French mom offers 40 reasons not to have kids

by Lauren Greschner (Subscribe to Lauren Greschner's posts)
Aug 23rd 2007 7:13AM

Categories: Diet & Weight Loss, Motivation

People are either going to love the author interviewed in this article or they're going to hate her. Corinne Maier, a French mother of two, has written a book called No Kid: 40 Reasons Not to Have Children. From what the interviewer says about the book, it sounds as though Maier is pretty fierce and truly feels her life was better before kids. In the actual interview though, she seems slightly more humorous (albeit in a dark way).

Maier believes the French Government promotes the idea of family in that country in order to keep the economy running -- more kids equals more consumers to sell goods to after all, and also ups the amount of future earners contributing to the country's pension programs.

But Maier also has plenty of personal reasons not to have kids, 20 of which are listed in the piece. They include:

You will lose touch with your friends.
Your child will kill your desire.
Children sound the death knell of the couple.
You will be duped into thinking there is such a thing as a perfect child.
You will be expected to be a mother before you are a professional or a woman.
Children are dangerous. They will take you to court without a second thought.

Some of the reasons are harsh and some humorous, but I also think that some ring true. Possibly the most shocking thing about the book is that this woman, who lives in a society where having kids is often thought to be the only way a woman can really ever be fulfilled -- and in which those of us who haven't had or don't want children are viewed with pity or scorn -- is willing to admit that she regrets having children.

What do you think, is Maier selfish and crazy or courageous and honest?

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Comments (456)

Reader Comments (Page 1 of 23)

bijoux108 8-23-2007 @ 9:46AM

I feel sorry for her kids once they read the book.
It would make me kind kinda unwanted.

ESK 8-23-2007 @ 9:47AM

kinda?

GRH 8-23-2007 @ 10:55AM

At least she is being honest. Far too often in our society we shame people into doing things they don't want do, like have children. In fact, the most responsible thing any of us can do for society, for the planet, and for ourselves is to have fewer children. Almost all the psychological research shows that people who have children are less happy than those without. Lets all just try to be a little honest about it. Maybe her words will make it possible to open a dialogue about it, both with her children and with the world. There are a lot of people out there who feel the same way but never say it. The children of those parents sense it but have no way to process it. Honesty and discussion lead the way to healing, wanted or not. Besides, there is no doubt that this woman loves her children. She also shows that she cares for them and about them, makes sure they are safe, wants the best for them, and so on. Just because you love someone and protect them and care for them doesn't mean they make you happy... if you think long and hard about all of your past relationships, the relationships you know of parents of troubled children or even typical teenagers, you will recognize I am right.

Franca W Mayle 8-28-2007 @ 9:48AM

If I knew then what I know now I would have never had kids.When they where babies they stepped on your toes.Teenagers step on your heart!!!

hannah 8-28-2007 @ 9:48AM

I don't want children. So I totally understand her statements, but I honestly think that she should have taken into account how it's going to effect her children. My mother would have NEVER admitted that her life was better before children. (Even though it prbably was!) My brothers and I gave her a run for her money, but she is an awesome mom.

Barbara 8-28-2007 @ 9:49AM

She is wrong, wrong, wrong. I have 3 grown children. Things were never smooth, neither is life, but I am so proud of them and to know there is someone there for me.
She should never have had children if she feels that way. It isn't fair to the child.
Raising children to be a asset to society is far more important than money and thinking only of oneself.

D 8-28-2007 @ 9:51AM

heaven forbid we put our children before ourselves... I think the reason for some not to have kids is simply evolution... but I will prob. read it and get a good laugh. Some things have to be taken lightly ya know

Yogi 8-28-2007 @ 9:52AM

It's about time someone spoke up in favor of having a life of their own! No, it is NOT selfish at all. All too often in todays society we hear someone pull out the trump phrase - "It's for the children." Hogwash! It's time for the pussification of America to come to a halt. How about spending some time thanking the grown ups that raised the children? Children today are becoming more and more obsessed with their own importance. The educational system even has them dropping a dime on family members if they are disiplined in any manner that they feel is unfair. And what kid ever thinks they deserve being disiplined? I ask you. It's all part of the fallout from the deterioration of the traditional family unit. Parental control has been removed from the equation of rearing children now-a-days. Oh, it's perfectly fine that you house them, feed them, clothe them and send them off to school mom and dad, but don't you dare try to tell them how to live!!! Yeah, I really like todays kids - especially if they're served at the right temperature! HA!

Nimue10433 8-28-2007 @ 9:54AM

I feel bad for this women's kids, although their maybe be only 40 reasons not to have kids there are hundreds of reasons to have them. I love my boys, if you raise them right then they really aren't that bad. One thing I have learned is to pick your battles and have a united front with my husband when it comes to disapline and what is expected. If one parent says no don't bother asking the other you'll get the same responds. We always talk to our kids about why we said no. They might not like it but they understand and they know that if they mess up then they will be disaplined PS2, computer, TV, IPODS and so one get taken away, don't you just love technology

Natalie 8-28-2007 @ 9:54AM

As a society, we need to make it OK to have children or NOT to have children. Think of the better environmental impact small families have on our planet. Look around you, the government is encouraging it! Single child families in commercials, in picture frames sold at stores, and elsewhere. If you open your eyes, you can see it everywhere around you!

