The irony of weight loss

by Fitz K. (Subscribe to Fitz K.'s posts)
May 23rd 2008 2:52PM

Categories: Healthy Aging, Healthy Habits, Healthy Relationships, Stress Reduction, Work/Home Balance, HealthWatch, Healthy Recipes, Cellulite, Obesity, Healthy Events, Diet & Weight Loss, Fitness, Celebs & Entertainment, Motivation, Nutrition & Supplements, Men's Health

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I just finished chatting with one of favorite friends who called to share some great news regarding his weight. Last month he stepped on the scale at a whopping 259 pounds. Not good news. That day though, he entered the "Biggest Loser" competition at his workplace, and he's lost about 20 pounds since. Great news!

Funny thing. He was telling me that some of his friends are now telling him how "worried" they are that he's losing so much weight. This dude is nowhere near anorexic. My gut reaction was, "where were these people and their vocal concern when you were creeping towards 300 pounds?" This guy is no more than six feet tall. He shouldn't be 259 pounds! He and I have talked weight loss in the past, but where were his other friends?

Anyway. I know it's taboo to tell a friend their weight is worrisome. But, isn't that what friends are for? Aren't we supposed to watch out for each other? Of course people need to choose good habits on their own, but a little heart to heart with your closest companion seems fair to me.

I told my buddy not to fret. He's choosing healthy foods, exercising, and avoiding too much junk. His body is just responding the way it should when it's being fed and moved appropriately. Why should anybody worry about that? Isn't it ironic that someone would?

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Comments (9)

Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)

mishi 5-23-2008 @ 3:25PM

It's not ironic at all- it's a passive-aggressive way of expressing their jealousy that he's losing weight. They're probably used to having him as their "fat friend," and his finally doing something about it threatens that label. The same thing happened to me when I started losing weight, even though I was more than obese and was losing it in a healthy way. I'm still overweight, but am a relatively "average" American size, and now I even have people telling me I should "stop losing weight." Not ironically, it's people who are overweight themselves.

Fanny 5-23-2008 @ 3:36PM

Actually what you are talking about is very common. I work with a woman who has been whining about her weight for as long as I can remember, I try to keep to healthy eating (not so good at it), but I am at least steady right now. Need to lose, but getting there. Everytime there are cookies or deserts here in the office, she tells me. She wants me to come over, why so I can indulge too. She wants me to fail cause she is. Its always like that. The other one that many people face is sabotage of a spouse, its not just that they like you the way that you are, or jealousy, its fear. "IF you get skinny you will leave me" Your friend is doing the right thing and as long as his weight loss is healthy then people should be proud. Its just not the way it works. What is even worse and drives me nuts, when you do lose weight, people are like "how did you do it?" when you tell them you gave up junk food and ate healthy food and avoided alcohol and all the bad foods, they suddenly lose interest or say "Oh I can never do that" they were hoping you took a pill not that you changed your eating habits at. Oh and if you tell them you workout, they are like "yea I should do that, do you want to go to lunch instead of workout" amazing isn't it.

Alex 5-23-2008 @ 3:53PM

I think sometimes this happens because people no longer know what healthy looks like. We are so used to seeing people who are overweight and obese, that those people seem "normal." When people have begun to believe that 30 pounds overweight is "normal" or "average," healthy begins to look skinny. Especially for the people who are overweight but think they are at a healthy weight. If I get my BMI down to about 21, people start asking if I'm ok. Am I eating? Am I upset about something? Am I stressed out? Do I feel ok? They think I am way to thin at that weight and I must be ill or starving myself. In reality, I am well into the healthy range.

UH2L 5-23-2008 @ 4:14PM

Great post. It reminds me of when married people keep bugging single people about getting married or about having kids once they are married. Some of them don't like to see single people or childless married people have time to themselves to do whatever they want. They want their normalcy to be a part of other people's lives. It's just like heavy people wanting other people to be heavy.

As I mentioned in another comment referencing a blogpost I wrote, if it weren't for the media perpetuating thinness and athleticism, just think how fat we'd be? In a way, we owe thanks to the media.

UH2L

abby 5-23-2008 @ 5:25PM

My dad started 'worrying' when he got below 200 pounds after finally cleaning up his diet a little. But at 6'2", his BMI is still very high and I think he should continue the weight loss but he has backtracked now. Ridiculous. These people should be very worried about being overweight!

blossom011 5-23-2008 @ 6:55PM

Even if someone is drifting toward anorexia, as a recovered anorexic I'm going to submit the opinion that the absolute worst thing that you can say to someone who is losing too much weight is "You look too skinny". We take it as a compliment. 1. We're making noticeable change and 2. You care about us.
Why would we want to divert that?
Concern should come when severe weight loss results in obvious body malfunctions such as frequent bruising, loss of blood circulation, energy deficiency, etc. These are the issues that should be recognized and reversed.

bkruiser 5-24-2008 @ 12:30AM

Weight loss for the past 40 million years has been a bad thing for any human. Loosing weight often preceeds death even today. Loss of weight is a sign of serious illness. Until the 20th century the idea of weightloss as a good thing was unheard of. Remember folks just 100 years ago life expectancy was only 38. Makes you think twice about living naturally, eating naturally etc. Naturally we would sit on our cans and eat as much fattening foods as we can get our hands on.

Naomi Reinhardt 5-24-2008 @ 9:37AM

I applaud anyone who makes a decision to lose weight and sticks to it regardless. I don't lose weight easily, but I gave up junk food a long time ago and stick to an abundance of whole grains, fruits and vegies with very little in the way of fat additives. I'm losing inches faster than pounds, but the rest will come off eventually. I see so many grosely fat people and wonder why they allow themselves to become this way.

Marg 6-02-2008 @ 9:20PM

Yeah, as a freshman in college, I was hyper aware of weight gain, fearing the freshman 15. I cannot tell you the looks and comments I got because I would eat a salad for dinner. At first it didn't bother me, because i was one of the few who still fit into my jeans. I have to admit, the constant pressure to eat more got to me. (I would say more peer pressure to eat poorly then to drink!) Any advice to keep on track?