Angry men get ahead. Angry women? Not so much

Posted on Aug 4th 2007 2:53PM by Martha Edwards

Filed Under: Work/Home Balance, Diet & Weight Loss, Motivation

There are so many differences between how men and women are treated in the world, and here's another: When angry, men are admired, whereas women are thought to be irrational. What do you think about this? I for one do believe that women are perceived this way; so often, both men and women are quick to label an angry woman as a witch (or another word that rhymes with that.)

I suppose it's an evolutionary response--historically, powerful, commanding males were the most successful, while women who were good at mothering were favoured. But that notion is outdated and unfair -- a lot has changed since the caveman ages and so should how we women are regarded.

I suppose not getting angry is a solution that women can look towards, but how likely is that? How can powerful women command the same admiration as men when we speak our minds?

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Tags: admiration, anger, bitch, gender differences, GenderDifferences, irrational, men, witch, woman, women

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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 4)

Crabby McSlacker 8-05-2007 @ 12:24AM

I saw this too and it made me... well, angry!

I'm not sure if what we need are more angry women or fewer angry men.

Personally, I don't admire people of either gender who can't control their emotions enough to act in a respectful way towards others. But being passionate about things should be equally fine for both genders!

I'm appalled that there's still such a double standard. Enough of that nonsense, gals, lets start challenging this attitude when we run across it!

(Crabby hosts her own weird little health blog where women get to be every bit as angry as men if they feel like it! But it's usually just pretty silly over at http://crankyfitness.blogspot.com/)

sagessales 8-16-2007 @ 8:11PM

I can't remember where, but I read that European women are allowed to express their anger more than we are. Was this study solely in the US?
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John 8-16-2007 @ 8:55PM

Having worked for or with a number of women (and men) over the past 30 years, I think there is some truth to this, but I think it is a matter of degree.

I've worked for some very powerful women (and men) whom I deeply admire and respect, and some for whom I can't say the same.

The difference usually comes down to this: How long does she (or he) rant and rave and yell? How quickly does she (or he) get her point across? How often does she (or he) have these ranting/raving episodes?

The SUCCESSFULL women will rant and rave and yell and pound on the conference table for 2 minutes or less. The UNSUCCESSFUL women will go on and on and on and on for 5 minutes.

Guess what! The UNSUCCESSFUL men also rant, etc., for 5 minutes (or more).

Plus, I've seen a difference in the approach used by successful women and unsuccessful women. The successful women COACH their team, the unsuccessful women BELITTLE their team.

My advice is very simple.
(1) Make your point (or points) quickly, efficiently, and don't ramble, rant, and rave for more than a couple or minutes or you look stupid, overly emotional, and lose the respect of your staff.
(2) Don't make your outbursts routine - save them for special situations.
(3) Coach, don't belittle.

And that holds for males as well as females.

veeeeee 8-17-2007 @ 8:27PM

Who pays attention to this stuff anyway?????????????

illegal smile 8-16-2007 @ 9:20PM

In my experence it is the reason or the issue that causes the anger that dictates the perception of the angery person. Men and women become angery over different things. Women tend to get angery over issuse that men see as trivial, such as gossip. Men seem more into getting angey over things such as property, while not worring as much about the he said she said bulls**t. When as man gets angery over an employee not doing their job, it is seen as justified. When a woman loses her cool over what someone said, she is seen overly emotional. These are generalizations, but they are my personal observations.

John 8-16-2007 @ 9:37PM

It's not nice to fool Mother Nature.

There is a reason for every evolutionary issue that has arisen. We are both foolish and arrogant to think that the current historical anomaly which is what sadly passes for modern day America is either going to continue or is even faintly healthy. Millions of years of evolution and cultural development cannot be lightly swept away, certainly not by the absurd “feminist movement.”

While biology does not need to control all of our actions, we act as if technology and America will endure forever. Neither will. Our technology is much more likely to be used by the military and idiots like Duh-bya to destroy us as to be used for peaceful means to expand us. America, like all other empires, has passed into decadence and will fall sometime in the next 100 years or so…maybe sooner if we keep electing village idiots and their keepers to the highest public offices in the land.

“Those who do not know history are doomed to repeat it.” We mess with evolutionary traits at our great peril. Without the current technological and social support system American women would not be able to compete with women from more primitive cultures where more traditional evolutionary roles are learned, along with the strength to work side by side with their husbands in the fields or at a trade. The man-hating feminist witches wouldn’t last 5 minutes past a civilization collapse.

Liz 8-16-2007 @ 10:03PM

Well this makes me pissed! BUT it is OLD NEWS. Women are always thought of as irrational or crazy when we show our emotions. That's because men can't stand our emotions. They make them scared because they don't understand them. It's their deficiency, NOT OURS!!!!

cd 8-16-2007 @ 10:17PM

Gee. Is any woman really surprised by this "news"? I knew it before I clicked the link, hoping that I might be wrong. Am I angry? No. I'm saddened by the fact that men AND women still buy into this stereotype. Beyond that, I have to ask--don't women have more to be angry about?