Patricia 8-28-2007 @ 9:54AM

Who ever came up this add is a FREAKIN IDIOT or has major major low self esteem. I have 6 kids and I LOVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVE my kids and I live for my kids and Im a single Mom. I cant even add anything else to this because its useless. Go see a counslor or go a mental hospital and throw the damn key away and rot.

Autumn 8-28-2007 @ 9:55AM

I think she is self-absorbed and self-absorbed people shouldn't have kids. There is no law saying you have to have children, but if you're going to and want to enjoy it, I think you have to be able to be willing to not always put yourself first. There has to be room for another person in your life. I would think self-absorbed people would get tired of themselves though

Charlie 8-28-2007 @ 9:55AM

I don't have kids, and I could easily make my own list as to why. I couldn't care less if someone thought it was abnormal or selfish.

tink 8-28-2007 @ 6:41PM

I can't even believe that someone would say that about kids... I have 5 very Handsome sons and I am very proud of them .. I don't know and don't wanna know how life would be without them . I am out of work at this time and my husband is on ssdi and times are hard but I sure don't say well if I never had kids my life would be great how selfish of her to even think in that way...

Love My Kids through good and bad times
Elaine

camla 8-28-2007 @ 9:55AM

Barbara, how can she be "wrong"? It is her opinion and it is not as if she is speaking about it without experience.... She has children and this is what is true for her. My husband and I have no children and are very happy this way. We want to be boyfriend/girlfriend, lovers for our entire relationship instead of "Mom and Dad" to each other. We lead a very romantic life and do not want that destroyed. Perhaps if more parents were this truthful women would feel they had more of a choice to remain childless without feeling there was something lacking in their womanhood.

AnaMaria 8-28-2007 @ 9:56AM

I don't have kids (yet), and can fully understand why someone would opt not to. They destroy your life. Nothing is ever the same after having them. I have dogs, and things changed significantly when I got them- I can no longer just pick up and take off at a moment's notice. With kids it would be worse- I'm not ready for that yet (I'm 24).
I also LOATHE other people's kids. In public- at restaurants, movie theaters, pools, etc. all you can hear is screaming children. I really think people take them out in public because they are too annoying to deal with by themselves at home. I'm a firm believer that if you can't keep it quiet, keep it at home. The rest of us shouldn't be punished because your birth control didn't work. It is a bit different with my brother's kids, who are well behaved.
As for this article, though, the author should have thought more about how this would make her own children feel. Once you have kids you should try to be the best parent possible, and publicly admitting that your kids ruin your joy probably doesn't fall under that category.

Doug W 8-28-2007 @ 9:56AM

First of all, my children have brought great joy to my life and I am a much happier and complete person because of them!

Children do demand a lot of work and I don't think everyone is cut out to have children. Children do change your life and they will divert your time and attention from your career, friends and partner. They also cost money which is another lifestyle change. These points should be carefully considered before having children.

I agree with some of the points made by Maier, but her statements do not apply to everyone. At least she is letting people know what they are getting into with kids. People should do an honest assessment of what their goals are before having children.

Dwayne 8-28-2007 @ 9:57AM

A breeder after my own heart. Somebody say AMEN. Please breeders, if you must have a litter, please limit it to 2 per household through birth....and if you want more - adopt!!! Your seed is out of control and it's misuse has caused much pain and suffering and continues a vicious cycle for those dropped off here with NO plan or direction. Talk about something that should be REGULATED in the land...Lord help us! Oh well, time to run and do my part in contributing to the overpopulated, polluted, natural resource depleted and abused planet. REMEMBER - 2 replications per household!!!!!!!!! And please do it because you have something to share with a new HUMAN, not just "I want a baby! They don't stay babies!!! " . GOD thanks for your salvation plan in spite of US all!!!!!! lol...lol

Natalie 8-28-2007 @ 9:57AM

I travel overseas a lot, roughly 3 times a month to Europe for work and you have to understand that European television gives its public the full scope of the state of our environment, unlike American TV. So, from an environmental standpoint, having multiple children would seem very selfish to Europeans, who average 1.2 children in the year 2007. Even better would be zero. I guess if she was an American author it would be from a different viewpoint, but in today's world, anyone who says NOT having children is SELFISH seem rather uneducated and unworldly.

7hawk 8-28-2007 @ 9:58AM

motherhood, for me, is/was a FEAST in Soul's inescapable wilderness. I have been raised by 3 children (& one grandson now). The middle child is like the "main course" meal... basic, simple yet with complexity & depth, sometimes very tough, but always re-appearing with balancing thought-processes--- a meat, a vegetable, and a starch. The youngest child is like a dessert. I've sometimes thought of her as the 'gift my old age' (although we sometimes get comments now that we look like sisters). She is a consistent compassion & sweetness with an occasional "flambe" fare. The eldest was my trial by fire, and very much worth the alchemy of "golden" character now,,, yes, she was all the work--- the gathering of ingredients (forever searching my heart & soul to hear & understand the array of artistry in her life-force), the testing of recipes, the setting of the table, all the cleaning up--yes, a ton of personal work. And after it all, especially now when I look into the piercing eyes of her baby now (my little grandson), I still believe that children are gifts that surprise me every day of their lives. I am in awe--- the magic of human beings calling me many names of "mommy"... they are messengers between angels and the rest of us.