Getting over a break-up isn't impossible, it's just really, really hard

by Lauren Greschner (Subscribe to Lauren Greschner's posts)
Aug 27th 2007 12:54PM

I've always found goodbyes very sad and really difficult, and parting with a boyfriend has always been the most difficult kind of goodbye. Whether you're the breaker or the breakee -- or even if the break up is totally mutual, ending a relationship is painful. Recently Brian White wrote a post regarding a study with results that showed breaking up isn't actually that hard to do. It makes me wonder who was participating in the study -- robots perhaps that weren't programed to have feelings?

I know everyone has different experiences and I suppose that for some people, breaking up isn't that big of a deal but for everyone I know it pretty much just sucks. I agree with the author of this piece who discusses how the worst part of breaking up is all of the analysis that goes on in your head in the weeks and even months after you've ended things with your partner. Questions like "Did I do the right thing?", "What if I'd done a, b or c differently?" and "If things were so great at first, what happened to change everything?" can be torturous to someone suffering from post-break up blues.

I think the only saving grace is keeping in mind that pretty much everyone you know has been where you are and made it through, and likely you've been there before too. It may be difficult in the here and now, but try to remember that in time you'll look back and wonder why you were so upset in the first place.

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Comments (3)

Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)

JG 8-27-2007 @ 1:52PM

Thank you so much for your post! I read what Brian wrote last week and felt the same way you did, wondering who participated in that study? I thought, am I just being an over emotional baby?? Will I ever feel normal again?

I was broken up with about 3 months ago and let me say it was just devestating! I am still "getting over it" despite knowing from experience that some day I will.

My friends have been very supportive. The best advice I have been given so far is to have as much distance from him as possible, so I do not call him, text him or drive by his house...despite that fact that I want to.

Thanks for letting me know that I am not crazy for having a hard time getting over this guy. I am hopeful that one day I will wake up and it wont hurt anymore.

Dr.J 8-28-2007 @ 1:13PM

As the saying goes: "Time is the healer." Find useful ways to pass the time, and we all 'heal'.

laszlo meszaros 8-28-2007 @ 5:08PM

The heart is broken very easy,at least mine has been,it hurt so-mutch after my brake-up that it landed me in the hospital. The depresson that hit me like a lead brick after the initial shock of my life,but I got over it,I'm writting this are'nt I. It took a few years of help from my doctors and it worked. Now this was probably one of those cases that had to involve a shrink to get over the brake-up. I had been with this one woman for 17 years,not to mention that she was the second one in my life. The first woman broke my heart after 13 years,she had found someone else and that about killed me then. So now,I am very carefull about giving my heart to anyone,I mean anyone. It has been very difficult being alone,but I'm happy and secure knowing that I can go on and live another day being by myself and not get hurt. Some day,maybe,I will fall in love again and give my heart to someone,but until that day comes,I will have a heart that will not be broken again,thank-you.