"a new University of Pittsburgh physical activity study shows having a baby can cause men to workout almost 4.5 fewer hours per week. Women's activity levels only fell by 1.3 hours per week...men may have experienced a greater drop because they were initially more active than women. Whatever the reason, men need to be more prepared for how a child will change their lives and, potentially, their waist lines."

damn that's pretty scary.

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Thanks, Rigel, for ending with this with "guys just have to realize..." rather than the all-to-frequent, "women can help by...(dragging their hubby's reluctant butt to the doctor)".

Somehow in our society women are often seen as the ones in charge of everyone's health, even their husbands'. Guys need to learn to take a little responsibility for their own care.


(However, it would take a very brave man to visit Crabby's weird little health & fitness blog. Best stay far away from http://crankyfitness.blogspot.com/)

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My husband died from prostate cancer because he wouldn't discuss with me the symptoms he was having and he wouldn't go to a doctor and tell him about his symptoms. I never knew he was having a problem until it was far too late.

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I had a "suspect" mammogram and did not want to take off all kinds of time off from work to get rescreened. It was my boyfriend who insisted that I go and made a big deal of it. Turns out it was cancerous and he always called to make sure I went to all appointments and continues to support me during my reconstruction. So when it came time to go for a checkup he did not want to go but agreed to more willingly than in the past because he now knows early detection is so important. If we can all just keep each other going for checkups, life would be great. When you love someone and want them around you will go as a gift to each other.

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It's true people, if it would NOt be for our wifes heaven
knows where we would be, earlier in the grave thats for sure. Why are we so in denial about life and our health?
why do we have insurance if we dont use it , at least for
our standard yearly check up's? TV,radio etc always says
that we are totaly dis-engaged from life, i am starting
to beliefe it and say YES we are sad to say.

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If men had privates which included an area which, during ones lifetime, had to be monitored for what goes in and comes out and the healthiness of either at any given time, they would proably be more likely to seek medical care over a lifetime.
Since this isnt the case, men arent willing to fix something that seemingly not broken, so why go?
Go because we are intelligent human beings who have made great technological discoveries over time, in order to try to keep people from dying from something that can be completely erradicated with early detection and treatment.
Go if you dont have insurance, there are ways to get screened for free (healthfairs, Komen, etc).
Go because even when you have a 1% chance of something, someone has to be that 1% and yes, it can be you.
Go because someone will miss you if you die because you were too stubborn to go get checked.

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Unfortunately, my male friends who don't seek treatment for well-care or when they're sick are avoiding the doctor only because they are self-employed and cannot afford insurance--thus, they cannot afford a doctor's visit and tests. Yet one more thing to consider, that in the richest country in the world, many people can't afford to see a doctor or dentist, and many of them are men.

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I am currently the only one in my family who doesn't have health insurance (and I'm the mom!) It worries me daily that I could come down with something that won't be detected in time because I don't have insurance to help pay for dr. visits and we don't have the financial ability to pay for them out of pocket or to pay for private health insurance either.
I don't qualify for any federal or state help to try and make sure that I am healthy and that different symptoms that I have experienced aren't serious, because my husband makes too much money, though they don't consider that we have house and car payments and the fact that we already pay almost $300 a month in premiums for State health care for our children because they are the only insurers willing to cover them medically (one has ADHD and the other has Epilepsy - thus when we've attempted to get quotes from private insurance they've said that they'll cover them for more than triple the average cost on the condition that ANYTHING associated with either condition would NEVER be covered... Uhh, ok that's our biggest need and yet they'll take more than triple our money and refuse to help where there is a need)
I'm also overweight so getting private coverage is even more difficult and costly, making it impossible to get coverage.
The little money we have every month goes to slowly pay off the huge amount of medical bills that my daughter has from before our state started offering the ability to 'buy into' their state insurance when your over the income eligability level.
I've asked some dr.'s if they'd let me work out payment arrangements and the only ones willing are the local health departments that are so over worked that it's difficult to get an appointment that is an over all check up, they only worry about the immediate problems and if you should need any types of testing you have to go and pay those in full at the time of the tests....

