That's Fit

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and guidance to facilitate positive changes in your life? Ask Life Fit Expert Laura Lewis!

Dear Laura,

I have been married to a wonderful guy for twelve years. We have two children, ages 10 and 7, who take up a lot of my time. I am female, 36 years of age and my problem is, I just don't feel like being romantic with my husband any more. Here's a little bit about me: I could stand to lose about thirty pounds, I am always on a diet, stressed out and don't have time for myself either. I feel as if I have lost the old "me". I really could just take it or leave it when it comes to havng sex. Do you have any suggestions on how to reawaken the passion that used to be a part of me but is nowhere to be found now?

Signed,

Tired and Passionless

Dear Tired,

Not being in the "mood" for romance is a common problem with many couples. Although the frequency of how often couples engage in romantic actitivites varies from couple to couple, the important aspect is that both partners agree on how much is "enough" and "not enough". I have a few ideas for you that may boost your interest in having more "sexy time" with your hubby.

Ideas to Boost Libido:

• Sleep! Getting adequate sleep can help you to feel more energized, refreshed and recharged... essential for lovemaking! Researchers recommend at least 7 to 9 hours per night. If you get less than 7, stress hormones rise. And stress can take the "wind" out of anyone's "sails"!
• Nutrition. You need to eat a well balanced diet at regular times each day. But a key component is essential fat. Fats help regulate our hormones as they are the substance that helps our body manufacture them! Have two tablespoons of organic extra virgin olive oil! I love the stuff! Or start eating more fatty fish such as Salmon and Halibut, snack on unsalted seeds and nuts. Almonds, pumpkin seeds, and a wide variety of others will provide our bodies with the "stuff" that will help your sex drive increase. No kidding! Guys, by the way, you should know that pumpkin seeds are quite good for your prostate! Click here and select the podcast entitled "Peter Piper and the Pumpkin Seed". Trust me. You'll like it!
• Java! Did you know that regular coffee drinkers have higher libidos?Coffee elevates dopamine in the brain, and dopamine is known as the "pleasure" hormone. So, what do you think? Nothing like a cup of espresso to get you in the mood!
• Have a Chat. With your man. In this fantastic Web MD article regarding libido differences between men and women, it is recommended that you sit down with your sweetheart during a very neutral time of day and bring out the Kama Sutra book, read together, look at pictures and talk about different things you would like to try! Talking also will increase your emotional intimacy with your partner...and get you giggling looking at some of the most unusual pleasure positions!
• Text, Text & Text. Send sweet and sexy messages to your honey. Make them steamy such as "I want to_________ with you". And relay your desire. If you are still not in the mood by this point, fake it until you make it. Approach texting as if you were writing a sexy book and your reader was very receptive! It really works. Give it a try.
• Hormones and Exercise. Hormones get "out of whack" so it is important to do what you can to keep them balanced and elevated to youthful levels. In my book, "52 Ways to a Healthy You" , copyright 2007, I discuss the GET hormones: Growth Hormone, Estrogen and testosterone decrease as we age. Working out, especially resistance training (the use of weights) can bring your hormones back up to par, almost to the level you had when you were a teen! Bottom line?Get thy derriere to the gym!
• Hormones and Herbs. Seek out a reputable Chinese medicine specialist, who uses herbs in his or her practice. Explain the problem thoroughly. I take Chinese herbs to keep me happy, energized and more, but only under the carerful supervision of your doctor!

Anyway Tired...as you can see I am recommending doing a few simple things that may have a big impact upon your life! Read the fabulous Web MD article I have mentioned above. Last of all, it's okay! Many, many people have been through this situation and I must say, all is not lost! You can be YOU again. Take care of your health, get enough rest, eat healthfully and most importantly change your attitude! Being open and optimistic can take you a long way in life! It's the weekend...have fun! And keep me posted!

Healthfully Yours,

That's Fit.com Life Fit Expert, Laura Lewis

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