That's Fit

I feel sorry for her kids once they read the book.
It would make me kind kinda unwanted.

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kinda?

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At least she is being honest. Far too often in our society we shame people into doing things they don't want do, like have children. In fact, the most responsible thing any of us can do for society, for the planet, and for ourselves is to have fewer children. Almost all the psychological research shows that people who have children are less happy than those without. Lets all just try to be a little honest about it. Maybe her words will make it possible to open a dialogue about it, both with her children and with the world. There are a lot of people out there who feel the same way but never say it. The children of those parents sense it but have no way to process it. Honesty and discussion lead the way to healing, wanted or not. Besides, there is no doubt that this woman loves her children. She also shows that she cares for them and about them, makes sure they are safe, wants the best for them, and so on. Just because you love someone and protect them and care for them doesn't mean they make you happy... if you think long and hard about all of your past relationships, the relationships you know of parents of troubled children or even typical teenagers, you will recognize I am right.

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have*

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I think she could have come up with more than 40 reasons

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What I think is funny, is if her life was so wonderful before kids, why did she have them? She cited pressure from society, but my philosphy is that the people that worry about what others think are insecure and have low self esteem. You give up a lot to have kids, yes, but if you choose to do so should be for the right reasons, not just because someone thinks you should. I was on the opposite side of the fence. I got heck for having 6 kids, but that was my choice and as long as I can afford them and take care of them, is no one else's business. Is also no one's business if you do not want kids. She obviously has issues if she really did not want kids and let some outdated pressures force her to have kids.

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She's selfish and honest.

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somebody wrote that this women is bitter because she does not have a husband at this moment.
Women just took a big step's back into 1960 with that saying. Are you crazy lady to write this? with 55% of single parent's in this country?
Ann Lander's survey was the truth;
75% of parent's in hindsight would NOT have children anymore, knowing what they know NOW.
Accept it and move on and do your OWN thing and NOT what HOLLYWOOD and other's are telling you.

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Even better:

http://learningisfreedom.blogspot.com/

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Life changes drastically when you have kids, we can all agree on that. Personally, I think this woman's comments reflect the selfish side of the current generation. It scares me that people think of children as afterthoughts or don't let have children change your path in life. Having a baby changes everything about who you are and what you do. You can no longer think only about yourself. It's part of that strange dichotomy of women who feel a sense of obligation to their career, their marriage, and their kids, but realize that they can't manage it all. Although it I were going to have this dilemma, France would be the place I'd want to have it. Think maternity leave for a whole year, with pay.

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7Hawk. Beautifully put and ditto!

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Childfree people work for the community a lot more than people with children. So tell me who is the selfish one?

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OMG! What a horrible thing to say and put into writing! I can only imagine the environment in which these children are growing up in, because whether one chooses to believe it or not, kids are very perceptive to body language and other unspoken language, and are feeling this woman's regret at giving them life. I hope instead of setting up a college fund for them, that she is instead setting up a psychiatric fund because I'm fairly certain they'll need it after having this woman for a mother.

I never wanted kids because I didn't think I would be a worthy parent. At 36, I had my first and only, and I have to tell you that although it's been a tough road being a single mom, that she is what has made my life worthwhile in all aspects! She is a constant challenge, nothing about this is easy other than the love she and I share, it's second to none. Granted, my life changed dramatically, nothing will ever again be as it was, no more free time, no more weekend jaunts, no more spur of the moment getaways, and even going out with the girls is tough to do now. Do I regret it? Not for one moment. I miss those times, at times, but what I have now is monumental compared to what I had before.

I will say this... at least those who are too selfish to take on the parent role admit it and choose to forgo children before having children and then regretting it. For those of you who don't have kids because you don't want them, stick to your guns! There are enough messed up children as a result of shit parents, don't add to those numbers.

Being a successful parent is the hardest job you'll ever do. And I am well aware my hardest times are yet ahead of me. Ask me in 20 years if I regret my daughter, the answer will still be NO. She's my gift from God.

