That's Fit

Life Fitness is a process of continuous growth: physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Need motivation
and guidance to facilitate positive changes in your life? Ask Life Fit Expert

Dear Laura,

Why do you think, when I am with my boyfriend or even out with my friends that they all try to tempt me to eat things that would blow my diet? It has gotten worse the more weight I lose. Last month I lost ten pounds and was feeling really proud of myself. And then my boyfriend shows up with a 1 pound bag of my favorite candy. He said it was a "reward." My friends also always try to get me to have dessert when we are out to eat. How do I deal with this? And why do you think they are doing it? And what can I do?

Thank you.

D. S., Newark, N.J.

Dear D.S.,

The "sabotage" of your diet program by your friends and loved ones is something that unfortunately happens to many people. Especially when the person losing weight starts looking and feeling more confident.

I really don't believe those who care about you are really conscious of this behavior. What I theorize is that it "rocks" their boat of what is normal in their lives and the comfort level they had before with you is changing as your physical appearance changes as well as your eating habits. Let's face it. Most people really don't want change. Change to many feels threatening, even "good" change as it is not in the realm of their familiarity. So what they end up doing, more than likely originating from a subconscious level, is try to bestow upon you your favorite snacks and treats. Seeing you enjoy them would be, well, familiar. Right?

Action Tip: Be strong, smile and say no thank you. If they say why, you have three choices. One, you tell the truth. "I am on a diet and I really am not going to blow it. I am feeling too good!" Or two, "I really am not that hungry" or three "My stomach is feeling a bit off right now." (yes, I know, it's a white lie but many a well-meaning friend or loved one has been shut down with this last one!).

Then I have another theory about some men who do not want their sweetheart to lose weight. (Guys, I apologize for the stereotype and I know there are many wonderful, loving , supportive men out there, so please know this is not intended to put all men in this category). Could it be possible that the better you look the more threatened they might feel that another may try to woo you away? This my dear, is basic insecurity.

Action Tip: Reassure your man. Tell him you are crazy about him. And smile and keep on keeping on! After all, you are doing this ultimately for you and no one else! For your health and happiness. Stay on the path.

Healthfully Yours,

Life Fit Expert, Laura Lewis

PS To read more about healthy living and relationships check out the AOL Body Relationship site!