The Virtues of Unmarriage

A recent survey conducted by the Census Bureau revealed that just barely more than half (50.3%) of households in the United States contain unmarried couples. Thus, what once was considered scandalous behavior is now simply par for the course.

While the advantages of marriage have always been well-documented--married couples live longer and tend to be happier, among the findings of some studies when compared to their single counterparts--now the virtues of remaining unwed have come to light. Those virtues of remaining unmarried can be found here.

So what's behind this trend? Some point to celebrity behavior. Powerful women such as Oprah have refused to get married because they don't want to be seen as just a wife. Brad Pitt who I'll point out has been married before, as we know all too well, is refusing to tie the knot until everyone in this country has the same right. Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins whose refusal to consent to marriage could be seen as politically motivated seem more than capable of making cohabitation work.

In a modern world (in the United States, anyway) where so many marriages result in divorce, perhaps committing to "unmarriage" as it's being called is a sensible alternative to referring the crumbling relationship to what Harry from the movie When Harry Met Sally refers to as "the law firm of That's Mine, This is Yours."

While each person's rights are protected by law in a traditional marriage--in other words, what's mine and what's yours, indeed--those electing the unmarriage route have no such rights. Many don't want them. One could surmise that since folks are getting married later in life than they were twenty years ago, and that most enter into the relationship with their own jobs, their own money and their own lives fully intact, they wouldn't need such protection from the law.

Not being able to get health insurance coverage is another concern that may have gone the way of the dinosaur. Many partners bring their own health insurance sourced through their employers to the table and don't necessarily need coverage from a spouse's plan. Many forward-thinking companies also offer benefits for domestic partners, thereby negating the need for a wedding band and some documentation before heading to one's annual physical.

Outside of the aftermath of marriage, many choose to avoid a wedding due to the cost involved. Having paid for my own wedding myself, I find this argument above the others does not hold much water. I managed to get married and honeymoon for less than what some spend on specialty coffee. Avoiding a wedding, however, does save one the grief of figuring out seating arrangements.