Vegetarians, vegans, omnivores and love
Categories: Healthy Relationships, Diet & Weight Loss, Motivation, Nutrition & Supplements
Can differing dietary habits drive a wedge between relationships? This omnivore dated an ovo-lacto vegetarian for three years and then married him. Without kids it was pretty easy to accommodate our differences. At home we prepared vegetarian dinners, but meat was fine to have in the house -- I made turkey sandwiches for lunch and he'd pile on veggies/cheese. Dinners out were a celebration for me, I could order anything with meat. He had absolutely no issues about my meat intake. In a good-hearted effort I even jumped on the ovo-lacto veggie bandwagon for five months after our son was born. But I became devoid of energy, didn't feel myself and returned to chicken breasts, grilled fish, turkey burgers, turkey and the sporadic burger or steak.
Then I became pregnant again. As our son turned toddler and my littte bump grew, I knew there was a problem when as soon as my husband left town for a conference I immediately grilled up two giant, juicy steaks for dinner with a barely two-year-old. I was getting plain tired of veggie-only meals and didn't have the previous energy to cook a separate dish for myself at times. Raising children was also getting in the way of dinners out, we simply ate more at home. My husband eventually returned to the land of the omnivore. I have no idea why he one day announced, "Let's roast a chicken once a week like my grandmother did." I just nodded my head in secret amazement and roasted that chicken. Now we're almost-flexitarians, eating many vegetarian meals weekly. We still love veggie -- just not 100 percent of the time.
What about the vegetarian who cannot tolerate the smell of meat in the kitchen? Could they love an omnivore long-term? Or the 'vegangelical' -- first time I ever heard that label -- would pepperoni and cheese on half the pizza send them into relationship despair? According to this article, all sorts of people have ended relationships thanks to contradictory food preferences. A gluten-free woman shared one man liked bread too much to date her. Many vegetarians swear off omnivore-dating and some vegans (eat nothing animal) are seriously averse to smooching an omelette-lover. One psychiatrist weighed in that food has a strong subconscious link to love and a partner can feel rejected if their eating habits are under attack. Marital therapists agree tolerance and compromise are key to all healthy relationships, even those facing major food differences. Could you tolerate and accept a partner with a markedly different diet?
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
Judy 3-20-2008 @ 10:30AM
We are also "flexitarians" (although I really hate that term), so it's not something I feel extremely strongly about. We came to this together, for health, ethical and ecological reasons (as well as cost thrown in there - we can't afford to eat all organic free-range meat daily), so it's not an issue for us.
I can certainly understand how someone who was veg for ethical reasons would not be able to have a love relationship with a meat-eater. When we feel very strongly about something, we tend to want our serious relationships to be with people who share those views.
I've never understood how people with very different religious or politcal views could be married, for example. If my husband suddenly turned conservative on me, I don't know what that would do to our marriage.
I suppose one problem would come if both parties were omnivores at first, and one came to the decision to go veg later. I could see how that could cause pretty serious issues - does the other party have to conform, or how does the other one adapt?
Thankfully, not something I'm dealing with. (As long as my husband IS joking when he says he's voting for McCain this November.)
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