I look forward to the day that I can return to work full time and have group coverage, I just pray that nothing bad happens before that time comes.
Due to my daughter's seizures, I am often called to pick her up from school at the drop of a hat and have to be able to leave immediately without recourse from my employer... and that's hard to find. Not to mention at this age (4) there aren't any before/after school care centers that are willing to take on the risk/responsibility of her care.

It would be nice if there were some solutions for those in my situation, I know I can't be the only one.
(My hubby does have limited insurance through his work, but we can't afford the huge increase that it is to add me, plus we'd have to pay the first $2,000 on top of the weekly premiums they take out of his check and then 20% after that)

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It's not that we forget or push going to the doctors or dentists to the side. Alot of us (myself included) also don't go because everywhere else in our lives that we can think of we are strong, and nothing bothers us, and we are a rock pillar for everyone else. All that goes out the window when a doctor tells your sick, you can't go to work, or your put on light duty at your job. Then we feel very weak and vulnerable and that we are not capable of protecting ourselves and our loved ones.

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It is a no win situation for the man … for the average man going to the doctor means more bills to pay as insurance doesn’t really cover enough of the cost. Most men don’t want the added cost especially if nothing is wrong. Add to that the stress of the DR’s visit plus the stress of the new expense and it just becomes another stressful marital problem of new bills and where is the money going to come from. Most marriages break because of financial issues. Men would rather avoid the added stress. I’m not saying that is right … but most men have enough to deal with just trying to make ends meet. Plus most men have always been taught that ‘if it isn’t broke, don’t fix it.’

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This is going to sound mean Tess, but get a legal divorce, and then you will get coverage because you don't have to claim him anymore. When you're stable again, then get married again. Marriage is in the heart, not on a piece of paper and if the piece of paper is hurting you, then get rid of the paper. Of course, you'll have to make yourself familiar with the laws of your state to see how it all works, but I've heard of people doing it. Though, some do it and they shouldn't be.... bunch of leaches... but there is a way for you to get coverage, you are just going to have to find it. You might also try looking into COBRA. I was on that because I didn't need the full blown heath insurance of where I worked and also, in 6 months, I would be getting married and moving away, so it made sense for me to have it, and it was only like $25 a month.

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My husband 7 months ago left me without a reason why. He just turned 46. He had problems with erectile dysfunction. Not wanting to admit to himself of this. He has become depressed. He even is now living with another woman. but to my understanding nothing has changed. I feel in my heart there is more to the problem than he knows or I. He has great insurance but he will not take the major step to just go and talk with his Doctor. Afraid to know? Afraid to find out that it may be more than he can handle? Before he left me I begged him to go see someone talk to someone. So why do men that have every thing going for them and have something inside them that just isnt right. So much in denial with what is. When all it takes is 1 simple call. I love this man and have forgiven this man. If being with another woman was to see or make him feel more of a man. Well as they say the proof is in the pudding. Any ideas out there

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I just want all the men out there to understand how vitally important it is to get your annual check up, including prostate exams. My father was a very healthy happy guy who, thank god, went to his annual exams regularly. About a year ago they found prostate cancer. No symptoms, nothing. They caught it early enough that they did minimal surgury and he is now recovering, and doing very well. I cant stress enough to everyone, regardless of the inconvience, to please take the time and get a check up!!!!!

