making suggestions because you care. But you should even keep that to a minimum. Instead, start making healthy changes that will promote your partner's better health:

Order two appetizers instead of a meal when eating out, or just order one entree and split it.
Avoid or cut back on alcoholic beverages.

Don't keep cookies, chips, or other tempting treats in the house.
Cook nutritious meals with your partner.
Suggest a walk after dinner, plan a hiking expedition on the weekend, and look for other opportunities to spend time together being active.

Most of all, remember that if you love your partner, extra pounds shouldn't change the way you feel at all. You need to know that, and so does your partner. Helping your partner achieve a proper weight should be only about concern for their health and nothing more.

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Tags: couple, obese, obesity, overweight, overweight partner, OverweightPartner, partner, relationship, weight loss, WeightLoss

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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)

Lauren 6-22-2008 @ 8:03PM

When my boyfriend and I met, we were both gym fanatics. We were in great shape. Since then (about 2 years) we have both gained at least 20 lbs each. Two weeks ago we made a pact to get healthy and go back to the gym. Neither of us drink or smoke, so it's basically just eating whole foods and exercizing daily. We are making sure not to jump right back into being gym fanatics and eating healthy 24-7 in fear of failing. Instead, we are slowly integrating a healthier lifestyle into our lives so we can be more successful in our weight loss. He always said I looked fine no matter what, but acknowledged the fact that I was indeed 20 lbs heavier. He told me months and months earlier to let him know when he started to get noticeably healthy, so I did. Not in a mean way or a nice way, but each person knows their partner/spouse and what way to approach it. My boyfriend figured out the occasional stomach grab wasn't the way to make me feel motivated to lose weight!

Vishaal 6-22-2008 @ 8:05PM

I'm 6'1 and was 185 when I got with my parnter. Then, because we were the eating couple, I gained all the way to 212. I got down to 179 and he still has yet to lose any of the weight he gained. We have a real problem with this because I don't have an attraction to him as much as before. I still love him, but the desire is just not there. I think it's the fact that I lost so much weight and he has yet to even try. I tell him my concerns, but he just shrugs it off and eats some more. =\ This is a huge deal because I'm not attracted to him, but still he's not even trying. He'll go running ONCE, after I beg him, then he won't go for weeks until I BEG him to go again. I also suggest we eat salads and I always suggest we go walking at the mall or go to Disneyland and walk (we have the pass), or go clubbing (which is totally a wicked workout in disguise)...he doesn't like any of it. =|