Some people get all weepy when they see their favorite soap star at some mall promotion or get all hyped up when they get a cell phone snapshot of some D-lister they remember from an 80s sitcom ordering a Jamba Juice before getting on the subway. I personally love it when celebrities struggle with stuff like muffin tops and plain old muffins, just like we do. I love it when they go all out in an athletic event and when they wig out about being the biggest person in the room, just like we do. And I especially love it when their own brand of celebrity wackadoodleness is plastered all over gossip TV, not at all like us but nonetheless fun to talk about at work. C what I mean?

Commitment -- Just when you think you're a badass for completing a triathlon, Felicity Huffman comes along and steals your thunder. Not only did she bring it home while wearing lucky number 13, she promptly toweled off the sweat and slid on a hot purple number cut down to there for the Emmys (is it me or is this mama getting sexier every year?). Now that's commitment.

Collaboration -- And she wasn't alone! Felicity's hubs William H. was right behind his wife. David Duchovney did the old swim-bike-run and member of The Bachelor Dork Brigade Andy Baldwin also was victorious. Hmmm, I wonder if Tessa was cheering him on with Gatorade and hugs at the finish line?

Conversion -- Meanwhile, back at the Hilton ranch, Paris's new $6 million home has plenty of space for guests but not enough room for accessories. To remedy the situation and make her Manolos very happy, Paris is converting the home's fitness room into a shoe closet. But of course! I mean, she probably has people who work out for her in the servants quarters anyway.

Conventional -- Aretha Franklin laughs off her struggles with weight and reveals that the numbers she's found on the treadmill have made all her hard work "happy." She's working it off the hard, old-fashioned way and you know what that deserves.

Caked On -- Courtney Love has thankfully started to move past the skeletal look by indulging in cupcakes. I don't blame her and I certainly say that choice is better than a lot of other indulgences the now-reformed singer has made in the past. Now, on to real nutrition. There's got to be a happy and healthier medium between protein shakes and cupcakes, right?

Commonsensical -- Shanna Moakler seems to have it together with a spunky attitude about how her body's changed since having children. She's saying no thanks to the typical celeb post-partum routine of surgery or gym addiction and is instead taking nine months or more to slowly, surely work of the baby weight. I love the sentiment but just need to know: Who is she again?

Confusion -- And because for every sane celeb, there are fourteen kooky loos - Keira Knightley seems to be in the midst of some major distorted thinking about her body. The actress, who has certainly rivaled Courtney Love in the skeletal frame department, sees herself as double the size of other stars. That makes me sad. And also want a muffin.