LA Fitness audited fitness levels of 1,000 people in the UK. Now they don't say if the small sample is representative of the UK populace, but here are the pathetic results of this particular sample.

Fitness levels are at an all-time low. More than half the population cannot cycle for 20 minutes nor touch their toes. Sixty-eight percent cannot manage 20 sit-ups, while 66 percent avoid rigorous activity such as cycling, running or speed walking, becoming breathless after three flights of stairs.

Turns out Northern Ireland is the least fit. Half cannot sling home groceries from the market and an astounding 70 percent cannot touch their piggly wigglies. Probably a nasty combination of belly fat and tight hamstrings.