Are you suffering from a quarterlife crisis?

by Lauren Greschner (Subscribe to Lauren Greschner's posts)
Aug 24th 2007 11:26AM

Are you in your mid-to-late 20s and still living with your parents? Did you spend four or five years at university and wind up thousands of dollars in debt, working at a job that you can't imagine going back to tomorrow let alone for the rest of you life? Are all of your friends starting to settle down, get married, buy homes and have kids? And finally, does all of the above really freak you out?

If you answered yes to these questions, you could be suffering from a quarterlife crisis. This relatively new phenomena is similar to the better known midlife crisis, but while the midlife crisis is known to affect men (and women to a lesser extent) in their 40s who want to reclaim their youth, the quarterlife crisis attacks the psyche of twentysomethings trying to negotiate the ever-expanding gap between adolescence and adulthood.

I once participated in a class discussion about the affliction at university and nearly every other student admitted that they suffered from mild to extreme anxiety over the direction that their lives were (or weren't) taking. Perhaps the worst thing is that there's no solution or cure, we all just have to make the best choices we can with the information that we've learned so far and ride it out until we hit our 30s.

If you are suffering from a quarterlife crisis, you can at least take comfort in the fact that there's an entire Web site devoted to the affliction where you can chat with thousands of others going through the same things you are. You may be feeling lost and misguided, but at least you're not alone.

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Comments (49)

Reader Comments (Page 1 of 3)

jersey girl 79 8-29-2007 @ 3:58PM

WOW this is so true!!! My best friend and I have been saying that we have been having quarter-life crisis for a while. I guess its natural to freak out over what you are going to do for the rest of your life. It may not seem like a big deal, but it really is when you're the one going thru it. You just gotta find out what works for you and find comfort in knowing that you made the right decisions : )

Paula 8-29-2007 @ 3:59PM

As a 50ish woman with a 25ish daughter still dependent and at home, at least I now know there is a name doe it and it's not entirely my fault.

ROBOTLOVE72 8-29-2007 @ 3:59PM

I just turned 21 and i've been going through this for a good year or more. I grew up a little faster than most...I work full time, live alone, and go to school. It's incredibly stressful that you're so young when they decide to throw you into college and expect you to know what you want to do with the rest of your life. I'm still a freshman in college, not by choice, but i'm glad I am because I still don't know what to do as a career. I just want to do everything!! and Penn State does NOT HELP the situation. They don't care about your best interests, they care about putting money in their pockets!

smarteepantz 8-29-2007 @ 4:06PM

It's funny, I'm turning 29 on Sunday, and I feel like I'm finally getting my life in order. I still have the occasional panic attack (you know, the "what am I doing with my life?" freak-out), but I think I'm finally on the right path and doing something I'm passionate about. That being said, there were several years in there where I was floundering, badly: hated my job, felt trapped in my life, drank WAY too much, wracked up HUGE credit card debt ($35,000) and was generally an unhealthy mess (pretty much from 23 to 26). It wasn't until I went into grad school that things straightened out and I found my path. Quarterlife crisis be damned, everyone goes through the pressure, use the anxiety to determine what your passion in life is and go for it!

Anna 8-29-2007 @ 5:05PM

That is so stupid. The home, the kids, and the marriage are a lot of work. That is the time you are allowed to jobs, pick up and travel, date whomever you want. Just around the corner are hugh responsibilities, obligations, and a lot less freedom. Enjoy your twenties while you can.

Marie 8-29-2007 @ 4:00PM

My mother had one. She's now 52. In fact, almost everyone I know that's her age DID have one. I hardly think this is new. It's a hard stage in life, it's really not surprising.

Jeff Shortland 8-29-2007 @ 4:00PM

This shouldn't be a big surprise to our generation.. people have been using the phrase quarter life crisis for years now (at least I've heard it used).. we're raised with misconceptions about university, and college, and groomed to go into programs that will hopefully lead us to a career, when frankly, thats not what most universities are designed to do (unless you want to be a doctor, lawyer, or accountant.) Jobs look for obscure courses and certification that you've never heard of, but must have, to make or break the difference between making 7$ an hour and 17. Student tirelessly work on grades in related fields of work, but can't be hired on the basis of experience. companies hire only internally instead of looking outside to fill positions with the best candidates, and use the most profitable ones they've already had.

so we're stuck. some of us manage our way into careers, making midrange salaries in the 25-35k range per year, slowly paying off our debts. if we're lucky, we find people to live with to cut the costs, but most of us still loathe what we do. It makes me wonder how valuable an education really is, when the governments and corporations beg for trained individuals, but outsource to other countries.

