Have you ever heard the stereotype about women being desperate for commitment? That stereotype used to really bother me a lot, especially since I was totally independent and never felt I needed anyone to be whole. Now that I am a little older and a lot wiser (I hope), and certainly a lot more fit, I wish that stereotype were at least partially true--but probably not in the way you think.

See, when I was about twelve years old I got tired of being the pudgy kid no one wanted to pick for the kickball teams. I wasn't obese or anything but I wasn't even able to make it around the block. And I was tired all the time. And bored. If I had been in better shape I could've played sports with all the other kids, and probably would've liked it.

When I was twelve I made a commitment to myself to get in shape and to stay that way. It has been twenty years since I made that commitment and I've held to it. I've smoked, I've eaten for therapy, I've lived off spaghetti, I've done it all. But I always came back to fitness. I always reminded myself that no one else was going to give me the body or the lifestyle that I wanted but me. I couldn't hire someone to run those miles or eat that salad. Nope, it had to be me.

And I had to want it badly enough. I did. I wanted to be fit and stay fit more than anything else I'd ever desired. Many of us say, oh I wish I could look like that, or I wish I could fit into that dress, or I wish I could run like that. Well, you can. Of course you can--we all can. It just requires time, effort and energy--the same things you'd put into any other relationship.

When I married my husband I made a commitment to him--you know, honor, cherish, all that good stuff. We both realized that our commitment to each other wasn't going to be easy. It's the same relationship you have with yourself, at least the one you should have. You should honor and cherish yourself every day, while realizing that occasionally your relationship with yourself will be a rocky one.

What I hate to hear is a woman going on and on about how fat she is or how ugly she is or how she's just not capable of changing those things. That is total hogwash. I was one of those women--constantly worried about how my butt looked in something.

Well, I am here to tell you that if we took all the time, energy and effort we put into putting ourselves down or worrying about our butts and worked out for that amount of time we'd be SMOKIN'. It's a put your money where your mouth is scenario. It's a "just do it" scenario. Whatever it is, get yourself a scenario already and stop thinking you can't have a great body or be in great shape. You can.

It just requires commitment. The same kind of commitment you may by dying to have with someone else. Why not have the kind of relationship you want with yourself first? After all, won't a good relationship with yourself teach you what commitment is all about?