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The author is absolutely courageous and honest. I am a 25 year old married American woman who has been given HELL for being sterilized three months ago. My husband and I do not want and have never wanted children. We will not change our minds and I find it insulting when people say "oh, you'll change your mind." There ARE in fact people in this world that know what they want and are very comfortable with their decisions, no matter their age. I would ask that people please respect those individuals that choose to be childfree/childless. Some women simply do not have a biological clock, just like some people are not born with a natural talent to play an instrument. Society needs to stop pressuring women to take on the role of mother. The last thing you want is more women that feel forced to have children and, consequently, resent their children and never are able to fulfill their goals and dreams. No every woman and man has "to be a parent" on their list of the goals and dreams that they want to achieve in their lives. I highly respect people who choose to become parents and all that I ask is that they respect those of us who choose not to have children because, bottom line, it is a CHOICE.

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My wife and I married "late" in life(in our forties) ; and ,since she could not have children,we considered adopting one or two,because we both love innocent little tykes. How ever,since initially we were both working,we decided to delay doing so for at least a few years,while we got established.

Today,30 years later,I must admit,when we see the problems experienced by our friends as well as many others in properly raising their children,we are glad not to be participants. The difficulties ranging from economic to moral are overwhelming in this modern age,what with illicit sex,drug issues, alcohol addiction,inferior teachers,criminal mischief,contempt for authority on any level,world terrorism,racial issues,peer pressure,murderous Video Games,teenage drag racers,Governmental scandals,pressure from "gays" of both sexes,predatory sexual deviants(even among clerics!)etc.,etc.,etc. We really feel sympathy for parents who have to cope daily with an awful scenario like this!But,we thank God that we're not among them! We have settled for the honor of being godparents to the children of a few of our friends; even this role carries some responsibilities if one takes it seriously...John

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I can kind of relate, in a funny way. My marriage is ending and its kind of hard and part of our problems were related to the children (upbringing, discipline, etc). But those were things that should have been addressed before having the kids, so that was our mistake, not the fault of the children. In that respect, I'd like to read the book to see if it is humorous mostly. I do wonder, as someone else said, what her kids do think. My kids made my life harder, but they're all I ever wanted and I wouldn't trade having them for anything. But I'd read this chick's book just for chuckles if it is meant to be funny overall.

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i chose not to have children because i didn't want the responsibility or obligations of parenting.
if you feel that way, make the same choice.
those who choose to be and want to be parents better make sure they do everything possible to be good parents and teach responsibility, consideration, respect and the need to work hard for what you want.
enough entitlement and lazy, disrespectful kids. that's the parents fault.

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A baby is God's way of showing us he hasn't given up on the human race--yet!

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I think that anyone naive enough to have children and think your life is going to be as perfect as it ever was...is crazy and SHOULD NOT have kids...

This woman obviously didn't look at how her life may be if she had kids before she did it...My mom tells me that having kids was the best thing that ever happened to her...whether or not thats true...i don't know...i like to think so, but I know that if she ever told me "my life was better without kids" I would've left home and/or been a seriously troubled kid.

As a psychologist, I see kids like this all the time...their parents say they hate their kids or they wish they were never born and the kids end up drug addicts, self mutilators, or runaways...now, obviously not every kid is like this...there are few that overcome, but the majority face major difficulties due to comments like the ones this woman makes in her books.

AND while some of the comments may be true such as "Children are dangerous. They will take you to court without a second thought. " if you raise your child to do well and be a productive member of society...you'll be fine...and you won't loose touch with friends, or never become a professional...lots of people balance life and kids...YOU have to work at it...

I think this woman is just lazy and doesn't work enough on her outside relationships and has no drive to do better...and she uses her children as an excuse to why she's "failed".

She is terribly wrong.

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If I knew then what I know now I would have never had kids.When they where babies they stepped on your toes.Teenagers step on your heart!!!

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