That's Fit

Life Fitness is a process of continuous growth: physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Need motivation and guidance to facilitate positive changes in your life? Ask Life Fit Expert Laura Lewis!

Dear Laura,

This is a subject I really don't like to talk about with anyone but the fact is I am just not that interested in sex. I used to be when I was younger but something happened after I had my kids. My husband and I used to have sex at least 3 to 4 times a week and we had a lot of fun. A lot of passion. Now, I don't feel like it. When my husband hints around I really just don't want to "go there" if you know what I mean. I think he is losing his patience with me so sometimes I just go ahead and "do it" but I am not into it at all. I feel like a different person. Is there anything you could recommend that might get me to be back to normal? I am 35 and consider myself healthy. I am afraid if I don't get back to the way I was before my husband may end up getting really frustrated with me and look elsewhere.

Signed,

"No Romance For Me"


Dear "No Romance",

There are so many causes for low libido or low sex drive. Many are rooted in biochemical imbalances, others are psychological. Here are 5 Tips to Boost Libido:

• 1. Get Physical. Poor diet and lack of physical activity can dampen being "in the mood"! Repairing yourself physically with both modifications in diet and fitness can often help stimulate libido. Are you getting enough sleep, at least seven to nine hours per evening? What is your nutrition like? A diet high in refined carbohydrates and fats can also dampen the appetite if you overindulge in these areas. If you get serious about your diet program and workout regularly, at least 4 to 5 times per week it is highly likely that you'll see improvement in your "interest" level if indeed poor nutrition and low activity levels were part of the original problem.
  

• 2. Boost Your Mood: Depression is also a cause of low libido. Did you know it is estimated that at any given time in the U.S. 16% of people are clinically depressed? That is not a small number. To identify if you are depressed check out these seven symptoms that you are getting into a depression. Then, if you think are depressed, you should seek professional help from a counselor. Once depression is lifted, sex drive often will increase.
  

• 3. Balance Your Hormones. If your hormones are out of balance they can most certainly dampen your appetite for sex. I suggest to find a health care provider who will help you perform a saliva test. This test is often a good way to see what is happening with your hormones throughout the day. I personally lean towards a more alternative approach that I receive from my acupuncturist who is also a doctor of oriental medicine. Using herbs can help balance hormones naturally. Or see your gynecologist and ask about bioidentical hormones. Either way, check it out!
  
• 4. Bump Up Your Supplements. Flax or fish oil, rich in Omega 3 fatty acids provide fuel to the body for hormone production. If you are low in essential fat your body may have a difficult time manufacturing optimal levels of hormones such as estrogen and progesterone. DHEA is used by some to elevate testosterone levels, which in turn, boosts sex drive. However be sure to follow the guidance of a health professional. Good ol' Vitamin D is a super one to boost the immune system as well as regulate hormones. You may take a supplement or get out in the sun at least ten minutes per day, rolling your sleeves up and expose your legs.Many experts believe 1,000 to 3,000 IUs daily, if taken as a supplement, is optimal. If you decide to get your vitamin D the old fashioned way via the sun, be sure that after ten minutes of exposure to apply a sunscreen.
  
• 5. Emotional Intimacy is also a big factor in the quality of many couples sex lives. With small children many couples end up having less quality time together due to the demands of parenting. Make a point to get out on a real date at least once a month. Do something you both enjoy doing and get out of the house leaving your precious kiddos with a sitter you trust. Get out for the day or even the weekend. There is nothing like a short get away to help couples reconnect. Talk to each other in a positive way. Stop complaining. Stop criticizing each other. Spend quiet, romantic time together. Just "be" together. Emotional reconnection can do wonders for boosting the passion in couples.
  

These few pointers are a great place to start. Of course, there is no substitute for professional help but at the very least begin to take care of YOU again.Often, we lose ourselves in the midst of growing a new family. She is still in there. You just need to wake her up! Oh and get the idea out of your head about your sweet hubby straying. You don't want to attract what you fear most. Be positive and proactive!

Healthfully Yours,

Laura Lewis, Life Fit Expert


Need more relationship advice? Go to AOL Body's Healthy Relationships Pages!