Obese people pick obese mates

by Martha Edwards (Subscribe to Martha Edwards's posts)
Aug 17th 2007 12:36PM

Categories: Celebs & Entertainment, Motivation

There's a lot of controversy lately surrounding the idea that obesity might be a social disease -- that is, spending time with obese people can lead to obesity. All that considered, the news that obese people tend to have obese mates should not come as a surprise. This all fits in with a theory of assortative mating, based on the belief that people don't just choose mates randomly -- whether they mean to or not, people tend to select mates based on physical attributes like height, weight, religion, age and so on.

What do you think -- is choosing a mate who is the same size a conscious decision, is it something we're programed to do, or is this whole theory a bunch of you-know-what?

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Comments (10)

Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)

ESK 8-17-2007 @ 1:01PM

Wow, the money wasted on these studies is astounding.

Fat people "choose" fat people? Really? You don't think if a fat guy could pick up a hot chick he would, and vice versa? It's called taking what you can get.

abby 8-17-2007 @ 1:26PM

no duh! would a thin person be attracted to an obese person? studies have already shown that people pick mates GENERALLY with similar attractiveness.

Chris A 8-17-2007 @ 1:17PM

I don't 100% disagree with ESK, but think it has more to do with you social setting. It is common sense that if you are obese and hang out with obese people, then you would probably choose an obese mate. If you are fit, you probably value fitness and a fit lifestyle, so it doesn't really make sense that you would choose an obese mate.

ESK 8-17-2007 @ 1:37PM

fat people are unattractive, that is why people who are in good shape don't choose fat people, they don't have to. Simple as that.

James 8-17-2007 @ 2:25PM

So what ESK is saying is ugly date ugly and attractive date attractive, which is more than just "obese date obese".

for example, i've dated some girls that would be defined as "obese" based on height/weight but were very pretty, and i've dated skinny but not so great looking. My weight fluctuates greatly, going from 265 to 185 in the past few years, mostly due to the fact that when i'm single i workout and eat healthy to find a girl, then when I do we eat out more and the girls I find would rather we watch a movie than hit the gym so I slowly gain weight.

richard day gore 8-17-2007 @ 3:38PM

It's not just a matter of attractiveness/attraction. Obesity brings emotional challenges that only another obese person can understand.
Regards,
Richard Day Gore

ESK 8-17-2007 @ 2:40PM

James proves my point with his cycle. Get fit, find girl, get fat, girl leaves, so james gets fit again.

For the fit person, it's a matter of attractiveness, for the fatty, it's a matter of lack of options.

Namaste 8-17-2007 @ 6:01PM

For a site dedicated to healthy living, I'm disgusted by the unhealthy attitudes of some of these comments. The "fatty" has a lack of options? People in good shape don't choose fat people? How shallow and narrow-minded of you supposed "fit" commenters.

Fitness goes beyond the body and includes emotional and spiritual fitness. Clearly there are some people who think it's all about looks, and that's really unfortunate. Just like obese people may have obese mates, I would extrapolate that narrow-minded people probably choose each other too, leading to a sad proliferation of these attitudes.

richard day gore 8-18-2007 @ 12:56AM

I'm so with you, Namaste. We live in an appearance-driven society, which will always trivialize the person within. It's a shame.
Richard Day Gore

Deb Jackson 8-22-2007 @ 8:56AM

I agree that the "news" about obese people gravitating to their own kind is NOT news, and who in the world funded such an outrageous study in the first place? Relationships are what we make of them, no matter if they're obese/fit, same/opposite race, sex, religion or creed. I think some of the commenters on here should get a grip on reality...EVERYONE is judged "unattractive" at one time or another by someone because of their body, attitude, etc. I have lost and gained more weight in 50 years than I care to remember. It's a constant struggle for me and it always will be. But now because of health issues, I'm stressing a healthier lifestyle for my children, and I'm reaping the benefits as well. I've heard it said before, and now I know it's true, you'll do things for your children you could never do for yourself. Not only are we eating and living healthier, I remind my family everyday that because someone is overweight is no excuse to say you can't do something. You CAN exercise on SOME level! And just because someone is fit and active doesn't mean they don't have some kind of emotional baggage, even if they "look" like they don't. So, judge not lest ye be judged, eh?