Liz 8-16-2007 @ 10:17PM

PS. John F.O.

HappyMommy 8-16-2007 @ 10:41PM

My family thinks that I am irrational when I get angry. (mainly the males) go figure huh? I have found a work from home business that actually treat men and women the exact same! We are equals in EVERY way! you should check it out!

http:www.HappierYou.fourpointconsultants.com

dutchcream 8-16-2007 @ 10:43PM

In my experience, angry men take their wrath out on everyone. Angry women, on the other hand, lash out at other women. An angry woman will kiss UP (to those in power over them), and KICK those under them. We women have to quit abusing each other and support each other in our attempts to break the glass ceiling.

On another note, I'm surprised our local Neandertal throwback, John, can use a keyboard, much less traverse the Internet. You keep praying to your god of war and storms, Yahweh, for that eventual ((?)) collapse of civilization. The last time I checked, he hasn't answered anyone's prayers since Jesus put him in his place 2,000 years ago. Sorry little buddy, you ain't never gonna get to drag a woman back to your cave by the hair.

lol@cha 8-16-2007 @ 10:58PM

How do women have more to be angry about? Why do people say such stupid things? Why do you say such antogonistic things of one gender? One without the other would be chaos - Or communism, fight back if this is what they say...either way.
spread the peace don't encourage hate, or distrust.
There have been powerful women in history, just not as many. In China I think there was one who was a terrible dictator...that's a role model for women? So now you are pinpointing emotions as not being equal?.... do you want to be a man, or men to be women? Or do you really think anger is necessary? get out of journalism - or give more solutions than questions. Ending with a question that has no supporting points is very professional... Saying that a lot has changed since the caveman days is not to strong a point either... We hardly have any evidence of those times! Unclear, points seem unrealistic, it's a C- Junior high paper, right?

John 8-16-2007 @ 11:02PM

Unfortunately, there are two of us named John. I'm the 8:55 PM John.

There are five executives/directors/managers I've worked for who stood out above all the rest. I hold them in the highest regard. Perhaps the other John would find it interesting that...

Three of the five were male.
Two of the five were female.

Perhaps people should be less concerned with gender and more concerned with social, career, and managerial skills.

Bryan 8-16-2007 @ 11:06PM

There's an old proverb, "Anger dulls the blade." Be Male or Female I believe this is true of any emotion. Anger included. If one wishes to get anywhere in life one should strive to turn their emotional turmoil around and use it to strengthen their own resolve. Then they can overcome any obstacle life may throw in their path. We live in a society that does little to condone any emotional individuality less we risk severe scrutiny. If history has taught us anything it is that true leaders, be they men or women first and foremost had mastery of themselves. Let us both as men and women not use the "emo" card to further the gains of extremists on both sides of the field to devide us as who we are. We are all equal in our humanity. It is only our ego that clouds this truth for good or ill. Bryan

Scott 8-16-2007 @ 11:45PM

Why is it that women like the one who wrote this always complain about equality? Do you see men complaining? You women get off easy. God gave you boobs. You can wear a nice push up bra and get whatever you want but then you complain that guys oggle your boobs arem't nice to you for who you are but what you have.

MIke 8-16-2007 @ 11:50PM

Martha,

Please don't take any of this personally.

You are not quite correct.
Maybe your social studying is behind.

"Getting mad" at the situation is a "defense".
And it works!!!
Nobody wants to approach a person that is
pi$$ed.
I'm surprised that you missed this in your basic
101 knowledge.
And it has been "proven".

This is VASTLY different than what you propose.
YET, it is the norm.

Don't confuse 'conditioned' societal response to
a presumed workplace "inequity".

I wouldn't work for a male -or- female Bitch.

HOWEVER MUCH THEY SCREAMED!!!

Mike.

anniarki 8-17-2007 @ 12:00AM

God gave some women bigger breasts than he gave others, but it doesn't mean biggers can be choosers. And Scott, what age of woman did you have in mind when you made that comment? Are all women 20 to 30 years old in your mind? I might have boobs in a push-up bra, but you are a boob in a pushed-in mindset.

Angel 8-17-2007 @ 12:09AM

unfortunately it is the women themselves who are the first to label themselves as well... And I for one am always ANGRY!

Nicole 8-17-2007 @ 12:24AM

No one should have to work for or with someone who can't control their temper. The idea that women need to be more like men is sad. We all have our + & -. We need to get over this stuff!

Tammy Ashley 8-17-2007 @ 12:30AM

I am an angry woman. I have many issues to deal with that I either don't know how to deal with or think its to late too depending on the situation. I don't usually let my anger show I keep everything all inside although there have been times in my life I have let it show and been labeled a bitch as mentioned. It is just a surface title from people who don't know you well and don't know what you've been through. I say, before you judge someone right off walk a mile in their shoes. You don't know what they've been through or where the're coming from.