Your Turn: Is being blunt a good thing?

by Martha Edwards (Subscribe to Martha Edwards's posts)
Feb 21st 2008 11:21AM

The other day, the folks on my team at the office had a celebratory potluck lunch, complete with savoury curries, rich desserts, cheesy delights and much more. After we were done stuffing our faces, one of our co-workers took on a sombre tone. 'Look guys,' he said, 'I have something to tell you. I think we all need to buy gym memberships and use them. Our waistlines are all looking a bigger. It's not just you--it's me too. We're sitting around at desks all day so we need to do something to burn it off. Especially you single people'

We were silent for a moment, but it was only a few seconds before we collectively burst into laughter. We all knew he was being serious but we couldn't be angry or upset because we knew he wasn't trying to be rude -- he was just being honest, and he had our best interests at heart. Plus? He's European so we're used to his brand of blunt candor.

Still, it made me think. Is it better to be blunt or sweet? Would you rather hear the awful truth? Or would you rather someone made an effort to preserve your self esteem by either avoiding the subject or telling you flattering lies?

Comments (4)

Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)

Nick 2-21-2008 @ 3:08PM

Bluntness is a terrific tool ... we just need to develop thicker skins. When you're saccharin-sweet all the time your words stop holding meaning because no one knows whether you're being genuine or not. People probably think that I'm a bit of a jackass sometimes because I don't refrain from being critical, but when I *do* deliver a compliment they know that it's real.

nikkicookers 2-21-2008 @ 11:18PM

I agree with nick... Bluntness is great. First off, i don't think he was being offensive at all, he included himself in it and he explained that it's not cuz you're lazy it's just cuz you have all been sitting around at a desk. In my opinion he did a good job of mentioning this.

nikki cook
http://fitconnect.com/lilnicky1234

Liz Christmas 2-21-2008 @ 4:00PM

Yes, it's a good thing to be blunt, however it's also a good thing to be tactful and use your words carefully so it doesn't come across as being negative.

Andrea 2-22-2008 @ 8:39AM

I am a very blunt person. I prefer to associate with people who are upfront and honest with me. If I want to know what someone thinks about a topic, I ask and expect an honest answer. People who ask "Do you like my hair?" or "Do you find me attractive" and then get upset at the answer are idiots. If you don't want the truth, don't ask the question. Don't expect me to fluff your ego.
However, I usually keep my critical opinions about particular people and their hair/style/performance/etc to myself unless my opinion is asked. You don't like my new haircut? Keep your opinion to yourself unless I ask you what you think. I probably wouldn't tell someone they were too fat unless they asked if they looked fat, except those who think it is appropriate to comment on my skinniness. I ALWAYS tell them I think they're too fat. They never make that mistake twice.