The 5: Worst infomercial fitness products EVER
I'll be the first to admit it, I find infomercials to be some of the most entertaining programs on television. I don't really watch all that much TV, but the few times I do, I can't help but at least stop and watch an infomercial for a few minutes. My favorites definitely have to be the fitness infomercials.
Where else can you see such bad acting, even worse efforts of making "the old version" of an exercise look like it can break your back, and at the same time make absolutely mendacious claims about being able to make you fit almost overnight? Nowhere but in the magical, wonderful world of infomercials.
Here are, in my opinion, the worst 5 infomercial fitness products EVER:
5 - The Thigh Master. Suzanne Somers may look fantastic for her age, but let's face it -- it ain't because she used a Thigh Master. Squeezing together two pieces of plastic a total distance of about ten inches will do about as much for your thighs as squeezing a zit would. Even more ridiculous is the marketers' attempt to make it seem possible to get a bicep workout by squeezing the Thigh Master with your arm. Good luck not punching yourself in the face.
4 - Soloflex. Fine, I'll admit it ... I owned a Soloflex. Although it's a decent idea in theory, in practice it just doesn't cut it. The biggest problem with the Soloflex is that its resistance band "technology" (I always loved it when they called it that in the infomercial - as if they invented rubber bands) provided almost no negative resistance. Being that most of your muscle-building is done during this portion of the exercise (this is the lowering portion), you only received half of a workout. FYI: I ended up selling mine (at a huge loss) about eight months after I bought it.
3 - Osim iGallop. Amazingly, this one is still on the market. Designed to work your leg and core muscles, this machine is probably just as effective an exercise as spending twenty-five cents to ride the kiddie horse outside of Wal-Mart.
2 - Power Glide. In case you've forgotten, this was the thingie that required you to wear special shoe covers (that made you look like you were about to investigate a crime scene), while the exercise itself involved gliding back-and-forth across a slippery surface, mimicking the lateral movement of a speed skater. While I'm sure this gadget actually produced some physical benefits, I can't imagine they are worth spending any solid portion of your life sliding around your living room in booties.
1 - Bodyblade. It took me a while to even find the name of this freakin' thing. Never mind the fact that I couldn't remember the name, it was damn near impossible to describe this piece of equipment in a Google Search without coming up with links to porn sites. "Long Metal Pole Grab in Center" and "Vibrating Fitness Rod" turned up some pretty funky websites, let me tell you. Nevertheless, these descriptions are pretty much spot on, for all you do with the Bodyblade is hold it (it being the long, metal blade) in the center and then shake it back and forth. That's it. How the hell does that constitute a workout? If, by chance, it even causes you to break a sweat, it's probably less to do with the exercise and more to do with the realization that you probably can't get your money back.
Have you ever fallen victim to any of these, or any other, infomercial products? Or, have you actually found some of these products to be useful? Inquiring minds want to know.
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
11-13-2007 @ 10:58AM
Sean said...
While recovering from a torn ACL (3 months for me ) I saw the PT (Physical Trainers) using the Body blade to help people who had sprained, broken, stretched tendons in their wrists. The motions were forcing them to use the surrounding muscles and keep control without resorting to heavy weights. It was precise and self-controlled yet helped them to build up their strength. Incidentally, I did the sliding thing (power glide) while there as well (about once a week of my three times-a-week recovery) It did help strengthen the muscles and helped my mobility.
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11-14-2007 @ 7:43AM
Trey said...
It sounds like some of these may be useful in rehabilitation scenarios, but not as a workout routine. What's truly sad about some of these (Thigh Master in mind) is that so many people were fooled into buying these in hopes that it would move them from sedentary to the next level of fitness. One I can't get out of my mind, is Tony Little's Gazelle. If this doesn't look like some sort of torture device, I don't know what does.
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11-16-2007 @ 2:29PM
SoloJeff said...
Hey I used the soloflex for a couple of years in highschool and it increased my bench by about 50lbs (no I am not kidding) It also did have negative resistance, so I am not sure where you are getting that idea (rubber band snaps back). Was it the best fitness product, well maybe not but it worked really well for me. It actually provided a different type of resistance that took a little getting used to but in the end it helped quite a bit.
Another useless product is this pos, someone gave this to us for xmas last year.. http://www.redexerciser.net/
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11-16-2007 @ 2:41PM
Homey said...
I used to own something called the "Body Bar." It was literally a steel bar that you could, with some mighty effort, bend a bit. It worked off the "Principles of Ridigity". You know...the basic principle that rigid things are mass hard to bend?
You could angle it against your heel and press in with your hand, working your quads as well as your shoulder and back. You know, those muscles you use when you try to bend something strong?
Seriously sucky.
Horribly Inappropriate Christmas Cards
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11-16-2007 @ 2:59PM
Adam said...
You gotta love the bodyblade. I mean, c'mon, what an awesome man. It reminds me of the movie Blade.
My roommate recently purchased the push up thing where they twist. Really, do we need a twisty over glorified push-up device. Why not just do some hold fashioned pushups?
Or better yet, just motivate yourself to the gym - http://www.weightreductioncoach.com/5-gym-movitators-to-get-youmotivated-41.html
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11-16-2007 @ 3:16PM
Mark said...
I think the Ab-Doer should have been on the list! Nothing like sitting in a chair and bending back and forth with the slight resistance the spring would give. I bought one of these. Or, as Dave Ramsey would say, I paid my "Stupid tax."
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11-16-2007 @ 3:39PM
codesuidae said...
I used a bodyblade at the physical trainers office when I had some problems with my sholder (weak rotator cuff muscles they said, resulting in impingement. Whatever, the exercises made it stop hurting).
It's actually quite good. It's fun and challenging to use properly, which makes it the kind of thing you don't mind using often.
You hold it at the anti-node in the center and apply very slight movement at the resonant frequency. You can apply as much or as little force as you like, but the ideal movement is still very slight. If you deviate from the resonant frequency the comfortable rhythmic motion is interrupted and you have to work a bit to sync back up.
Because it is essentially stationary at the center, you can add motion on top of the oscillations required to keep it going, for example, raising it from your side to above your head.
When I was using it the standard workout was to keep it going fairly vigorously for 30 seconds at a stretch. Doesn't sound like much, but it's like a sprint for the muscles involved, you can get a serious burn going in a very short time.
I also like it because it is very compact, not like some of the other exercise equipment out there.
It won't turn you into a beefcake, but it's definitely a useful tool for upper body work.
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11-19-2007 @ 9:09AM
Timothy said...
What about the Ab-Zapper? That little thing that you put around your belly with a huge elastic band and it electrocuted your fat every few seconds with a micro-tazer pulse. It didn't do anything other than give you constant electric shocks, and the company had to give full refunds to anyone who bought the product.
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11-19-2007 @ 11:32AM
nikkicookers said...
You need to add that electronic ab device thingy. That pulses your stomach muscles and claims to give you ripped abs. That thing was the stupidest scam ever.
nikki
nikkicookers@aol.com
http://www.fitconnect.com "It's OK to Brag!"
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1-25-2008 @ 7:41PM
Leg Snapper said...
Bet you never heard of the leg snapping benefits of the Thigh Master. Some years ago I inherited one of the older models (that didn't have the foam padding over the springs). Well, with the whole contraption slipped and snapped my leg like an alligato, I was left with scars on my inner thigh long enough to make me eternally immuned to buying any of these gizmos.
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