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Cindy: He did not leave you just to make himself feel like a man. You need to realize this. You may not have done anything to cause him to leave (sounds like a mid-life crisis); this is his problem, not yours. Obviously, you have tried to get him to get help-probably over a long period of time; finances and insurance are not the problem. So, if you have done everything you could, he is not stupid, and he has the coverage, then he has done this out of his own choice. You need to look for ways to move on with your life, depite your love for him. You need counseling, to learn not to be an enabler-cuz that is what you're doing by hanging on to hopes of a reconciliation. It most lilely will not happen-or if it does, it will not last. He sounds like an ass to begin with, and his mid-life crisis will only damage further relations between you. Moving out quickly is one thing, but moving in with another woman immediately SCREAMS something else-he has been having an affair behind your back for a long time most likely, and there is a good chance his erectile dysfuntion is only related to you. Pick yourself up, use his insurance (that I am sure you are still on) to get counseling, and prepare for a divorce. Maybe that will wake him up. And if he does come home, make an appointment for him, don't tell him about it, and then just take him in, with you in attendance at all times. If he refuses, you need to leave him for good. Send a letter to the doctor beforehand telling him of all the problems, both physically and mentally and emotionally that has been going on, so the doctor is aware of the serious problems, cuz your hubby is not going to say a word most likely. Women like you need to wake up and smell the coffee, cuz you only get one life, and it is short, and if you truly have tried everything and nothing is working-get a new life for yourself and your kids, if any. Good luck and get going!

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My husband currently has been complaining of a lower back ache. He started a new job and doesn't yet have the coverage, but there is a clinic he can go to which is free, I've even went but he refuses to go. I just do not understand it. I can't stand to be in pain and he doesn't seem to be tolerating it very well and I do sympathize with him, his screaming isn't what I'm angry about, it's that he's not doing anything that is worrying me and our son. I wish he would just suck it up and go see the doctor at the clinic.

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Sometimes it takes a serious illness to get our guys to start taking care of themselves.

My guy beat kidney cancer and now is very vigilant about getting checkups, and if he "just doesn't feel right" he's on the phone with his doctor's nurse. Before that, he'd just whine about how miserable he felt and not do anything about it.

The insurance industry (more like a racket) doesn't help either. He took early retirement (62), and because of the cancer he had a hard time finding coverage. His premiums are a little over $500 a month ($2,000 deductible) - almost half of his Social Security check.

I think that if (a very big if) insurance becomes more affordable, more men may start taking better care of themselves - and easing the stress levels of their families.

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I am one of the working poor bastards out there... the system is soooo f'd up. Our family is one of them that made so little, we were able to get assistance in wisconsin. My wife's got chrohn's disease and is otherwise uninsurable. My prior employer dropped health insurance, so we transfered to her employers insurance. 100k lifetime max benefit is nothing. of course she got sick. went WAY past the 100k mark. She was no longer able to be covered by her employers plan. So.. here we sat. we got assistance for coverage at a reasonable cost due to our low income. it was affordable and covered most things. My employment changed. no longer within the guidelines for the poverty level, we were no longer eligible for the assistance. She is now on HIRSP (state backed, but not cheap.. and worthless in my opinion) for over $400 per month - she's the only one with insurance at this time. I pay over $400 per month to the clinic for non covered expenses. they dont even cover blood tests or preventative exams for her crohns. I ran the math... we spent over $16,000 on medical and her insurance. Unless I am on the verge of death, I will not go in. I cant afford it. my pay at my new job went up $5,000, but my income went down $15,000...

people wonder why we dont get things checked... we worry more about our families than ourselves. we are too stubborn for a little pain.

additionally... guys dont talk about thier problems like women do. how many times do girls go to the restrooms together. guys dont chit chat the same way. They don't have the same support groups that most women have... or are to stubborn/proud to admit to needing them.

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I agree that most men don't let anyone know when something is wrong. They put off going to the doctor because they either don't want to know, or when they do eventually find out what is wrong with them, it is kept quiet and not talked about. I cannot stress enough the importance of health checkups and communication. My father wouldn't go to the doctor because he was "fine". Even though he had developed a serious cough, became withdrawn and "achy". When he did eventually go to his physician, he said we overreacted and everything was fine. We laid him to rest two months later, after a massive coronary and emphysema. He was 57. And yes, he had been told by his physician about his ailments, he just never wanted us to worry about him.

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Yes, I have some advice, Cyndia. Let him go and be with that other woman. He will find out he is not any better with her and she will either tell him to get some professional help or she will drop him like a hot potato. And for heaven's sake, don't take him back! Macho guys are only undoing themselves.

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I find being single or if you say me no speak englich you will get everything you want...The System SUCKS...So sad this is america...The working people get the shaft and im a diabled person...And I still think the working people get the shaft...

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