we're all better off working in realestate :P

Susan 8-29-2007 @ 4:01PM

That is why so many marriages fail, when these kids are getting married and they can't /don't even take care of themselves! They have so much going on, they can't take care of a lifelong relationship!

tdoremus 8-29-2007 @ 4:08PM

I am 28 years old and I am going through the crisis. Like many of my other friends, we all had our "life" plan mapped out. We would go to elementary, middle, and high school, then on to college. That part of our lives were simple. Then after graduating college it was like woah? What next? We all knew we had to get jobs and we were excited about taking on the REAL WORLD (not the MTV show). But it wasn't as exciting as we had hoped. We all hate our jobs that we went to college to get. We are underpaid, housing rates or rising along with gas, food, ect... We feel as if the world is falling apart, because it is and we are stuck trying to make ourselves happy and survive at the same time. We just have to ride it out, but the 30's better be WAY better, if not then I should just go ahead and slit my wrist now (don't literally mean that)

Mali Hinesley 7-07-2008 @ 1:58PM

I had one at 25 and thought I´d made up that phrase on my own (obviously not). But life is different from our parents. We don´t have to pick our career for the rest of our lives (we´ll have like four or five now if not more) and we´re too smart to settle down and have a family right away which is no longer affordable anyway...

mhtranscribe 8-29-2007 @ 4:17PM

Wow, yet another excuse for laziness and lack of discipline. My 33 year old sister STILL lives at home, has a degree, goes out partying every night, is morbidly obese, and acts like she's still in high school. Oh, and she's in credit card debt up to her eyeballs because she spends more than she makes (a whopping $10/hr scanning documents). PA-THE-TIC!!! Even my 14 and 12 year olds see what a loser she is! Get off your b-u-t-s (behold! the underlying truth) and get your lives in gear!!!!

Tiffany B 8-29-2007 @ 4:04PM

I can totally relate-- I JUST started getting my life together at 27. I went through a 3-4 year period in my early 20's where I didn't know what i wanted to do as a career, and I was partying all the time and working dead end jobs. It just sorta "hit" me one day-hey, I'd better start getting it together or I'm going to regret it when I turn 40. There is still time in your mid-20's to correct life descisions, but it is too late when your 45 and still in debt, working at a fast-food restaurant riding the bus.

dawn 8-29-2007 @ 4:06PM

Its so funny -- I was just thinking about my "quarter-life crisis" this morning, before I came across this article. I guess I think about it alot. It is nice to know there are people going through the same struggles as I am. I always thought I would have my life figured out at 24, but I am realizing more and more that you never stop learnig when you start living day to day.

lol@cha 8-29-2007 @ 6:23PM

Yes it's hard. :'(
The worst thing is, my parents think that everything is the same as when they were kids. They can't relate to the situation at all. It's bs... well college might help me get a good job and start a career. So true robotlove72, it's not what we were led to believe.

roo 8-29-2007 @ 6:27PM

All I have to say is, get over it. There are far more important things to think about and far more people worse off than you. Quit being selfish and focus your attention on helping others, like the homeless, or children in abusive homes. Then maybe you will realize you have a purpose and grow up.

Kru 8-29-2007 @ 6:24PM

All I have to say is get over it. There are far more things to think about and far more people worse off than you. Quit being selfish and focus your attention on helping others like the homeless or children in abusive homes. Then maybe you will realize you have a purpose and grow up.

Drew 8-29-2007 @ 6:24PM

MHTranscribe: The scathing comments dished out by you might carry a little more weight if you correctly spelled butT. Instead you just lump every person into a category of laziness when some people bust their asses just to get by. Granted, your sister does sound like a loser; but this article isn't really meant to be dealing with people like her. So you should probably back up a bit.

J.B. 8-29-2007 @ 6:24PM

I myself remember going through this crisis.
I was the unhappiest puppy in my 20ees.
Thank God it does pass and life becomes just great in your 30ees and up.

bruce forrest 8-29-2007 @ 6:25PM

WE NOW HAVE A GENERATION OF SISSIES. GD...TOUGHEN UP AND STOP FEELING SORRY FOR YOURSELF. YOU OBVIOUSLY DON'T HAVE ENOUGH TO DO. GET OFF YOUR BUTT AND TRY TO ACCOMPLISH SOMETHING.....POOR ME....I'M SUFFERING.....I'M ENTITLED.....AOL JUST KEEPS PUTTING THIS BS OUT THERE FOR ALL OF YOU WHO HAVE TO FEEL SORRY FOR YOURSELVES. GROW THE HELL UP!!!!!